A**HOLE

“Friday, Sept 8. Dinnertime.

The #&%!$ won't stop knocking. Dani finally agrees to allow me to answer it. It's gonna be the same old fight. the #&%!$tard thinks because he bought the building he can come over anytime to "take measurements". Forget the numerous building code violations. He just wants us out so he can convert to Condos. #&%!$head has never asked for rent or for a new lease. he refuses to go through our lawyer. So we don't let him in, ever. That's our right. Today he came by with a letter:

"This is to notify you that the keys to the main building and the respective units will be changed by the owner of the building, John #&%!$tard, on 9/11/06. If you are not tresspassing and you are a legal tenant, you may pick up a set of keys from the Landlord's attorney at the address below:"

In effect an attempt at intimidation and wrongful eviction. I read it and then went ballistic. John #&%!$tard is at least 6', 250-300, of African descent. I was in his face screeming at him and jabbing my finger in his face. Much to Dani's amusement, the Man started to cower. :p

This was not the first letter threatening to change the locks. we also got an illegal "notice to vacate" letter from the #&%!$tard. he always comes over on the weekend after hours. One time it was Easter Sunday. I want to do this man some harm.

Dani sent me away, afraid I was gonna smack him and started to talk to him. That accomplished nothing of course. A letter off to the Lawyer and we sat. Unsure if we wanted to sweat this out anymore.

Saturday Morning our Lawyer emailed us back screaming bloody murder, threatening a wrongful eviction suit.

Monday Morning. We don't have to wait long. To large Men come out of a fan with drills. Followed by #&%!$tard. I tell Dani to call 911 and head out the door. I tell the Men to step away, the cops are on the way. they have no idea whats going on but decide it would be best to go back to the truck. Dani, on the phone, reports that some men are breaking into our building using drills. :D

First cop car shows up in minutes. A second one a few minutes later. Long story short - we allow him to change the front door lock to the building. That is his right. The cops wait until its done and see that we get keys.

We've been fighting for this place since August 2005. This #&%!$tard has owned the building since last March. Unfortunately for us, he owns no other buildings in DC. It's the one loophole in rent control laws. We can't win.

Over the weekend we found a place. Deeper in the 'hood, not yet gentrified.”

“Gonna have a house-warming party?”

“sorry about ya troubles b.m., at first i thought this thread was about me.”

“We should have a house going away party. I'm sure we'll never get the deposit back.

And I was surprised there wasn't a general #&%!$ thread on TT. Hopefully this will have plenty of uses. :D
last edited: 9/11/06 8:21:34 PM”

“what criteria did he not meet to kick you out legally?”

“what criteria did he not meet to kick you out legally?

Needs cause. In DC you cannot kick out tenants just because you want to. You can't even get rid of a squatter without a court order eviction which in itself is a 3mo. process.

The best way to explain DC tenent law:

"You pay, you stay."”

“put shrimp inside all the openings in walls and ceilings you can find(Heater vents are a great place to start, just rip a hole in a plastic baggie and the shove the baggie way back out of sight).....(while you are in the walls...stick a straight pin through the TV cable in an out of the way place...it shorts the service..then clip it off with snips or a large toenail cutter on both sides of the cable to make it hard to find, and jerk hard on the phone lines...)

don't forget to loosen all the fittings around pipe joints, just so they leak SLOWLY...

a nice thick mix of plaster of Paris in the drains...

Remove the screws from all the hinges of doors (Include the cabinet doors in the kitchen)and enlarge the holes enough so all the doors drag...(Hint: be sure to wallow out the holes so they are wider on the INSIDE of the door frame...it's harder to fix...)

Liquid nails inside the interior door handle mechanisms, then on the screws before you reinstall the knobs...(Actually, liquid nails on ALL Screws...AND INSIDE the switch plates, electrical outlets...strip the screws and screw hole threads and just glue them back on.....)

Muriatic acid (Used to clean driveways- Home Depot)in the Bathtub shower stall...lightly swipe the surface with a brush...

Ever hear of Acid Etching? Used to etch GLASS with designs like vines, flowers etc...find a Michaels or a Hobby Lobby,buy a glass jar of the acid used for etching (Pay cash) and using a nice fine brush, etch your feelings into the glass window/door panes....be very carefull not to leave any clue as to who might have done such a thing.....

Just a few thoughts...use your own imagination, just make the rennovations more expensive than he expects.....
last edited: 9/12/06 8:05:32 AM”

“Too much work. Just post a sign out front that says, "Sarge died here."”

“I like the way you think, ST. I was thinking ground beef but shrimp might be way better...”

“I'd be careful. I don't know about dc, but in CO the landlord can sue you for the extra charges in repairing the apartment, above your damage deposit. that would suck.”

“Just don't burn the joint, Fire Marshall XL would kick you butt!!

”

“papa - the original landlord basically skipped town. This prick bought it at auction and has been in our apt once for about 10 minutes taking "measurements" before we decided he needed to go.

We alone have paid for mowing the lawn and the water bill for the entire building. We alone have been paying rent into an escrow account. The other tenents have been squatting.

The building has not been inspected in over two years.

Who knows whats wrong with it?”

“I'd eat that shrimp first, but i'm a veg. dude.”

“A really funky substance is fish bait, the kind that comes in a frozen package labelled, "Not For Human Consumption".

Let that mellow in a sealed jar for two months or more and then unleash it's power.”

“Just pour a bottle of this throughout the place before you leave.
[img]
http://ec1.images-amazon.com/images/P/B0001LE49Q.01-AT39QKIE0XGB7._SCMZZZZZZZ_.jpg[/img]


It also gets rid of squirrels.”

“That link is messed up.”

“I like the Urine idea. thanks.

What really bugs us is this guy is not the brightest bulb and odds are he won't own the building long. It has 3.5 Floors. Gonna take major renovations to convert it into a 4 Unit Condo. He bought it for $800,000 in March. Two years ago he might have gotten 300K for each Unit. The market is Supersaturated.

It has 2 full 1 bedroom apartment with flats (6 rooms) on the 3rd and 4th floor. They share one kitchen and 2 full baths. Renting you might get $5400/month if the place is full. He would still need to invest in order to get the building fully rentable again.

Seems like a Money Pit, no?”

“would the urine scare away rats?”

““would the urine scare away rats?”
bearmagnet
3:21:30 PM
9/13/06

Probably.

If you go the urine route, DON'T INHALE THE FUMES. The scent will make you want to vomit.”

“But I want to attract rats!”

“See if Spirit Coyote will sell ya a few rats.”

“Our lawyer just settled our case:

We have 30 days to vacate. No money due to the new owner. We get our 14 months of rent in escrow minus our lawyers fees.

I guess it's a semi-victory.

We move this Sunday”

“Where you going dude....I would offer the Farm at the lake but I have a grieving family there for a few days of escape.”

“Congrads on the semi-victory!
Way better than a semi-loss. ;-)”

“Thanks xl. We're going about two miles east of where we are now. :D

excellent point ss. And we are so relieved that its over.”

“You get to move out of your dangerous neighborhood. That's a complete victory IMHO.”

“I think he said they were moving deeper into the ghetto, Nigal.”

“LOL! Yes, deeper in. But our current location is a block away from Cordoza High School. There's a shooting on or near campus almost every week so we might be safer.

But our rent is going up 350/month.
last edited: 9/26/06 6:22:12 PM”

“So much for gun control, eh? [joking]”