You know you're a conservative when ...

“you ask somebody what that macrame spider webby looking this is hanging from their rear-view mirror and they say it's a "dream catcher" and your reaction is like that dude from Napolean Dynamite ... "I don't understand a word you just said."”

“huh???”

“Some conservatives have a lot of Native American blood and do know quite well what a "dream catcher" is. ;-)”

“What prompted this bit of non-sequitor?”

“Isn't that the name of a Stephen King noval?”

“I would say you know it when you are able to walk up to someone down on their luck and say.

Buddy I know its tough, but I know you can get out of it. Let me help you work yourself out of it.”

“... and take that stupid dream catcher off from around your neck. You're embarassing yourself.”

“
Buddy I know its tough, but I know you can get out of it. Let me help you work yourself out of it

so THAT'S why conservatives typically cut funding for public education :D

its all starting to make sense.
last edited: 9/28/06 1:07:09 PM”

“Government education is a clearinghouse for incompetence...it is the UNION of education. We consistently spend more and more and the results keep dropping faster than Clinton's pants at a Junior Highschool dance.

If Government Schools are so good...why do a majority of the teachers send their kids to Private Schools?

mjw leafs to the Liberal Socialist handbook page.....”

“I don't know about the schools near you, but I know my kids are learning subjects several years before I did: reading in kindergarten, geometry in 4th grade. Public education near me is really quite remarkable.”

“But back to the topic, here are a few more:

1 Your house plants are alive, and you can’t smoke any of them.
2 Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question.
3 You hear your favorite song on an elevator.
4 You watch the Weather Channel.”

“You are so afraid of change, of rocking the boat, that you refuse to even dip your paddle in the water.

There you sit playing it safe staring up-stream wondering what that increasingly louder roar is behind you as you drift back closer and closer to the brink of the waterfall.”

“Rev..what state? IF they are so great why do we consistently have to warn third world countries we are dropping in test scores..(Look out Mongolia, here we come)”

“mjwMcRetard must have forgot that Bush passed the single largest funding for education in history.









And grades are still not going up!”

“Nigal...but we still need to pour more money into the system. (LOL) in the real world you find the problem and solve it.”

“When your ideas work everytime they are tried.”

“You know you're dreamin'..........

La-la-la-la”

“quick, get a dream catcher!”

“I'm sorry, I am a dedicated centrist, but I can't help myself. besides, XL would appear to have declared himself my sworn enemy. (Apparently, a mullet in high school scars one for life). So...

[b}“When your ideas work everytime they are tried.”[/b] like...
\
Laise Faire capitalism = Great Depression
Theocracy = Salem Mass. (burning witches, for XL)
No social programs = permanent underclass
No public education = see above
Attacking a country entirely unrelated to terrorism= more terrorists
Setting aside Habeus corpus = The ability of one man to make ANYONE disappear, for ANY reason (or for NO reason), permanently, INCLUDING AMERICAN CITIZENS!!!!!!!”

“

Man found in public bathroom with blow-up doll gets arrested

A Cedar Rapids man was arrested Wednesday afternoon after police said he was found in a compromising position with an inflatable doll in a public restroom.

At 12:47 p.m., Craig S. McCullough, 47, 828 Eighth Ave. SW, was found lying on the floor in a bathroom inside the Hach building, 401 First St. Se, by a U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement agent, according to the official complaint filed against him.

According to the criminal complaint, the man had his pants down “lying next to an anatomically correct inflatable doll.”

The U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement agency has an office in the Hach Building. Special Agent David Hoagland, who found McCullough, could not comment on the incident.

McCullough remained in the Linn County Jail Thursday afternoon on a misdemeanor charge of indecent exposure.

McCullough was convicted in 2004 of burglarizing Just For Me bridal boutique, 709 Third Ave. SE. Officers found him in a nearby alley carrying a mannequin wearing a bridal dress shortly after the burglary occurred.

http://www.gazetteonline.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20071025/NEWS/71025009”

“Its a good thing we have conservatives like that immigration officer around to stop the perversions of those liberals with their blow up dolls.”

“Scooped ya!”

“A Princeton University student who claimed he was beaten unconscious by two assailants after receiving death threats for his morally conservative views admitted yesterday to fabricating the attack and sending the e-mail death threats to himself, other students, and a prominent conservative professor, police officials said.
[...]
Mr. Nava, 23, is a politics major and a junior at Princeton who this semester has become an outspoken member of the Anscombe Society, a morally conservative student group that speaks out against same-sex marriage and pre-marital sex. Mr. Nava claimed that he has been receiving death threats since October after penning a column in the student newspaper, the Daily Princetonian, criticizing the university's campaign to distribute free condoms on campus as "tacit sponsorship of hookup sex." On Friday, he claimed he was attacked by two black-clad assailants and rendered unconscious after they repeatedly hit his head against a brick wall.

http://www.nysun.com/article/68210”

“When christian nutbags feel like they're not being persecuted enough, they go out and fabricate it.”

“Words of wisdom, Mutt.”

“WOW...shall we revise this with the HILARIOUS list of libbies and Lefties who have claimed the NEOCONS are watching them?

Blackhelicopters anyone?”

“XL: I can't imagine Mutt would mind putting them in the "nutbag" category, too. Or are they "scumbags?"”

“Why you looking for a date?”

“Nutcase, even the club he was in thought that.”

“You know you're a neoconliberalative when you single answer to any question is libbyleftsilly.”