life changes

“There's lots of you people here I consider friends, so I thought it would be polite to
explain why I've been away and why I won't be around much...

We lost our youngest son in a car accident on Friday Jan 5. He was 17. He was riding in one of his friend’s car, just going around the corner to get gas to ride the 4 wheeler. I was driving home from work and saw at least 10 sets of flashing lights a block off, and I thought, that looks pretty bad. 15 minutes later a sheriff came to the door. His face said everything before he said a word. He encouraged us to get to the ER as quick as possible.
When we got to the hospital they put us in one of the “grief” rooms. The Dr. came in and told us our son had a “significant” head injury. They put him on a helicopter to another hospital nearby in Saginaw, but basically we lost him at the scene of the accident. They kept him on a respirator for a day because we donated his organs, etc. to Gift Of Life of Michigan. They had 5 transplants the day of his death and we think they used his corneas and heart valves later. (There were 4 cars involved, no one else was seriously injured)

I don’t know how we got through those days. I really learned to lean on my friends and family.
His funeral was delayed a little because in our county, accident victims have to get autopsies. His first showing was Wednesday Jan 10. It was much “easier” than I thought it would be. I felt so much better seeing friends and family. Knowing he was liked by so many people…There were hundreds and hundreds of visitors.

His second showing was Thurs Jan 11 and the funeral was Fri Jan 12. I had been feeling a little weird, I thought it was just stress. Thursday it got so bad I wasn’t able to stand. I just dismissed it all as a flu bug, skipped the second showing and stayed home in bed and tried to rest for the funeral Friday. I still feel really bad that I missed so much of the showings, etc.
About 2AM Friday my wife decided to call for an ambulance. I couldn’t get my temperature down or stop shaking, and my right arm and left leg hurt so bad. They thought it was heart related, but in the Emergency Room they were more concerned about the results of the blood tests. I had a blood infection, was anemic, and some proteins were way off.

I stayed in Midland hospital for 8 days of tests. Lots and Lots of tests, and plenty of pain. Towards the end they did a bone marrow biopsy, which confirmed what they had suspected from the beginning; I have Multiple Myeloma, a cancer of the bone marrow.
It’s not curable, but it is treatable. I’ve been home a little over a week now, trying to gather my strength for the treatments coming up.
I chose to go to Univ. of Michigan Medical Center for treatment, and had my first appointment Wed Jan 24. They repeated just about every test I’d had, all in one day.
I start chemotherapy there tomorrow Tues Jan 30. If I can handle it, I’ll be done sometime in June. Then I’ll probably need a bone marrow transplant.

It probably sounds corny but I’ll say it anyway – Live every day as if it’s your last, and love those around you.”

“Sorry to hear about your loss, my prayers are with you and yours. My cousin's 15 year old son died 2 years ago and they donated his organs too, I have alot of respect for those of you that do that! Because of my cousins donation it saved one life that they know of and probably more.”

“I'm sorry. Losing a child is one of the hardest events to deal with, then having to deal with cancer on top of that -- I can only imagine what you are going through. I hope you have friends and family to help you through this very difficult time. Keep in mind the good things that make life worth living, and fight hard to get back to them. Good luck.”

“My gosh, LS!!!!!!! I am so sorry for your loss of your son as well as for your diagnosis. I wish you strength and patience and understanding. Is there anything any of us can do to help you or your wife or the rest of your family?”

“I'm sorry.
I can't imagine your pain.
It is just wrong for a child to go before his parents.”

“Le Subtil, I am so, so sorry to hear all this. I don't know what to say, except I'll be thinking about you, and hoping for the best.”

“Craig, I am so sorry to hear about your son. You and Penny and the other kids are in my prayers and thoughts. My heart aches for your loss.

Try and stay positive with your treatment. You're young and healthy and you have many more miles to hike! I have an uncle who has been living with non-curable brain cancer for about six years now, and he's in better shape than when he started his treatments. He actually is excercising and traveling, etc.

Life is something else isn't it? What a double whammy. Wish I could give you a hug. XO. Please don't hesitate to let us know if there's anything we can do to help. If you're doing treatments down here you and the fam are always welcome at our house.
last edited: 1/29/07 11:07:10 AM”

“you and your family are in my thoughts.
last edited: 1/29/07 11:08:03 AM”

“You will be in my thoughts - I cannot imagine what you've been going through.”

“I am at a loss for words...

I hope and pray that you and your family will get through these rough times quickly.”

“Very sorry, my thoughts are with you and your family.”

“I am so very so sorry, Craig. If there is anything, and I mean anything, we can do, please let me know.”

“I can't even imagine the pain of losing a child. And then to find out about the cancer. Craig, I will be thinking about you and your family during this very difficult time. Be strong.”

“Oh Craig, I'm so sorry to hear about all of this. You and your family will be in my prayers. I don't know what else to say, other than I hope we (this board) can provide you some emotional support.”

“I am so sorry. I wish there was a way I could help you with your load. If there is anything I can do, please let me know.”

“My heart has sunken and I don't know what to say. Know that thoughts and energy are being sent your way. Nothing, I know would be enough.

If there is anything I can do.”

“I am very sad hearing your news. My condolences go to you and your family and my prayers include all of you, too.”

“Horribly sad.

God help you all.

Doug”

“Unimaginable, yes.

We're sending those positive thoughts up your way --”

“I'm so sorry. My condolences to you & your family.”

“I'm sorry to hear this, terrible news. But I wish you the best for your treatment.”

“My thoughts and prayers are with you.”

“I can't imagine how this feels, Craig.

Good thoughts for you and your family.”

“Le Subtil, I'm so very sorry for the loss of your son. I am friends with a person who lost a son. She and her husband have slowly gotten through it. In another town close by, a family lost a daughter last year. My friend says that father has found them to be an immense help, being able to talk to someone who has actually been through what they went through -- as opposed to people who try their best to help you and have good intentions, but when all is said and done can only TRY to put themselves in your shoes. I pray you can find some solace in people you, too, can talk to.

And to your other news, positive thoughts! Take on life with a vengeance and plan to beat it!

Thoughts and prayers of comfort are going your way.”

“im floored and i barely know you, subby. my heart goes out for you.

it will get better”

“I cannot imagine what you're going through. Thoughts and prayers to you and yours.”

“Don't even know what to say.

You'll be in my thoughts and prayers.”

“Prayer said, your burden is felt.

Will you need help financially for the treatments, or for costs related to your son? Money doesn't heal, but it can help - I'm sure we can rally the troops here if you think that will help?”

“my thoughts are with you and your family.”

“No amount of platitudes are really enough to convey what I'm feeling for you right now Craig. Even though you and I have had our tiffs here I do hope you know you have my deepest sympathies for your loss and my most fervent prayers for you healing both physical and in your grief.

May Hashem keep you and bless you and your family.”

“Crying for your pain, praying for peace in your soul and recovery in your body.

Love and hugs to you and your family.”

“When my parents lost their son (my brother) around 4.5 years ago (can't believe it's been that long!), they did feel like it was the worst thing that could possibly happen to them. But even though they'll never "get over" it, it is true that as time goes by, you'll come to terms with it more...you can be happy again! Even though it may not seem like it right now.

And what techntrek said...if there's anything we can do financially, we'd be glad to!”

“Wow. I wish you and your family the strength you'll need to get through these tough times.

"It probably sounds corny but I’ll say it anyway – Live every day as if it’s your last, and love those around you.”
le Subtil
10:39:18 AM
1/29/07
ignore this user

Good advice.”

“le subtil - in case it is a while before you get back around here and you miss the thread I started on this, please see this link. I'm hopeful this will be the big breakthrough so many have been waiting for. We lost my mother-in-law to lung cancer 4 years ago and I wish this was around for a trial back then. Maybe you can investigate getting into a study group.

http://www.newscientist.com/channel/health/mg19325874.700-cheap-safe-drug-kills-most-cancers.html”

“le Subtil - If you need any bone marrow, you're welcome to some of mine.”

“Oh Jesus. I didn't get through your whole post, LS. Had to reread after techs post on another thread. Sorry i'm an idiot. If no ones mentioned it and if you need help, including donations, go to The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society. They helped me tremendously and were there for my fund raiser.

http://www.leukemia-lymphoma.org/hm_lls

and there's a Multiple Myeloma Research Foundation:

http://www.multiplemyeloma.org/

Stay strong and positive and you'll kick its ass!”

“My heart goes out to you on your son.
And I'm so terribly sorry to hear about your diagnosis. You have a long road ahead of you (chemo, etc) but you are such a strong person! I'll be thinking of you and your family.”

“le Subtil, I'm sorry for your loss and it was painful just reading that.

If you need anyone to talk to about a bone marrow transplant feel free to email me. I had one in 1998 for a bone marrow cancer, myleodysplasia to be more specific. I had most of the same symptoms you just described. My transplant went well and eradicated the cancer. You can beat this type of cancer and get back to doing everything you did before.”

“dhutch pretty much nailed my feelings upon reading this. Thoughts and prayers to you and yours. I hope your wife and other children are coping as well. I can't imagine the position that any of you are in.”

“RichB - or anyone. How does that work. Can I for example be tested for a match? How does one become a bone marrow doner?”

“I believe you get tested and then go into a national database.”

“LS, I'm very to hear of your loss. My son is 10 and I can't imagine how I would feel if he were killed. I hope time will heal your wounds, and best wishes in your struggle ahead. You are in my prayers.”

“Craig, I am at a loss for words. May God bless you and your family with comfort and healing.

As Sass said, let us know if you all need a place to crash or visit. If you are up to visitors let us know.

Gods peace man.”

“Thanks bearmagnet!!!”

“le Subtil - My heart goes out to you and your family. We will keep you in our prayers. It is impossible to imagine what you are going through. I hope that knowing you have a lot of people who care and are praying for you provides an ounce of comfort somehow.”

“I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your son. God bless and keep you.”

“
Hang in there, Craig! Anyone with the determination to thru-hike the Superior Trail has got to have a lot of strength going for them!

I am so sorry to hear about your son. My heart aches for you.

My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Cindylu”

“Loss of a child/spouse and loss of health are two of my biggest fears and you get both in one month? Horrifying.

Peace be with you and your family Le Subtil.”

“Am so sorry about your news Le Sebtil.”