Lewinsky Mulls 08 Run as Alternative to Hillary

“Lewinsky Mulls '08 Run
Former White House Intern Offers Self as Alternative to Hillary
By: Andy Borowitz
Published: Sep 22, 2006 at 07:18

In a development that could drastically alter the playing field of the race for the Democratic presidential nomination, former White House intern Monica Lewinsky confirmed today that she was considering making a bid for the Democratic nod in 2008.

According to those familiar with her political plans, Ms. Lewinsky plans to offer herself as an alternative to the presumptive frontrunner in the race, Sen. Hillary Clinton (D-New York).

Rumors of Ms. Lewinsky's intentions spread like wildfire this week when the erstwhile intern made a series of stops in New Hampshire, location of the nation's first presidential primary.

Wearing a midnight blue cocktail dress, Ms. Lewinsky drew large crowds across the state, suggesting that she could be a real threat to Ms. Clinton in a head-to-head race.

"Voters are worn out from George Bush, Iraq and the war on terror," said Democratic voter Jayson Tenzer, who attended one of Ms. Lewinsky's New Hampshire rallies. "Monica Lewinsky means good times."

According to Professor Davis Logsdon of the political science department at the University of Minnesota, offering herself as an alternative to Sen. Clinton could be a successful strategy for Ms. Lewinsky: "It's worked before."

And while some Democratic insiders worry that Ms. Lewinsky lacks the political know-how to be President of the United States, Professor Logsdon does not share those concerns: "Monica Lewinsky has actually had more experience in the Oval Office than Hillary Clinton has."

Elsewhere, one day after President Hugo Chavez appeared at the United Nations and called him "Satan," President Bush said, "I think he has me mixed up with Cheney."


http://www.yubanet.com/artman/publish/article_42604.shtml

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What a sucker punch to Hillary's campaign! She'll just have to swallow her pride, and work hard on her fund raising, but don't worry, I'm sure this will all blow over soon.”

“I do think she would suck as a president.”

“Sounds like it might be a mess campaign.”

“Look for a late night spurt in her polling.”

“Monica Lewinsky confirmed today that she was considering making a bid for the Democratic nod in 2008.

suggesting that she could be a real threat to Ms. Clinton in a head-to-head race.”

“...offering herself as an alternative to Sen. Clinton could be a successful strategy for Ms. Lewinsky: "It's worked before."”

“And she has a proven ability to excite members of the Democratic party.”

“Though some critics note that she has only paid lip service to Democratic principals.

Others pointed out that Lewinsky's record was hardly spotless.
last edited: 9/25/06 9:17:48 PM”

“LOL”

“Will that woman, Ms. Lewinsky, be 35 years old by 2008?”

“So, she wants to be Head of State (as opposed to head of head of state).”

“LOL....

This is Walter Cronkite with the first of three debates between candidate Hillary Clinton who swore she would not leave her Senate Position, and Monica Lewinski who has never turned down a position.

Test #1. You have a golf ball and 10 feet of garden hose.

Test #2. You have a Diesel Big rig to start......”

“lonesurveyor, I've read she will be 35 by '08

(Dude, it's a joke thread, not real)”

“Heck she was taking Dictation when she was barely legal...why not run for Head Job at her age.”

“i can hear one of her speaches

"I did not have sex with that man, Mr. Clinton"”

“So they say Monica will be 35 by '08.....

My how time flies....

It seems like just yesterday that she was crawling around on the White House floor.”

“Will she wear a blue dress for her inauguration?”

“Bill Clinton had "Don't stop thinking about tomorrow" as is campaign theme song. Monica would need an uptempo song, too.

If she could substitute "Monica" for "Molly" this would be perfect, though the song is older than she is:

http://www.jacquedee63.com/devilinabluedress.html
Warning music plays loud on this site.

Or, maybe if she can go by the nickname "Mony" she could use:
http://www.energyexpressband.com/lyrics/wedding%20lyrics%20billy%20idol%20mony%20mony.htm

Bill could play seax.”

“She would consume more cigars than U.S. Grant.”

“LOL...did you ever see the interview with her where she complained that every guy she was dating pretty much wanted a MONICA...LOL...Heck hun, when I go to Baskin Robbins I ain't looking for Chicken.

We need to thank the CLEENTON admin for the advances they taught us.
1. Only tramps Get Raped. So who cares.
2. If you are a much older man and doink a girl about your daughter's age its not such a big deal.
3. Women are really only good for carrying the fluid to the john.
4. Lying is okay if it is something that will embarrass you.
5. Any time a woman and you are alone is the right time to make a move. She best lay back and enjoy it or she better get some ice to put on the bruises.
last edited: 9/27/06 1:33:25 PM”