Goodness i love God

“okay getting off of the i hate christians thread because i am tired of correcting people. i love God”

“me too.”

“Me three! :)”

“That would be "four". :-)”

“Hey miss, here's an idea. How about talking about backpacking, hiking, the outdoors?????

There are plenty of religious forums out there. Pick one and yammer off there, you'll be right at home. Otherwise.....

PISS OFF!


I love being a heathen.
last edited: 6/30/07 4:58:49 PM”

“Hey missy is that your age or your jugs”

“Oh, the high queen of irrelevance, who posts a new thread every time she breaks wind is telling someone else to stay on topic? That's rich! LOL!”

“Hey, me too! Every single one of them.

Blessed Be!

”

“See Free? Even the neo-pagans aren't bigoted against spirituality like you are. :P”

“missi44, I love God too! I love being in the wilderness basking in the glory of His creation, I feel His presence is more elemental there. I feel that Christians that don't "get out there" are missing out on so much, it is so spiritual.”

“watch it, eb. youre starting to sound like a pagan”

“I feel that Christians that don't "get out there" are missing out on so much, it is so spiritual.”

ill take it one step further. id say its bordering on hypocritical. christians like to think theyre so much closer to god than everyone else, and yet so many of them will never set foot into that elemental presence, where he is the most Present, in a land unspoiled by man, while many of us doubters are out there getting closer to god than all those pretender sheeple in their man-made temples, listening to a guy in a cheap suit telling them what to think and believe”

“Tell 'em crash.

Eb dear, you're one hike away from hugging trees and jumping bonfires. Welcome. ;)”

“and dancing naked. dont forget dancing naked”

“Don't be so silly, it is not pagan or hypocritical to give Him glory and praise for His majestic creation. Ok, you have a point about the "doubters" going into His unspoiled creation but you can't say you definatly are closer to Him. He has always inhabited the temple, I have had some amazing visitations from Him there, it is just different in nature. If someone lets a guy in a cheap suit tell them what to think and believe then they are not following the teachings of Christ! The Bible says in 1 John 4:1 "Beloved,believe not every spirit,but try the spirits whether theyare of God: because many false prophets are gone out into the world." As a Christian it is my duty to make sure what I hear and recieve lines up with the word of God.”

“are you saying pagans dont love nature?


you can't say you definatly are closer to Him

and you cant say that you are either. but im sure you will. and thats what i hate about you people”

“No I am not saying pagans don't love nature, I am saying that the love of nature is not exclusive to them.
No I won't say I am definatly closer, I feel I am through the relationship I have with Him but I won't tell you that you aren't as close to Him as I am, only God knows. I think it is great that you feel close to Him.
last edited: 7/01/07 12:36:09 AM”

“No I won't say I am definatly closer, I think I am

so you say you wont say it, and then you turn around and say it anyways”

“No, I said I feel that I am, I never said, nevermind. I didn't mean to demean you or make you feel as if I don't think you are as close as I am. Do you have a chip? I just feel you are very defensive, if I have said things that have put you in a defensive posture I am truly sorry, please forgive me. I do like a civil dialogue and am enjoying this.
After re-reading your original post "and you cant say that you are either. but im sure you will. and thats what i hate about you people” I just meant to agree the part of "and you cant say that you are either", sorry for the confusion.
BTW, John 15:17 says to love everyone.”

“Do you have a chip? I just feel you are very defensive, if I have said things that have put you in a defensive posture

nah, eb, you havent. you seem like a pretty nice guy. im just enjoying this conversation. i just get tired of christians assuming that theyre gods little buddies, and not acknowledging that its not a given that theyre right and everyone else is wrong”

“I won't tell you that you aren't as close to Him as I am, only God knows. I think it is great that you feel close to Him.
last edited: 6/30/07 10:36:09 PM”

now, when you add that edit in, i feel like i can cut you a lot of slack”

“Hey, I think I am Gods little buddy, I can frustrate Him to no end also. I don't think I am perfect, I just acknowlege my imperfection and sin and ask for forgiveness.
BTW I enjoy the conversation also. So where are you located? I'm in HOT, FLAT east Texas. I have got to get out soon!”

“currently, and for the next 48 weeks, i am located in gwangju, south korea”

“I was over there about 3 years ago, Geoje Island, near Busan. I had to take a bus from there to Seoul, what an expreience. Military, huh? I hiked on the trails on Geoje, there are hikers all over in South Korea. I read that hiking is a national passtime, they don't believe in switchbacks though.”

“military, no. all the military is in the north. gwangju is far south. im an esl teacher.

and yea, they dont believe in switchbacks. i went to wolchul-san national park yesterday. it was like being in the white mountains”

“How can anyone be responsible for their own actions when they have to ask for forgiveness every time their guilt bell rings. What a bucket of bat splatter when we must live around people whom can't decide for themselves what is right and wrong. Moore should have reserved the name 'Sicko', for his next movie about the sin-forgiveness cycle.”

“Uncliff exactly! "Oh I believe in god and jesus so no matter what I do, I'll be foregiven and go to heven" what bull. Its true for all those otehr religions too...."I'll go blow up a train and get to die, but I'll be rewarded...."”

“He, Him, His.

that's quite a gender specific belief you have.”

“god has a peenis”

“you seen it, eh?”

“yes, its fcking ginormous”

“maybe that's what is keeping him so preoccupied that he can't help the sick and starving children here.”

“I love God.”

“yes, but will you call him in the morning?”

“With a pecker that size? i bet bacpac would do anything.”

“I can do anything with the pecker I have.”

“bacpac, youre gonna make baby jesus cry with language like that. tell baby jesus youre sorry”

“i love god. with butter”

“and garlic. Don't forget the garlic.

It's ok bacpac. It's not the size that matters.”

“i see missitroll learned quickly.”

““god has a peenis”
crash bang
Wrong!
When god made the first man, she was only practising.”

“checking up on yer little schoolgirl fantasy, eh, bear?
last edited: 7/01/07 8:16:28 AM”

“Didn't he say she was Jewish? They don't get the cute little outfits.”

“God is coming!

So get on your knees!


”

“she'll whatever i tell her to wear. I'm preparing her Bat Mitzvah now.........”

“"Eb dear, you're one hike away from hugging trees and jumping bonfires. Welcome. ;)”
spindlette
12:05:44 AM
7/01/07

I gotta go hiking with this one!”

“
I cannot escape them
No matter how I try
They wait for me everywhere
I cannot pass them by.

Driving down the street
I see "Jesus Is Lord"
And then immediately after
I hear the word "FNORD!"

”

“So this rabbi goes to the Vatican. During his talk with the Pope he notices a RED phone on the desk. He asks what it is and is told it is a direct line to GOD. He asks if he can try it and is told OK, butr informed there is a charge.

After the conversation he hangs up the pope checks his computer and says, "UM that call is $15.00 for the connection.

A year later the Pope is visiting the Rabbi in Tel Aviv...he notices a NEW red phone on the Rabbi's desk. Of course he asks to use it. He makes a short call to God then hangs up. He looks at the Rabbi and says,"Oh what are the charges?"

The Rabbi smiles and says,"No Charge...its a local call."”

“so the rabbi and god both have cingular mobile to mobile?
last edited: 7/02/07 8:25:52 AM”

“This morning there was a knock at my door. When I answered the door I found a well groomed, nicely dressed couple. The man spoke first:

John: "Hi! I'm John, and this is Mary."

Mary: "Hi! We're here to invite you to come kiss Hank's ass with us."

Me: "Pardon me?! What are you talking about? Who's Hank, and why would I want to kiss His ass?"

John: "If you kiss Hank's ass, He'll give you a million dollars; and if you don't, He'll kick the #&%!$ out of you."

Me: "What? Is this some sort of bizarre mob shake-down?"

John: "Hank is a billionaire philanthropist. Hank built this town. Hank owns this town. He can do whatever He wants, and what He wants is to give you a million dollars, but He can't until you kiss His ass."

Me: "That doesn't make any sense. Why..."

Mary: "Who are you to question Hank's gift? Don't you want a million dollars? Isn't it worth a little kiss on the ass?"

Me: "Well maybe, if it's legit, but..."

John: "Then come kiss Hank's ass with us."

Me: "Do you kiss Hank's ass often?"

Mary: "Oh yes, all the time..."

Me: "And has He given you a million dollars?"

John: "Well no. You don't actually get the money until you leave town."

Me: "So why don't you just leave town now?"

Mary: "You can't leave until Hank tells you to, or you don't get the money, and He kicks the #&%!$ out of you."

Me: "Do you know anyone who kissed Hank's ass, left town, and got the million dollars?"

John: "My mother kissed Hank's ass for years. She left town last year, and I'm sure she got the money."

Me: "Haven't you talked to her since then?"

John: "Of course not, Hank doesn't allow it."

Me: "So what makes you think He'll actually give you the money if you've never talked to anyone who got the money?"

Mary: "Well, He gives you a little bit before you leave. Maybe you'll get a raise, maybe you'll win a small lotto, maybe you'll just find a twenty-dollar bill on the street."

Me: "What's that got to do with Hank?"

John: "Hank has certain 'connections.'"

Me: "I'm sorry, but this sounds like some sort of bizarre con game."

John: "But it's a million dollars, can you really take the chance? And remember, if you don't kiss Hank's ass He'll kick the #&%!$ out of you."

Me: "Maybe if I could see Hank, talk to Him, get the details straight from Him..."

Mary: "No one sees Hank, no one talks to Hank."

Me: "Then how do you kiss His ass?"

John: "Sometimes we just blow Him a kiss, and think of His ass. Other times we kiss Karl's ass, and he passes it on."

Me: "Who's Karl?"

Mary: "A friend of ours. He's the one who taught us all about kissing Hank's ass. All we had to do was take him out to dinner a few times."

Me: "And you just took his word for it when he said there was a Hank, that Hank wanted you to kiss His ass, and that Hank would reward you?"

John: "Oh no! Karl has a letter he got from Hank years ago explaining the whole thing. Here's a copy; see for yourself."

From the Desk of Karl
Kiss Hank's ass and He'll give you a million dollars when you leave town.
Use alcohol in moderation.
Kick the #&%!$ out of people who aren't like you.
Eat right.
Hank dictated this list Himself.
The moon is made of green cheese.
Everything Hank says is right.
Wash your hands after going to the bathroom.
Don't use alcohol.
Eat your wieners on buns, no condiments.
Kiss Hank's ass or He'll kick the #&%!$ out of you.
Me: "This appears to be written on Karl's letterhead."

Mary: "Hank didn't have any paper."

Me: "I have a hunch that if we checked we'd find this is Karl's handwriting."

John: "Of course, Hank dictated it."

Me: "I thought you said no one gets to see Hank?"

Mary: "Not now, but years ago He would talk to some people."

Me: "I thought you said He was a philanthropist. What sort of philanthropist kicks the #&%!$ out of people just because they're different?"

Mary: "It's what Hank wants, and Hank's always right."

Me: "How do you figure that?"

Mary: "Item 7 says 'Everything Hank says is right.' That's good enough for me!"

Me: "Maybe your friend Karl just made the whole thing up."

John: "No way! Item 5 says 'Hank dictated this list himself.' Besides, item 2 says 'Use alcohol in moderation,' Item 4 says 'Eat right,' and item 8 says 'Wash your hands after going to the bathroom.' Everyone knows those things are right, so the rest must be true, too."

Me: "But 9 says 'Don't use alcohol.' which doesn't quite go with item 2, and 6 says 'The moon is made of green cheese,' which is just plain wrong."

John: "There's no contradiction between 9 and 2, 9 just clarifies 2. As far as 6 goes, you've never been to the moon, so you can't say for sure."

Me: "Scientists have pretty firmly established that the moon is made of rock..."

Mary: "But they don't know if the rock came from the Earth, or from out of space, so it could just as easily be green cheese."

Me: "I'm not really an expert, but I think the theory that the Moon was somehow 'captured' by the Earth has been discounted*. Besides, not knowing where the rock came from doesn't make it cheese."

John: "Ha! You just admitted that scientists make mistakes, but we know Hank is always right!"

Me: "We do?"

Mary: "Of course we do, Item 7 says so."

Me: "You're saying Hank's always right because the list says so, the list is right because Hank dictated it, and we know that Hank dictated it because the list says so. That's circular logic, no different than saying 'Hank's right because He says He's right.'"

John: "Now you're getting it! It's so rewarding to see someone come around to Hank's way of thinking."

Me: "But...oh, never mind. What's the deal with wieners?"

Mary: She blushes.

John: "Wieners, in buns, no condiments. It's Hank's way. Anything else is wrong."

Me: "What if I don't have a bun?"

John: "No bun, no wiener. A wiener without a bun is wrong."

Me: "No relish? No Mustard?"

Mary: She looks positively stricken.

John: He's shouting. "There's no need for such language! Condiments of any kind are wrong!"

Me: "So a big pile of sauerkraut with some wieners chopped up in it would be out of the question?"

Mary: Sticks her fingers in her ears."I am not listening to this. La la la, la la, la la la."

John: "That's disgusting. Only some sort of evil deviant would eat that..."

Me: "It's good! I eat it all the time."

Mary: She faints.

John: He catches Mary. "Well, if I'd known you were one of those I wouldn't have wasted my time. When Hank kicks the #&%!$ out of you I'll be there, counting my money and laughing. I'll kiss Hank's ass for you, you bunless cut-wienered kraut-eater."

With this, John dragged Mary to their waiting car, and sped off.”