Misc.

“I heard Odgen Nash was a trilaterlist working for haliburton....

HAHA! j/k”

“
some Ogden Nash.....


"Family Court"

One would be in less danger
From the wiles of a stranger
If one's own kin and kith
Were more fun to be with.


"Reflexions on Ice-Breaking"

Candy is dandy
But liquor is quicker.


"The Panther"

The panther is like a leopard,
Except it hasn't been peppered.
Should you behold a panther crouch,
Prepare to say Ouch.
Better yet, if called by a panther,
Don't anther.

”

“

The Torino Scale






NO HAZARD (white)

0. The likelihood of a collision is zero, or is so low as to be effectively zero. Also applies to small objects such as meteors and bodies that burn up in the atmosphere as well as infrequent meteorite falls that rarely cause damage.


NORMAL (green)

1. A routine discovery in which a pass near the Earth is predicted that poses no unusual level of danger. Current calculations show the chance of collision is extremely unlikely with no cause for public attention or public concern. New telescopic observations very likely will lead to re-assignment to Level 0.


MERITING ATTENTION BY ASTRONOMERS (yellow)

2. A discovery, which may become routine with expanded searches, of an object making a somewhat close but not highly unusual pass near the Earth. While meriting attention by astronomers, there is no cause for public attention or public concern as an actual collision is very unlikely. New telescopic observations very likely will lead to re-assignment to Level 0.

3. A close encounter, meriting attention by astronomers. Current calculations give a 1% or greater chance of collision capable of localized destruction. Most likely, new telescopic observations will lead to re-assignment to Level 0. Attention by public and by public officials is merited if the encounter is less than a decade away.

4. A close encounter, meriting attention by astronomers. Current calculations give a 1% or greater chance of collision capable of regional devastation. Most likely, new telescopic observations will lead to re-assignment to Level 0. Attention by public and by public officials is merited if the encounter is less than a decade away.

THREATENING (orange)

5. A close encounter posing a serious, but still uncertain threat of regional devastation. Critical attention by astronomers is needed to determine conclusively whether a collision will occur. If the encounter is less than a decade away, governmental contingency planning may be warranted.

6. A close encounter by a large object posing a serious but still uncertain threat of a global catastrophe. Critical attention by astronomers is needed to determine conclusively whether a collision will occur. If the encounter is less than three decades away, governmental contingency planning may be warranted.

7. A very close encounter by a large object, which if occurring this century, poses an unprecedented but still uncertain threat of a global catastrophe. For such a threat in this century, international contingency planning is warranted, especially to determine urgently and conclusively whether a collision will occur.

CERTAIN COLLISIONS (red)

8. A collision is certain, capable of causing localized destruction for an impact over land or possibly a tsunami if close offshore. Such events occur on average between once per 50 years and once per several 1,000 years.

9. A collision is certain, capable of causing unprecedented regional devastation for a land impact or the threat of a major tsunami for an ocean impact. Such events occur on average between once per 10,000 years and once per 100,000 years.

10. A collision is certain, capable of causing global climatic catastrophe that may threaten the future of civilization as we know it, whether impacting land or ocean. Such events occur on average once per 100,000 years, or less often.















”

“remember that 1983 horror classic "the entity"?

someone developed a video game for the atari 2600, based on the movie

thankfully, it never saw the light of day

http://www.atariprotos.com/2600/software/entity/entity.htm”

“This was KICK ASS on the "Gran Torino" scale...

”

“We just watched Gran Turino last night. Great movie but not at all what I was expecting.”

“were you expecting........................a sort of spanish inquisition?



last edited: 9/09/09 2:05:09 PM”

“The Inquistion (Lets Begin)
The Inquisition (Look out sin)
We have a mission
To convert the Jew (Jew Jew Jew Jew Jew Jew Jew)
Were gonna teach them (Wrong from right)
Were gonna help them (See the light)
And make an offer that they cant refuse.
(That the Jews just cant refuse)

ConfessDont be boring
Say yes Dont be dull
A fact Youre ignoring
Its better to lose your skullcap than your skull (Or your gavalt)

The Inquisition (What a show)
The Inquisition (Here we go)
We know youre wishing that wed go away
But the inquisitions here and its here to stay

The inquisition (Oh boy)
The inquisition (What joy)
The inquisition (Oi oi)

I was sitting in a chapel I was minding my own business
I was listening to a lovely Hebrew mass
Then these papus persons plungered
And they throw me in a dungeon
And they shoved a red hot poker up my ass
Is that considerate?
Is that polite?
And not a tube of preparation H in sight.

Im sittin flickin chickens
And was lookin thru the thickens
When suddenly these guys break down the walls
I didnt even know them
And they grabbed me by the scrotum
And they started playing Ping Pong with my balls
Oy the agony
Oy the Shame
To make my privates public for a game

The Inquisition (What a show)
The Inquisition (Here we go)
We know youre wishing that wed go away
But the inquisitions here and its here to

Hey Torquemada
What do you say

I just got back from the auto-da-f ,
auto-da-f Whats the auto-da-f?
Its what you oughtnt to do but you do anyway.

Skit scat doodlebac doodle be bay

Will you convert.NO NO NO NO
Will you confess.NO NO NO NO
Will you revert.NO NO NO NO
Will you say YES.NO NO NO NO

Now I asked in a nice way
I said pretty please
I bent their ears
Now Ill work on the knees

Hey Torquemada
Walk this way
We got a new game you might want to play
Pull this handle, try your luck
Who knows Torque, You might win a buck (All right)

Put it in the car
In the car In the car

How we doing. Any converts today?
Not a one Nay Nay Nay
Weve flattened their fingers
Weve branded their buns
Nothing is working
SEND IN THE NUNS

The Inquisition (What a show)
The Inquisition (Here we go)
We know youre wishing that wed go away
So come on all you heathens and you Jews
We got some good news for all of yous
Youd better change your point of views today
Cause the inquisitions here and its here to say.”

“Don't click on this.”

“The life of a repo man is always intense.”

“Repo Man's got all night, every night.”

“


”

“twat waffle?

LOL”

“Let's go do some crimes.
Yeah. Let's go get sushi and not pay.”

“Good evening, Otto. This is Agent Rogersz. I'm going to ask you a few questions. Since time is short and you may lie, I'm going to have to torture you. But I want you to know, it isn't personal.”

“1: The lights are growing dim Otto. I know a life of crime has led me to this sorry fate, and yet, I blame society. Society made me what I am.
2: That's bull#&%!$. You're a white suburban punk just like me.
1: Yeah, but it still hurts.”

“Remember never take a sleeping pill and a laxitive at the same time.”

“
Choosy Motherfvckers Choose Jif! �

Stupid Rednecks Vote Republican! �

”

“Say you�re thinking about a plate of shrimp. Suddenly someone says plate, or shrimp, or plate of shrimp. Out of the blue. No use looking for one either. It�s part of the lattice of coincidence that lays on top of everything.”

“Look at these people. I�ll bet they all have bad debts.”

“How's that rotting fish, Boy?

Maybe you should sign on as "Gollum" ---- you've got the look.”

“I want some of those drugs t*ltypoo is on.”

“
The hairs on the back of his neck came to attention and he heard himself moan as he discerned the unmistakable stench of decay oozing through the jasmine.

Haunted
by Tamara Thorne

”