Birth of Christ (Modern Day)

“Sent to me...(Author unknown)

If you can imagine Christ being born in America today, all of this could very well apply......

"Let us give thanks that God sent His Son in the fullness of time, which obviously means 'before modern bureaucracy found a way to screw things up.'"

Some of you will appreciate it as a spoof of what can go wrong when government gets too big.

At any rate, Merry Christmas!





INFANT DISCOVERED IN BARN, CHILD PROTECTIVE SERVICES LAUNCH PROBE
Nazareth Carpenter Being Held On Charges Involving Underage Mother

Bethlehem , Judea - Authorities were today alerted by a concerned citizen who noticed a family living in a barn.

Upon arrival, Family Protective Service personnel, accompanied by police, took into protective care an infant child named Jesus, who had been wrapped in strips of cloth and placed in a feeding trough by his 14-year old mother, Mary of Nazareth.


During the confrontation, a man identified as Joseph, also of Nazareth , attempted to stop the social workers. Joseph, aided by several local shepherds and some unidentified foreigners, tried to forestall efforts to take the child, but were restrained by the police.


Also being held for questioning are three foreigners who allege to be wise men from an eastern country.

The INS and Homeland Security officials are seeking information about these who may be in the country illegally. A source with the INS states that they had no passports, but were in possession of gold and other possibly illegal substances.

They resisted arrest saying that they had been warned by God to avoid officials in Jerusalem and to return quickly to their own country. The chemical substances in their possession will be tested.

The owner of the barn is also being held for questioning. The manager of Bethlehem Inn faces possible revocation of his license for violating health and safety regulations by allowing people to stay in the stable. Civil authorities are also investigating the zoning violations involved in maintaining livestock in a commercially- zoned district.


The location of the minor child will not be released, and the prospect for a quick resolution to this case is doubtful. Asked about when Jesus would be returned to his mother, a Child Protective Service spokesperson said, "The father is middle-aged and the mother definitely underage. We are checking with officials in Nazareth to determine what their legal relationship is."


Joseph has admitted taking Mary from her home in Nazareth because of a census requirement.
However, because she was obviously pregnant when they left, investigators are looking into other reasons for their departure. Joseph is being held without bond on charges of molestation, kidnapping, child endangerment, and statutory rape.


Mary was taken to the Bethlehem General Hospital where she is being examined by doctors. Charges may also be filed against her for endangerment. She will also undergo psychiatric evaluation because of her claim that she is a virgin and that the child is from God.


The director of the psychiatric wing said, 'I don't profess to have the right to tell people what to believe, but when their beliefs adversely affect the safety and well-being of others - in this case her child - we must consider her a danger to others. The unidentified drugs at the scene didn't help her case, but I'm confident that with the proper therapy regimen we can get her back on her feet.'


A spokesperson for the governor's office said, "Who knows what was going through their heads? But regardless, their treatment of the child was inexcusable, and the involvement of these others is frightening. There is much we don't know about this case, but for the sake of the child and the public, you can be assured that we will pursue this matter to the end."”

“Poor Mutt was persecuted by his parents.”

“ha ha! merry christmas sarge. may you enjoy the celebration of the birth of the christian meme.”

“Mutt's a Memeticist!”

“Not a very good one. I saw his lips move.”

“That's pretty funny.

For a bunch of years, I had to follow-up on all admissions to the psych hospital I worked at. We'd get a couple "miracle pregnancies" a year. Some were self professed virgins, some were abstinent or way past menopause. We used to joke about how history would see us if the patient we had locked up really happened to be a pregnant virgin.

Most (including one guy) were not actually pregnant according to the medical follow-up. If any of pregnant ones produced a kid who has been walking on water (not counting the frozen stuff) - I hope I'll be forgiven.”

“LOL...This is great!

I guess bringing up the whole (october most likely date) thing is just throwing gas on the fire.

Ofcourse my Faith is what I believe....you cannot argue it with me since, it is MY belief (kinda like the Envrio wackos) but then I have no desire to force it on anyone.

To me its kinda like throwing a rope to you if you are drowning...you can grab it or Go down....your choice.”

“Then there is this

http://www.milkandcookies.com/link/84805/detail/”

“It would have been funny without that anti-Jesus poster at the end....”