Weekly World News Bites The Big One

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A World Without Weekly World News

Where Breaking Stories (Like "Rumsfeld Changes His Name to Rumsfeldstiltskin and Tells Rogue Nations 'Guess My New Name or We'll Invade You'") Will Go Untold

“For three years, under various pseudonyms,” writes journo Stan Sinberg, “I ‘reported’ that the real reason for global warming was that teenage space aliens were stealing our glaciers for party ice, that the judicial system was in chaos because a thief stole ‘the book’ that judges throw at them, that leftovers from the Last Supper were found in a man’s fridge, and that a man who killed a fly was arrested for ‘pesticide’ (the police chief chided, ‘That’s why we have a SWAT team’). And several hundred more ’scoops.’”

Now, Weekly World News (the self-proclaimed “World’s Only Reliable Newspaper) has published its last-ever issue,

And the supermarket checkout lines will be, as Sinberg laments, “an emptier, less imaginative place.””

“All the News That Seemed Unfit to Print

By Peter Carlson
Washington Post Staff Writer
Tuesday, August 7, 2007; Page C01

Somewhere in Kalamazoo, Elvis weeps: The Weekly World News is folding.

The Weekly World News was not one of those sleazy tabloids that cover tawdry celebrity scandals. It was a sleazy tabloid that covered events that seemed to occur in a parallel universe, a fevered dream world where pop culture mixed with urban legends, conspiracy theories and hallucinations. Maybe WWN played fast and loose with the facts, but somehow it captured the spirit of the age -- and did it in headlines as perfect as haiku:

"DEAD ROCK STARS RETURN ON GHOST PLANE!"

"BLIND MAN REGAINS SIGHT AND DUMPS UGLY WIFE!"”

“Heck the Major media is covering most of the stories anyway (LOL)/”

“You luagh now XL, but what will you do next time Bat Boy goes on a 17 state reign of terror and the mainstream media completely ignores it. I hope he winds up on top of a barn in your neighborhood!”

“I always found that these tabloid stories were based on something that was true, but then they would twist the story in a way to make it more sensational. Sure enough, my dad was mentioned in the National Enquirer once. A few months before Queen Elizabeth visited San Francisco (many years ago), an old 1940's era artillery shell was found in the bay. My dad was supervising the police bomb squad at the time, so they did whatever they do to safely dispose of it. Shortly thereafter, he fielded a call from some reporter who asked about it. In the Enquirer, they reported that terrorists had been foiled in an attempt to blow up the Queen. The article said that my dad "confirmed that an explosive device had been found." True!”

“Nogranola...my deepest sincerest apologies...you are correct...I never really considered a world without that portion of the rack at the Grocery store covered....

Bowlder is right. They were able to put a hilarious spin on the story..the problem was that some people took the crap seriously.”

“Read a great article on the staff - all former major/serious news journalists. Loved their new job - no worries and it was an odd day when they weren't laughing so hard until they were crying during their brainstorming sessions.

Used to read it in college every once in a while.

RIP Bat Boy.”