I hate cancer!!!

“I just found out that the lady that I replaced (who retired) has a large tumor on her kidney and they are 95% sure it is malignant (sp?)

As some of you know I lost my step dad to cancer last year and my mother-in-law the year before. To beat the band my step-mom is waiting to find out the results of some test to find out what is wrong with her...cancer is a BIG possibility!!!

It just isn't fair..and don't tell me that life isn't fair and that there is a plan BLAH BLAH BLAH...I'm usually the the first to quote those myself. Right now I just can't understand it!

Sorry for the rant but I just wanted to get it out of my head.”

“:-(”

“sorry....life is what happens when you were planning for something else.”

“no, life is not fair. i'm sorry crazygurl.

prayers,
Pamela”

“Sorry to hear that... cancer is a scary and all too common thing. I am a nurse and I see way too much of it.”

“I'm sorry, CG. Cancer Sucks.”

“I lost 5 friends and family over 5 years to the damn thing, including my mother-in-law. I know what you mean. Prayers to everyone out there fighting it.”

“Thanks all..you are right techntrek I know the answer is prayer..I just hate seeing so many hurt.”

“Yes Cancer sucks. Sorry about your friends struggle crazygurl.

My favorit aunt is struggle with some nasty and aggressive cancer right now.”

“Cancer makes you reassess every single thing you think you believe about "Life, the Universe and Everything!"

I haven't been backpacking because I've been trying to help take care of a loved one who is terminal :(. Cancer dramatically affects not only those directly impacted by a diagnosis, but everyone else who knows or cares about that person. I wish this upon no-one.”

“CG I am sorry to hear about your friend. When something like this happens like it did me several years ago, now my question to God was why me I do not deserve this but then I got to thinking no one else does either. So enjoy life while you are young and have good health. When we are young health is the furtherest thing from our mind, so enjoy life while we can we never know what tomorrow will bring”

“Hey Wanderer - I'm sorry to hear its struck so hard, so close to your life. I'm wishing you and yours every comfort and blessing as you face this.”

“Sorry CG, I was moved at my job to replace a co-worker with bone cnacer, feel bad about it myself, keep hoping she'll be back.

Take care.”

“Sorry, crazygurl. I sure dislike seeing such a nice and beautiful girl as you are, so unhappy. Coming into my thoughts is, "The bell tolls."”

“f!ck cancer”

“Cancer is one of the shadows that remind us about the fragility of life.

Even though i'm still young i've seen my share of it (my brother lost his father to it and during my civil service i was stationed in a hospital on the cancer station).

As far as i can tell there are several stations one goes through: Fear, Neglect, Depression and Acceptance.

Fear is the natural reaction when the suspicion that it might be cancer is being said. nothing wrong with that and i;m sure pressing my thumbs for all people in that sitation that it proves to be a false alarm.

Neglect is something most ppl experience as well. That moment when you aret old what it is and the thought of how they probably mixed upr esult with another person or made some other kind of error as long as it is not us are racing through our minds. But the fact remains and we have t accept it sooner or later.

Depression comes when neglecting it doesnt work. The moment we know our days are counted everything start to turn glloomy and ill omens are everywhere reminding us of our own mortality.

Acceptance is finally the last step, sadly not all make it to it and some get stuck in the steps prior to this. You know what you have, you know what you can do against it and how your chances are. You know your days are counted but noone lives forever, the difference is you have a rough estimate. When you accept your sickness as part of your life you will be able to laugh again and enjoy these days that have been given to you as a gift in the first place again.

During my civil service i met many people with cancer in many different stages of their sickness from beginning till the very end. It sure as hell isnt pleasant but nothing is gained from getting yourself sucked down by it. Remaining a positive attitude towards life is important since it becomes a bigger chance to beat cancer (as far as i experienced it) even though there are no medical studies to prove it.”

“I'm starting a new job taking care of the terminally ill so I'll probably end up hating also. I ordered a few books on death, dying and caring for the terminally ill to try and get a better perspective on it. I have no problem with death and dying but the pain and grief it causes others is going to be the hard part.”

“piece of advice: learn how to keep your emotional space.

If you can't manage that this job will eat you from the inside. Glad i only had to do it for 10 months since i'm too much of a caring person normally.”

“Hey Nigal, I have a friend (former employee) who took a leave to take care of her Mom when she was diagnosed w the Big C, shortly afterwards her Father was also diagnosed, so she ended up taking a permanent LOA to care for her parents. They're both gone now, but she's decided that she found her calling in life caring for terminally ill patients. Instead of coming back to work in our industry, she's interviewing at a number of hospitals / cancer centers & related places.

My point being, you may end up like her, really enjoying / appreciating the fact that you're having such a positive impact on people when they so desperately need it! I personaly can't think of a better career than one where you're making a difference in peoples' lives.

Good for you - and Good Luck in your new position!
last edited: 2/09/07 9:03:55 AM”

“I am finishing up the Final Report on the fire from Tuesday....CRAP. The Hard part is theorizing how the victim got where she was when we found her.

I have to deal with death a lot in my job. Sometime I worry I get too "cold" in dealing with it...but I guess you have to come to a realization that this is a ONE for ONE situation...one birth/one death. The only thing I can do is try to prolong the time inbetween.

Nigal I admire people who can work in Hospice situations...takes a special person.”

“When the interviewer asked my why I wanted to work in Hospice I told her that I'm hopelessly a caregiver. I thought about switching careers but it would be hollow if I wasn't helping others. So I wanted to make the most difference I could at my level. I said no one remembers the nurse's aid who gave them a bed bath on second shift but everyone remembers the Hospice worker who was there to care for them and the whole family when their loved one passed on.

My wife told me when she tells people where I'm going to be working she can tell who has had contact with a Hospice worker because they get all misty and talk about their own experiences. It will be hard but to be able to make that kind of a difference in another person's life? How can I not do it?”

“"I have no problem with death and dying but the pain and grief it causes others is going to be the hard part." - Nigal

Yes.

I typed 2 different long responses here but in the end that one word says it all.”

“Everybody has problems with death and dying, just wait untill it happens, and it will.”

“We're talking about when it comes via cancer. A lot different than something like drowning, or head trauma.”

“Just got word last night that my Miss Anne (like an aunt or a big sister all my life) lost her fight. She never married and took care of her Mom with alzheimer's all her life. Her mom's funeral was last fall when Miss Anne was getting tumors removed. She didn't get to go. She never recovered and had the chance to live her life w/o having to take care of her Mom.
It's times like this that the idea of heaven gives me great comfort. I don't care how ludicrous of an idea it is to non-believers, people like Miss Anne deserve someplace like heaven. She was hitting the morphine every 15 minutes for the past four days. I'm glad she's not suffering anymore.
Cancer is ruthless.”

“Damn, Sass. Sorry.”

“Wow, sorry to hear it Sass.”

“Love ya Sass...my heart is right there with you!”

“Prayer said.”

“Wow Sass. I'm so sorry.

I'm going to see the doctor about a lump on my left bicep tomorrow. Its sure to be just a cyst, but the thought of metastasis makes me very nervous.”

“Sorry Sass...but you know its like one of my friends in the Fire Service said on his last few minutes alive. He looked at all of us crying and got this "goofy" smile on his face and asked, "Why are you crying for me, in a few minutes the pain will end, my knees, my back, my neck, everything that has plagued me for years will end, and I will be as God intented." (wise man and I still miss him)”

“I've been thinking about LS lately, anyone know how he is?

Sass, sorry to hear about Miss Anne. Cancer does suck.

I've been following the story of a 5th grader here in town who has a very rare form of ovarian cancer. Her dad writes a blog every day to update everyone on her progress. Its amazing what this community has done for her and the family - they have NOT cooked a meal for themselves since October, every church has her on their prayer chain, and fundraisers abound, not for her, but for the UofM Cancer Center. Amazing stuff.

Be well, everyone.”

“I got an email from Lesub after his first treatment. He sounded pretty upbeat.”

“Well, what a year :(. I've been dealing with my wife's cancer diagnosis / chemo treatments and all that... finally got to a point where I realized (accepted) that my life had to go on regardless of what was happening to those who I loved around me, and one of my favorite things is backpacking & the "nature connection" I feel when I'm in the wilderness... it's actually very spiritual for me to be out there.

So... I hooked up with an old friend, also a BP friend, a short while ago to see if she wanted to join me for some trips. To see if we were in shape we planned a pretty agressive day-hike in the mountains this past weekend to plan for a bigger Memorial Day Weekend trip.

Called her a few minutes ago to see how all was going & if we were on for the Memorial Day Weekend trip... she told me she was just diagnosed earlier today w Thyroid Cancer & was scheduling surgery. :( Memorial Day weekend is out for her.

I FRIKKIN HATE Cancer... just seems like it's all around me these days & I can't get away from it.

Had to vent, sorry :(.
last edited: 5/11/07 7:19:13 PM”

“I feel for you, Wanderer. Sending good vibes your way.”

“wanderer...I so know what you mean. I felt that way when my step dad died..and I still do. It seems like it is everywhere...you can't escape it. Cancer effects all families in one way or another.

Don't give up the desire to be outdoors. You do have to get away and have time for yourself, or you will go insane. If you don't take care of yourself you are no good to the ones who need you.

Big Hugs”

“Many of my mom's friends have cancer. My mom's a quilter and she's made about 7 cancer/ chemo quilts (lap quilt to keep you warm at the hospital)since the beginning of the year.”

“dont be sorry for venting about it, wand. you have every right to feel frustrated. its cutting into your life”

“Wow. Sorry for the year you are having.

My dog and I got tumors biopsied within a month of each other. My turned out to be benign (i was afraid it was a metastasis from cancer I had out in 2001), hers was stage 3. She won't live much longer.

Thyroid cancer, however is often not so bad. My Mom had it at 29 and had her entire thyroid (both sides) removed. At 74, they found there were bits of thyroid tissue metastasized in her and she had some removed.”

“Venting's good. Keeps ya from exploding.

When Maggie was diagnosed (13 years ago) we were told to talk about it. At first I didn't understand, but I soon realized that when we did, people opened up and told us their story's. It wasn't such a faceless disease any more. It had touched everyone we knew. Margaret and I each lost our mothers and fathers to it.

My Partner, Susan, came down with breast cancer a few years ago. We named a geocache "Almost done" because she was almost finished with her chemo treatment.

We learned two days ago that our very good friend and next door neighbor, has cancer.

It touches all of us.

Good thoughts and prayers to everyone dealing with this.
last edited: 5/13/07 9:36:44 PM”

“Sorry to hear it, Wanderer. I don't really know a single person that hasn't personally been effected by cancer.
last edited: 5/14/07 10:24:23 AM”

“I was hearing that over 10 million people in the US either have cancer or have had it. In some ways, that's good news because most of those would be dead if treatment hadn't come so far over the past 50 years.”

“Wanderer, I understand how you feel. I went through a period a few years ago where I felt it was all around me. 5 friends and family members diagnosed in 5 years. Keep up the faith, things will get better. Modern tech does great things now-a-days.”

“I was blown away yesterday. After work, I was taking my son to the drug store to get his pain killers after he had his wisdom teeth out.

There was gaunt looking bald man with a cane out front selling "Spare Change" a newspaper oprated by and for homeless people. The seelers don't make as much money selling it as they do pan-handling, but it allows more self respect and a path back to earning a living.

When I heard his voice, I did a double-take. He called out in a familiar tuneful call, "Spare Change Newspaper, help for the homeless." The voice sounded like "Mike" a guy who has been around selling papers off and on for 15 years. Mike, however had a pretty average build and had at leat 50 pounds on this guy. Mike was always pleasant and positive, never tried to hustle for extra "donations." I'd gotten to know him a little over the years. He often traveled, and it always brought a smile to my face to see him back and hear his resonant voice. Because he called out to all who heard selling the newspaper, individuals never felt put on the spot. He'd been away for a few years and returned not long after Katrina hit. He looked like he'd aged a good deal, but I didn't think about it too much - I assumed it was drugs, alcohol and/or poor nutrition. We started chatting about New Orleans whenever I'd see him and I'd buy a paper from him whenever it was one I didn't already have.

After I dropped off the prescription, I bought a paper from him and new it was Mike. I asked him how he was doing. "Not well" he answered, "I've got brain cancer and they want me in a hospice. I can't stay in no nursing home." Given the thread title, you pretty much knew that was coming. He talked about how treatment, and I told him I was glad to see him and happy he was out on such a beautiful day. I told him I'd had cancer, although it didn't hit me as hard

After getting some groceries, I came back to pick up the prescription. I started thinking about the time I had been as emaciated as he was and the time I had cancer. When I'd lost 50 pounds, I knew I was on the mend. He was facing death in the face. His odds weren't good. I decided that I should share just a little of my good fortune and take him dinner some day soon. On may way out, I asked him what his favorite food was and he laughed "these days, its ensure." I can't eat much, they are putting a feeding tube back in me in two days.

It turned out son had gotten to know him a little last summer and taken a liking to him. My son worked at an ice-cream store next door to Mike's favorite spot. He'd given him free ice cream from time to time (he's a vegan and never consumed the one free ice cream per shift he was allowed) and told him he would be sure his friend who worked there would give him an ice cream sometimes.

Mike looked it me and laughed when I showed a little disapointment that my plan wasn't going to work. "Ensure and ice cream in a frappe" he said with a smile, "on day like today, that's as good as it gets." It was a beautiful warm sunny day, I hope he gets plenty more of them.”

“That's a cool story. I hope things work out okay for him in some manner. I'm wondering if the brain cancer caused the swallowing muscles in his neck to begin failing.”

“Sure, RichB.

I have ongoing swallowing problems due to my stroke. The brain has to control the muscles.
last edited: 7/25/07 12:14:59 PM”

“Thanks for sharing Ped..I'm glad you had the opportunity to talk to him!”

“I didn't know you had swallowing problems. When I was reading about strokes before I had my artery fixed, I noticed that it said sometimes a stroke causes swallowing problems. We don't realize how important swallowing food is until we have trouble doing it. It can be a huge quality of life issue for some people and it's not always something that can be easily resolved.”

“Glad you got to talk to your old friend Pedxing. My good friend has brain cancer and it's difficult to watch it eat away at her personality and control her emotions.”

“Thanks for sharing the story. Very cool that your son independantly saw the same thing you saw and did what he could to help as well. Sounds like you reared hime well (my wifes grandmother used to get onto everyone for talking about raising kids. She said you rear children and raise chickens, ha!)”