MySpace

“it's not a hassle for me”

“Pam, my reason for giving you the last word is because I had nothing to add. We still disagree. I still don't understand how you could have "found" other accounts, but were constantly monitoring him. That doesn't make sense to me. I understand your point about being a "friend". Agreed. I think as a hard working parent you obviously would feel defensive about a comment like that. It's understandable. But if at some point you calm down and think about it, you may come to realize you don't have the omniscient view of your kids on the internet like you think you do. In mere seconds they can not only be witness to things kids that age should not see, but every "internet related" fear a parent could have can also come to fruition in mere seconds, IF they are not truly monitored constantly, or restricted. That's a fact, and probably every nighttime television news 'magazine' has demonstrated that more than once. It's not just my opinion.”

“Pammie, it's a trolling technique he's used for years.”

“Sarge, I am going to guess from other people's comments that you do not have a child or teen of your own; true? You really cannot sit next to or on top of your child 24/7. We are not attached at the belly button, they cut that cord long ago. We don't live in their pockets. We don't go to school with them. And yes, sometimes their friends know more about them than we do. (That's why I make it a point to know my kid's friends) You have about 10 years (my best guesstimate) to pack all of the best morals into them that you can. You do the best you can and you pray a whole heck of a lot. Even though we actually spend their whole lives raising them planning to let go of them, we really are letting them go by inches from the moment they are crawling. But you are definetly letting them go when they are pre-teens and teens at a much faster rate and you are praying the whole time that the lessons you gave when they were younger are sticking well. Still while you are letting go, you are providing some protection, but not so much that they feel it's restrictive, because if they do feel that, they WILL rebel. They will rebel in ways that are much more dangerous than the things you were trying to protect them from in the first place. You do it enough that they know you love them. It's a very fine line that we walk. Some kids have problems and need an even more watchful eye, you have to be wise and thoughtful enough to discern that. Parenting is not for cowards.”

“Tilt, it helps me that I know what I am speaking of here. I have TONS of job experience. I have been hired several times for this job experience. I have references!”

“ok this is what one of my daughters at the age of 19 posted on her MYSPACE.....


Chapter 2:

1. Do you live with your parent(s)?
yea and i love it...but im totally moving out soon

2. Do you get along with your parent(s)?
yea always....im probably the only person that can say theyre my best friends..i could talk to them about ANYTHING....including the ganj lol

3. Are your parents married/separated/divorced?
happily married for 20 years :-D


I am very proud of her. she is a good person deep in her heart!!!”

“"the ganj"? thats what the kids are calling nowadays?”

“i am not talking to you Mr crash. you no reply to email. you are evil!!”

“im having problems with my aol”

“i had to look up "the ganj". i thought it was the "other thing"”

“ok I forgive you about the AOL but what the heck are you talking about the ganj”

“the ganj. firefly

i thought ganj was some weird teenage euphemism for s-e-x”

“firefly

Is that what kids are calling it nowadays?
















Well, I know Crash is. ;)”

“i totally should add that to urbandictionary”

“totally”

“word!!”

“when I read gang, I immediately thought weed (good Jamaican gold, mon). But then crash confused me so I looked it up.”

“Yeah, I understand all that Pam, but you can try. You can also set rules, like not to use the internet when you're not around. That doesn't mean they will follow that rule, but that is why you lay the groundwork that you spoke of. If you catch them disobeying, you can punish them so that they will hopefully not do it again, especially when they are younger. But, using the excuse that "I can't definitively monitor them 24/7" isn't an excuse for not trying or setting the rule.

I know parents who have that rule. It works. Of course, as you indicated, you have to do all of the laying of the groundwork first.

ps - It's true that I don't have kids of my own, but I have plenty of reasons to know what I'm talking about. Also, word of advise, don't believe everything you hear on here when people jump on the bandwagon and speak ill of me, like mapleleaf, tilt and ruby just did. At least give me a chance to give you the other side of the story if you decide to believe their lies. Especially Ruby, as she has said some very untrue lies about me and I can prove it.
last edited: 11/16/07 9:05:23 PM”

“It's a real shame about that girl. The teenage years can be tough. Those people are a-holes.

Did anyone else find it extremely odd that they had the balls to file a police report when their foosball table showed up in pieces in the driveway?”

“sorry to split hairs, but i thought the police report was for the yard damage caused by the truck. i suppose you could split hairs even further and say that you never said "about", you said "when". and then i could split hairs even further and say that often people say "when" when they mean "about" isnt this fun?

anyways, yea, cuz now it makes it obvious who the creeps were, since i believe police reports are a matter of public record
last edited: 11/16/07 9:15:04 PM”

“of course there are rules. whether or not i am there does not mean anything, my son knows that there ARE rules. it is possible for me to find things out, not always, but i often do and it can be unpredictable. he also has to deal with his own concience, and the fact that the Lord is watching. he has to process these thoughts whenever he thinks of breaking the rules. consequences? always. can i make his life a living hell? you bet. have i? no doubt. he tightens his own chain. it's all up to him to loosen it.

too bad his hell is also mine.

and every computer has the opportunity for a password; capiche?

and i know everytime he logs onto his myspace and etc etc etc.

I'm trying Sarge to give you the benefit of the doubt, really I am. But when you insult me by assuming I don't set rules, you are pushing it. As to your belief that you know what you are talking about, you are going to have to prove that to me. Perhaps you raised a child not your own? I will accept that. But unless you have raised a child, you really cannot understand what a parent has/is going through, it is simply different. You may empathize, but you cannot offer advice. It is the same way that I would never offer advice to a teacher on how to deal with a class of 30 children. I know how to deal with four at a time, I even know how to deal with 15 at a time in the context of a Scout troop for two hours or a weekend of camping. But I have never had to teach 5 subjects to 30 kids for 6 hours and I would never presume to try and tell anything to a teacher about something I had no true understanding of or experience with.”

“But when you insult me by assuming I don't set rules, you are pushing it.

What are you talking about?”

“But unless you have raised a child, you really cannot understand what a parent has/is going through, it is simply different. You may empathize, but you cannot offer advice.

You may not accept it, but I can offer it. There are many things that one doesn't have to experience to offer advise for. Have you ever stuck a nail gun to your forehead and pulled the trigger? I bet if you saw somebody else doing it you'd offer your advise, wouldn't you? If they stuck it to somebody else's head, you'd probably also criticize them. Have you ever stuck a nail gun to somebody else's head? The point is that argument just doesn't cut it.”

“More trolling.”

“i thought pam was going to get the last word”

“Parenting = Shooting yourself in the head?

I guess I can see it.”

“i thought pam was going to get the last word

She was offered it, but she asked for more.”

“then your offer was bullsht”

“That makes no sense. I mean she literally asked for more, not figuratively.”

“She was offered that last word, not the last word.”

“god forbid you should let it drop, anyways but what the hell. god forbid i should ever resist giving you a hard time

maybe if you had boobs id be nicer to you
last edited: 11/16/07 9:57:57 PM”

“god forbid you should let it drop

You're kidding, right? You brought it up again, not me. Have you forgotten? It's the post right before mine.”

“But when you insult me by assuming I don't set rules, you are pushing it. Pamela

What are you talking about?” Sarge

What am I talking about Sarge? This:

Yeah, I understand all that Pam, but you can try. You can also set rules...If you catch them disobeying, you can punish them so that they will hopefully not do it again, especially when they are younger. But, using the excuse that "I can't definitively monitor them 24/7" isn't an excuse for not trying or setting the rule

There you are assuming.

Nailgun to the forehead? Oh please. I think everyone here sees how weak that argument is.

What is it that you do for a living? May I please know so that I can tell you how to do it better? I'm sure I can, there must be some experience in my life that relates and makes me better at your job than you are.

Do you see what a rediculas statement that is? Unless you are a cashier or a noon duty I'm not likely to be able to, am I?”

“
What am I talking about Sarge? This:

Yeah, I understand all that Pam, but you can try. You can also set rules...If you catch them disobeying, you can punish them so that they will hopefully not do it again, especially when they are younger. But, using the excuse that "I can't definitively monitor them 24/7" isn't an excuse for not trying or setting the rule

When I said this, I was responding to your post where you were using "you" as in anybody, a hypothetical person. I meant it the same way you meant it. I was responding to your post. It wasn't a commentary about you specifically, only the concepts you brought up. I never assumed anything about any rules you may or may not have made.

Do you see what a rediculas(sic) statement that is? Unless you are a cashier or a noon duty I'm not likely to be able to, am I?

The reason my analogy isn't ridiculous is because it's true. If it is not true, show me how. Otherwise, I will continue believing it is true, and therefore not ridiculous. We both know you'd say something about the nail gun even if you've never experienced it yourself. That statement is only ridiculous if it is not true.

The reason your "occupational" analogy is incorrect is because that is a technical skill which must be taught, not something that can be learned through just living. That is why you had to dismiss the other example of the cashier. It's simple enough that most intelligent people can pick it up with a little common sense and fooling around with the cash register.

What you should be asking yourself is not what qualifications I have, but how true are my statements. To reiterate, many nightly television shows have demonstrated that children can do "bad" things on their computers in a very short amount of time. They've also shown the reality of child predators. It's not an uncommon thing. Many parents agree with me (I know not only because I did research online, but I personally know parents that follow these principles.) Don't fall into the ad hominem trap Pam. Focus on how true words are. If you disagree with them, fine.
last edited: 11/16/07 11:08:32 PM”

“(I ran out of time to edit - please add this after the words "may or may not have made" after the first paragraph)

The only rule that I KNOW you haven't made (because you've said as much) is the one that you have to be there with them if they're going to be online. This is the rule I was discussing. You've admitted as much, so why criticize me for "assuming" you haven't made the rule. You told me as much.”

“not shooting a nail gun into the side of your head because it is going to hurt is a common sense item that any one should be able to tell you. (i'm saying "should" because we've all seen the news and there are darwin award candidates)

obviously you haven't cashiered or at least you haven't cashiered in a long time, i'm speaking of more than diddling a cash register, i talking about the whole sales, technical and inventory, etc etc etc, position i held, so yeah, you would need training.

you haven't shared what your job is, but i'm sure i'd need training for it as well.

now, there is no training for parenting, it's strictly OJT. but here's a major kicker, what works for one child, will not work for the next child. in fact, what works for one child one day, may not work the next day. you have to be creative and you have to be flexible. you have to be able to read your child and respond accordingly. a child is not a static item.

you sound, and go ahead and correct me if i'm reading you wrong, but you sound as if you see it as a math problem to be solved. 1+1 always equaling 2. well kids aren't like that. you can read all the books you want and apply all the common sense you like, but child A is different from child B who is different from child C who is different from child D. each of these children will respond differently to problem X and you just cannot go applying 12y to everyone of them and expect the same result. This is why only parents understand and can offer useful tried and true advice to other parents.

Only parents have a freaking clue what parents are going through. Everyone else sounds like this, "blah blah blah blah blah blah. . ." So the sooner you realize that the better.

If you haven't raised at least one child, (and really one is too easy), you have nothing concrete to offer me or any other parent here, everything you say on child raising will be pure speculation on your part. I'm not being cruel mind you, it's just a fact.”

“If you haven't raised at least one child, (and really one is too easy), you have nothing concrete to offer me or any other parent here, everything you say on child raising will be pure speculation on your part. I'm not being cruel mind you, it's just a fact.

Here's are more facts. Not math problems. Not things you have to be a parent to know.

MySpace is full of sexual material. MySpace is full of sexual predators. Same with the internet in general. Children can easily, in a matter of seconds, find all of this, on purpose, and by accident - unless they are completely monitored, or completely forbidden to use the computer.

If you want to hear that as "blah blah blah blah blah blah", that's your mistake.”

“Hever have a battle of intellect with an unarmed person.”

“maybe if you had boobs id be nicer to you
last edited: 11/16/07 10:57:57 PM”
crash bang
10:56:36 PM
11/16/07.



LMFAO”

“Hey Everyone,
Thinkbubelz's (aka Eric) band is having their first gig on November 30 & December 1st!!!

They are a cover band and playing lots of great music... :-) We would love to have some of the Michigan folks (or anyone who likes to have a good time rocking out to a live band) come out and see them play...

We also need to expand our friends list on myspace, so please stop by their myspace page and check them out... (we'd love to have you on our friend list!!! :-)

Please stop by and say hi!!! ;-)

Pinkbubelz (aka Iris)”

“Jefferson Airplane covers?     < VBG >”

“Pamela dont let sarge bother you. He has no idea of what he is talking about and only posts to get attention. I seriously doubt that he could even raise a child for 18 years much less see it married to some unworthy loser. Then again I doubt he is an adult himself.

You have been a good parent to your children So never doubt or appologise for what you have done. Good luck.

(After 3 children I sometimes wonder why I signed up for six more years.....)”

“Hey Chili, LOL!

Yeah Lumberjack, and thank you. It actually doesn't bother me at all because I am so right and he is so wrong. I do know he has no idea how to raise a child, I am just trying to get him to see it. I think I'll give up on him, he's obviously living over the rainbow with his rose colored glasses. Everyone who is childless thinks their words are golden and would work if only given a shot. They may be well meaning but they are entirely clueless and will be until they have children of their own on which to practice what they preach. There is a saying that you are not truly an adult until you have a child of your own. I think that for a lot of people, this has a sound basis in reality.

What do you mean you signed up for six more years?”

“Just a hunch, but this quote might be apropos:

To argue with a person who has renounced the use of reason is like administering medicine to the dead. ~Thomas Paine”

“LOL @ Ruby! You just can't argue with someone who won't see that they haven't a leg to stand on.

I don't tell a doctor how to dx or a surgeon how to operate, even though I've seen plenty of medical shows and read lots of books. Whatever I might hazard would be my best guestimate only and could quite possibly produce dangerous results. When my friends ask me something medical I tell them that and refer them to a doctor.

I expect the same courtesy from the childless.”

““I expect the same courtesy from the childless.”

Unfortunately, you're dealing with the clueless.”

“i guess so”

“Pam, the personal insults are unnecessary. There are millions of parents who believe that there kids should not be on the internet unsupervised, and especially MySpace. If you disagree, fine. That doesn't mean you know better.”

“I just did a quick search and found Jewish organizations, police departments, the BBC, a task force against crimes against children, ... there are even companies who devote departments to creating software that sells to millions of people to assist in supervision - all saying either NEVER leave your children unsupervised, or have a software/parental combination of supervision at all times. And that was just a search in less than 60 seconds.

But, I'm just an ass hole and you're parent of the year.”

“Everyone who is childless thinks their words are golden and would work if only given a shot.

Except in this case, I know a lot of parents who do this. It's not hypothetical. The majority of our friends are of high IQ and have well behaved, well loved, very happy kids. But, you think they're idiots. I've never seen them online #&%!$ing about their kids, AND their husbands. Maybe you need to check your thoughts on who has a clue. This is a legitimate discussion, yet you turned it into a personal fight.

Reminds me of all the people disappointed they sent their money to rebuild New Orleans. I was just such a mean person for saying it would be money better spent elsewhere. MILLIONS completely wasted, but I was just a meanie. Yeah, right.

Are there any adults on this forum who actually think opposing viewpoints are worth debating without assuming if somebody has an idea different that their trolling or an ass hole? What a bunch of babies on here.
last edited: 11/17/07 4:34:51 PM”