Astronaut Gone Bad

“another "major malfunction"!!”

“yea i just saw a pic of shipman in uniform..the first article i read didn't tell her rank...
You know the first space missions had special playboys printed and put into wrist flip books.
We know man has wacked in space..now...giggity giggity giggity!!!!”

“Headline in the N.Y. Post:

"LUST IN SPACE"”

“I am betting on it being the Americans...ever see those RUSSIAN Cosmonauts?????

We had a lady call in and defend Nowac...said (whiney Laqtis voice here) "Well you just don't understand the pressure they are under."

Hey lady..I got an idea...if you can't stand the heat ...GET OUT OF THE FREAKING KITCHEN!.”

“Headline in the N.Y. Post:

"LUST IN SPACE"”
Tilt
5:33:53 AM
2/07/07

Gah!!

Danger Will Oefelein, Danger!!”

“Could her last name, Nowak, be more appropriate?”

“At first I thought that wearing a diaper to drive to FL was totally whacko. But then I realized that astronauts wear stuff like that in their space suits, so it is only partially whacko.”

“"Danger Will Oefelein, Danger!!"


LMAO!”

“CAPE CANAVERAL, Florida (AP) -- What would happen if an astronaut became mentally unstable in space and, say, destroyed the ship's oxygen system or tried to open the hatch and kill everyone aboard?

That was the question after the apparent breakdown of Lisa Nowak, arrested this month on charges she tried to kidnap and kill a woman she regarded as her rival for another astronaut's affections.

It turns out NASA has detailed, written procedures for dealing with a suicidal or psychotic astronaut in space. The documents, obtained this week by The Associated Press, say the astronaut's crewmates should bind his wrists and ankles with duct tape, tie him down with a bungee cord and inject him with tranquilizers if necessary.

http://www.cnn.com/2007/TECH/space/02/23/astronaut.plan.ap/index.html”

“Cool. Just like "Wild Kingdom".”

“I thought it was amusing they carry duct tape and bungee cord on the shuttle. Woooo, high tech.”

“you can fix anything with duck tape”

“I know that you and Frank were planning to disconnect me, and I'm afraid that's something I cannot allow to happen.”

“Duct tape saved Apollo 13.
last edited: 2/24/07 7:45:25 AM”

“".....the astronaut's crew mates should bind his wrists and ankles with duct tape, tie him down with a bungee cord and inject him with tranquilizers if necessary."

Don't forget the diaper.”

“aflac!”

“Daisey, Daisey...”

“
Actually, there's a different song in my head I'm trying to get 'unstuck'. Every time I see this thread, Bad Company cranks up with "Good Astronaut Gone Baaaad...(yeah yeah)"


cue Paul Rogers --

Don't stand in my way
'Cause Baby I'm a Bad... Ass...tronaut

”

“We went to the Smithsonian Air & Space museum yesterday. My 4 year old didn't believe me that astronauts wore diapers. I half expected a big end cap of astronaut diapers in the gift shop but no such luck.

They didn't even have any on display so Laurel said: "See! Only babies wear diapers! If you say astronauts wear diapers again you're going to go on time out and we'll never go to outer space!"

I suppose they are a bit slow, they did put black duct tape over the symbol of Pluto on the entrance to the exploring the planets exhibit but not yet over all the displays inside.”

“Capitalising on diaper sales may take a litle time... At least they're owning up to their heritage of ducttape use.”

“Mar. 7, 2007

David Mould/Bob Jacobs
Headquarters, Washington
202-358-1898/1600

Eileen Hawley/James Rostohar
Johnson Space Center, Houston
281-483-5111

RELEASE: 07-26

STATEMENT REGARDING THE STATUS OF LISA NOWAK

HOUSTON - U.S. Navy Capt. Lisa Nowak's detail as a NASA astronaut has
been terminated, effective March 8, by mutual agreement between NASA
and the U.S. Navy.

Nowak, an active duty naval officer, began her detail with NASA
following selection as a member of the astronaut class of 1996. She
flew one mission, STS-121 in 2006.

NASA requested an end to the detail because the agency lacks the
administrative means to deal appropriately with the criminal charges
pending against Nowak. Because Nowak is a naval officer on assignment
to NASA, rather than a NASA civil servant, she is not subject to
administrative action by NASA.

Nowak will receive her next assignment from the U.S. Navy.

NASA's decision to terminate Nowak's detail does not reflect any
position by NASA on the criminal charges pending in Florida.

Further inquiries concerning Nowak's status and activities should be
directed to the chief of Naval Personnel Public Affairs, (703)
614-2000.


-end-”

“Great, just great, kick the problem to the Navy.”

“Stovey, she's IN the Navy. You know, UCMJ and all that stuff.”

“Well DUH.”

“I'm thinking a job as an undercover agent is pretty much out....I mean she needs some real work on her 'disguises" program.”

“Does this diaper make my butt look big?”

“A Depends spokesperson gig is in her future for sure, LOL.”

“She definitely had some junk in her trunk.”

“I bet she was sooooo glad to see Anna Nichole drop dead and take the spotlight off her.”

“Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned ...”

“Talk about your orbital burn....”