Blame Canada!

“well, tonights my last night in my home country. wont be back until 7 weeks later. maybe ill be brainwashed and come back as a canadian spy”

“no you will come back saying "ay?"

my two sisters and my mother said that all my life and I still say that LOL”

“thats because youre a D.O.R.K.”

“You are missing one physical component that is absolutely mandatory if one is to be brainwashed.”

“well yes :)~”

“gullibility?”

“please dont make me look up words in the dictionary. not fair ya know!!!


it is to late for this heavy stuff!!!”

“35 people in my house for the night -all is well at the momemt.12- 12 -packs plus lots of wine.”

“Happy Birthday to all Canadians on this forum.”

“Have fun up there and eat some gravy fries for me.”

“Don't drive too fast, eh, and make sure you get enough Canadian doh-lers for the ballet.”

“I was beginning to wonder if anybody was going to remember our birthday this year”

“im almost outta here. gonna shut the pc down now, and do a final check to see if i got everything. be talkin to you suckahs from the great white north, soon”

“Have fun!”

“its hot as fck up here! what happened to the great white north? where are the polar bears? where are the eskimo girls in bikinis?
last edited: 7/03/06 9:14:43 AM”

“Polar bears went south too Illaskya.”

“

Hummmmmmmmmmmmm...........
This where D.O.R.K. got her old name? ;-)
last edited: 7/03/06 11:56:15 AM”

“Looks like overweight Americans can fix their problem by going to Canada. Turns out that a large portion of Canada has less gravity than the rest of North America. (Or the overweights can just blame Canada for their problem, since Americans like to shift blame so much - thus the use of this thread.)

http://space.newscientist.com/article/dn11826-satellites-solve-mystery-of-low-gravity-over-canada.html”

“typical american culture. hogging all the gravity”

“Canada's experiencing a post-glacial rebound of ~12 millimetres per year? It's like a freakin' trampoline up there!”

“LOL I am blaming it on the French influence.”

“Canadah can stick it.”

“Global warming is all their fault! ;D

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,313844,00.html”

“Well ofcourse....who really cares if the Canadians are ticked off...(LOL)”

““Well ofcourse....who really cares if the Canadians are ticked off..


Watch it there eh ! we beat yah once,we can do it again....your all just jealous because we have more ice and snow then you do.

PS:besides we`ve been planning the take over of Florida for years...those old looking snowbirds that head to Florida every year for the winter are really highly trained covert operatives trained by
the British SAS...Soon Florida will be ours and then the World !....(evil laugh)”

“Hell they've already taken over part of Upstate NY. Bilingual signs, Canadian flags flying at most gas stations”

“Canada geese takes down U.S airline over Manhattan. No one other then the 2 goose died in the water landing. Geese association says they are not part of any terrorist groups....”

“LOL, eh?”

“Andy Samberg on SNL ----

It was just like "Top Gun"..... A plane went down and a Goose died."”

“That's true...I had forgotten about that. heh heh”

“I always knew those no good Canadians were up to something.”

“......and they crap everywhere.”

“Guilty, eh?”

“Somebody's goose is cooked.”

“So, that's what was found in the engine?”

“I am guessing a s'load of water and mud”

“Mmmm, roast goose. What sucks is the local grocery wants $11 per pound for a goose that's been sitting in the frozen section since early November. Bleah.”

“Jeez...don't the grocer do the FIFO routine....First In First Out...? He should've a discount on his perishables after 1 or 2 weeks.”

“They found feathers in the engines....”

“Goose down...

'32oz”

“LOL.....”

“Homeless on the runway in down bags- probably bankers that couldn't set up a TARP.”

“Perhaps those homeless bankers would fare better in the high desert.

They could get buy on less down.”

“TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN BRITISH COLUMBIA

1. Vancouver: 1.5 million people and two bridges. You do the math.

2. Your $400,000 Vancouver home is just 5 hours from downtown.

3. You can throw a rock and hit three Starbucks locations.

4. There's always some sort of deforestation protest going on.

5. Weed.


TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ALBERTA

1. Big rock between you and B.C.

2. Ottawa who?

3. Tax is 5% instead of the approximately 200% it is for the rest of the country.

4. You can exploit almost any natural resource you can think of.

5. You live in the only province that could actually afford to be its own country.

6. The Americans below you are all in anti-government militia groups.


TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN SASKATCHEWAN

1. You never run out of wheat.

2. Your province is really easy to draw.

3. You can watch the dog run away from home for hours.

4. People will assume you live on a farm.



TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN MANITOBA

1. You wake up one morning to find that you suddenly have a beachfront property.

2. Hundreds of huge, horribly frigid lakes.

3. Nothing compares to a wicked Winnipeg winter.

4. You can be an Easterner or a Westerner depending on your mood.

5. You can pass the time watching trucks and barns float by.


TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ONTARIO

1. You live in the centre of the universe.

2. Your $400,000 Toronto home is actually a dump.

3. You and you alone decide who will win the federal election.

4. The only province with hard-core American-style crime.


TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN QUEBEC

1. Racism is socially acceptable.

2. You can take bets with your friends on which English neighbour will move out next.

3. Other provinces basically bribe you to stay in Canada.

4. You can blame all your problems on the 'Anglo *#!%!'


TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEW BRUNSWICK

1. One way or another, the government gets 98% of your income.

2. You're poor, but not as poor as the Newfies.

3. No one ever blames anything on New Brunswick .

4. Everybody has a grandfather who runs a lighthouse.


TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NOVA SCOTIA

1. Everyone can play the fiddle. The ones who can't, think they can.

2. You can pretend to have Scottish heritage as an excuse to get drunk and wear a kilt.

3. You are the only reason Anne Murray makes money.


TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN PRINCE EDWARD ISLAND

1. Even though more people live on Vancouver Island, you still got the big, new bridge.

2. You can walk across the province in half an hour.

3. You can drive across the province in two minutes.

4. Everyone has been an extra on 'Road to Avonlea.'

5. This is where all those tiny, red potatoes come from.

6. You can confuse ships by turning your porch lights on and off at night.


TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEWFOUNDLAND

1. If Quebec separates, you will float off to sea.

2. If you do something stupid, you have a built-in excuse.

3. The workday is about two hours long.

4. It is socially acceptable to wear your hip waders to your wedding.”

“TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN CANADA

1. Too Cowardly to commit suicide

2. It beats living in the North East

3. Beer

4. Aye.”

“Kleetn lives in Seattle, which, along with the UP (Tarabull and Nonconformist), upstate New York (Lumberzac) and all of Vermont were annexed by us years ago.

Kleetn, you're not supposed to tell all our secrets.

LMAO, BTW.”

“I blame Canada for DORK.”