Axis of Idiots

“Ya go fishin for trout and all you catch is a lousy bluegill.”

“and a stupid bluegill at that!”

“what a wonderful contribution to the forums. with gems like these its a wonder this place survives without you.”

“perch”

“Flounder”

“Stop carping at each other.”

“squid and leave here, I octopus your nose right in your face.”

“holy mackerel.”

“holey granny panties!”

“wholey inappropriate”

“Knock it off. You're giving me a haddock.”

“It was April the 41st, being a quadruple leap year
I was driving in downtown Atlantis
My Barracuda was in the shop, so I was in a rented Stingray, and it was
overheating
So I pulled into a Shell station
They said I'd blown a seal
I said, "Fix the damn thing and leave my private life out of it, okay
pal?"

While they were doing that I walked over to a place called the oyster
bar -- a real dive
But I knew the owner, he used to play for the Dolphins
I said, "Hi, Gil!!!"
You hafta yell, he's hard of herring

CHORUS:
Think I had a wet dream
Cruisin' through the Gulf Stream
Oooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
Wet dream...

Gil was also down on his luck
Fact is, he was barely keeping his head below water
I gullied up to the sandbar
He poured the usual
Rusty snail, hold the grunion, shaken, not stirred
With a peanut butter and jellyfish sandwich on the side -- heavy on the
mako
I slipped him a fin -- on porpoise
I was feeling good
I even dropped a sand dollar in the box for Jerry's Squids -- for the
halibut

Well, the place was crowded
We were packed in like sardines
They were all there to listen to the big band sounds of Tommy Dorsal --
what sole
Tommy was rockin' the place with a very popular tuna -- "Salmon Chanted
Evening"
And the stage was surrounded by screaming groupers
Probably there to see the bass player

One of them was this cute little yellowtail
And she's giving ME the eye
So I figure, this is my chance for a little fun
You know -- a piece of Pisces

But she said things I just couldn't fathom
She was too deep, and seemed to be under a lot of pressure
Boy, could she drink
She drank like a... she drank A LOT...
I said, "What's your sign?"
She said, "Aquarium"
I said, "GREAT!!! Let's get tanked!"

CHORUS

I invited her up to my place for a little midnight bait
I said, "C'mon baby, it'll only take a few minnows"
She threw me that same old line
"Not tonight -- I got a haddock"

And she wasn't kiddin' either, 'cuz in came the biggest, meanest looking
haddock I'd ever seen come down the pike
He was covered with mussels
He came over to me, he said, "Listen shrimp -- don't you come trolling
around here"
What a crab
This guy was steamed -- I could see the anchor in his eyes

I turned to him, I said, "Abalone -- You're just being shellfish"
Well, I knew it was going to be trouble, and so did Gil, 'cuz he was
already on the phone to the cods
The haddock hits me with a sucker punch
I catch him with a left hook
He eels over
It was a fluke, but there he was, lying on the deck, flat as a mackerel
Kelpless

I said, "Forget the cods, Gil, this guy's gonna need a sturgeon"
Well, the yellowtail was impressed with the way I landed her boyfriend
She came over to me, she said, "Hey big boy, you're really a game fish"
"What's your name?"
I said, "Marlin"

CHORUS

Well from then on, we had a whale of a time
I took her to dinner
I took her to dance
I bought her a bouquet of flounders
And then I went home with her
And what did I get for my trouble?
A case of the clams

CHORUS
CHORUS/FADE”

“FINE...YOU WIN (LOL).

HEY...lets start a pun page or better yet, I think we can degrade this thread into Punishment enough.

Give me another line there Non”

“i'm starting to feel like a real looser...people keep making these lists but i never make any of them”

“I can only give props to Kip Addotta, XL. He wrote "Wet Dream."”

“Bummer, comeo on don't water this thread down, lets have some fun. If you don't play it could be said you were a wet blanket.”

“Let's get this over with. This will be posted eventually, so why not by me?

Tw*t did you say? I c*nt hear you, I have an ear infuction. Bareass me again.”

“OHH you prick me with your wit. It is more than apparent that you are a breast of the challenge.”

“hey fellas! I'm in the process of trademarking your name before Colbert steals it from me.

I noticed stovie isn't here today. Maybe he's in line, collecting his government disablity check, funded by my tax dollars.”

“Maybe he's sitting around hiding on the internet making fun of people with a disability?

LOL! ... idiot”

“what, no threat this time sarge?”

“;-)
last edited: 2/26/08 10:56:43 AM”

“Mark O did you get your ass kicked alot as a child.”

“I'm thinking alot.”

“No, I was(and still am) one of the large kids.

Sadly, I don't know what it's like to be picked on.

Are you a runt, Mini Sh__?”

“Oh, poor baby Buddha Bear got "threats". Do you want everyone to save you?”

“Come see for yourself Mark OOOO.”

“I doubt Buddha Bear is worried.

The boy knows how to take care of punks.”

“minish...translation...'He got swirlied a lot (LOL).

he was the fat kid that everyone laughed at..but he got even when he cleaned up their plates while they weren't looking....

Thats why he found the only safety in his alter ego of LIBRARYMAN!!!! or SPONGEMAN (at home)...it must be tough not mixing up those outfits....”

“MarkO, do you think I'm a punk?”

“So how tall and heavy were you in your prime, MarkO? That is, before all the drugs and drinking.”

“"I don't think one THIN mint would hurt"....(LOL)

'he weighed a metric ton, he hadn't seen 'is willie in seven years which is long enough to have it legally declared DEAD."


(LOL)
last edited: 2/26/08 11:14:36 AM”

“Interesting how you wingers even flow down you perspective left and right side of the sewer pipe on your way to Lake Polarity.”

“Pick a side and step inside the cage salebored.”

“I'll be the referee, don't worry I can't see.”

“Things here never change.”

“Change he says , he's an Obuma hummah, get him.”

“Ruh-roh. One less member of the Axis.”

“"Axis of Idiots" in the Whitehouse: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5pt0rDYZPDA”

“SPLAT!”

“Oh yeah... and screw you Phaedrus.”

“Violin, are you threatening me?

I only ask because the last person to do that never showed up. I eventually had to dismantle the booby-trapped doors and dig up the land mines in the front yard.

Are you reliable?”

“MarkO, do you think I'm a punk?”
Sarge
12:05:44 PM
2/26/08

If you say so, Sargie.

“So how tall and heavy were you in your prime, MarkO? That is, before all the drugs and drinking.”
Mutt
12:05:55 PM
2/26/08

I don't do drugs, ya crack hoe.

6' 4" 200# at age 42 and still sprinting at the end of my 2-3 mile runs.

Now that I'm over the hill I weigh a whopping 220# and I don't run any more...........power walking works for me.

How 'bout you Mutt, have you busted a buck-forty yet?

XLax and Mini Shlt, you runts would do well to stick together.”

“Claymores are nice because you can keep them installed.”

“If you say so, Sargie.

I don't say so. I'm asking you.”

“My money is on the Mook from Joizee whoopin' the doodoo outta the skate kid from Homodesto.”

“Phaedrus - never showed up? Was a date given to you?”

“Sarge, you're more of a busy body than a punk.

Why do you ask?

Are you lookin' for affirmation..............validation.................ratification?”

“Sheesh. Just when ya think ya got him pegged...

Lonely Guy”