I am not an Ass hole

“atleast I don't think so.”

“I haven't met you so I don't know if you are one or not :)”

“You probably have one, though. I know I do.”

“Just like oppinions. Or so I've been told.”

“Sure you are! Don't be so hard on yourself ;)”

“I know you are, but what am I?”

“You're going to have to produce witnesses.”

“Is your refrigerator running?”

“I'm here to testify! ENS definitely practices non-as*holism.”

“I've always considered you more of a jack ass than an ass hole. ;-)”

“that's ok.. jackasses and boneheads are sort of the same thing.”

“A certified non-as*holic?”

“But I play one on TT...





Ok well not really but I couldn't resist.”

“That is up for debate, meangreen...”

“lyra is ENS a a-hole?”

“how about a punk?

:)”

“Folks, Id like to sing a song about the American Dream
About me, about you
About the way our American hearts beat way down in the bottom of our chests
About that special feeling we get in the cockles of our hearts
Maybe below the cockles,
Maybe in the sub cockle area,
Maybe in the liver, maybe in the kidneys,
Maybe even in the colon, we dont know

Im just a regular Joe, with a regular job
Im your average white, suburbanized slob
I like football and porno and books about war
I got an average house, with a nice hardwood floor
My wife and my job, my kids and my car
My feet on my table, and a Cuban cigar

But sometimes that just aint enough to keep a man like me interested
(oh no, no way, uh uh)
No I gotta go out and have fun at someone elses expense
(woah yeah, yeah yeah, yeah yeah yeah)
I drive really slow in the ultra fast lane
While people behind me are going insane

Im an #&%!$ (hes an #&%!$,what an #&%!$)
Im an #&%!$ (hes an #&%!$, such an #&%!$)

I use public toilets and I piss on the seat
I walk around in the summer time saying "how about this heat?"

Im an #&%!$ (hes an #&%!$,what an #&%!$)
Im an #&%!$ (hes the worlds biggest #&%!$)

Sometimes I park in handicapped spaces
While handicapped people make handicapped faces

Im an #&%!$ (hes an #&%!$,what an #&%!$)
Im an #&%!$ (hes a real #&%!$ing #&%!$)

Maybe I shouldnt be singing this song
Ranting and raving and carrying on
Maybe theyre right when they tell me Im wrong...
Nah

Im an #&%!$ (hes an #&%!$,what an #&%!$)
Im an #&%!$ (hes the worlds biggest #&%!$)

You know what Im gonna do
Im gonna get myself a 1967 Cadillac Eldorado convertible
Hot pink, with whale skin hubcaps
And all leather cow interior
And big brown baby seal eyes for head lights (yeah)
And Im gonna drive in that baby at 115 miles per hour
Gettin' 1 mile per gallon,
Sucking down Quarter Pounder cheeseburgers from McDonalds
In the old fashioned non-biodegradable styrofoam containers
And when Im done sucking down those greeseball burgers
Im gonna wipe my mouth with the American flag
And then Im gonna toss the styrofoam containers right out the side
And there aint a goddamn thing anybody can do about it
You know why, because weve got the bombs, thats why
2 words, nuclear #&%!$ing weapons, OK?
Russia, Germany, Romania, they can have all the democracy they want
They can have a big democracy cakewalk
Right through the middle of Tiananmen Square
and it wont make a lick of difference
Because weve got the bombs, OK?
John Wayne's not dead, hes frozen, and as soon as we find a cure for cancer
Were gonna thaw out the duke and hes gonna be pretty pissed off
You know why,
Have you ever taken a cold shower, well multiply that by 15 million times
Thats how pissed off the dukes gonna be!
I'm gonna get the Duke, and John Cassavetes,
and Lee Marvin, and Sam Peckinpah, and a case of whiskey,
and drive down to Texas and say.....

(Hey! You know, you really are an #&%!$!)
Why don't you just shut up and sing the song, pal?
Im an #&%!$ (hes an #&%!$.what an #&%!$)
Im an #&%!$ (hes the worlds biggest #&%!$)

A-S-S-H-O-L-E
Everybody
A-S-S-H-O-L-E

Im an #&%!$ and Im proud of it
last edited: 12/26/07 9:46:21 AM”

“I already testified, Maple! Can I get an amen?”

“no you do not count. sorry”

“I have to agree with maple on this one”

“
You know what FRANK would say.......

Hey! Do you know what you are?
You're an #&%!$! An #&%!$!

Some of you might not agree
'Cause you probably likes a lot of misery
But think a while and you will see...
Broken hearts are for #&%!$s
Broken hearts are for #&%!$s
Are you an #&%!$?
Broken hearts are for #&%!$s
Are you an #&%!$ too?
Whatcha gonna do, 'cause you're an #&%!$...

Maybe you think you're a lonely guy
Maybe you think you're too tough to cry
So you went to The Grape,
Just to give it a try
And Dagmar
Without a doubt, the ugliest sonofa#&%!$ I ever saw in my life
Was his name...
One Two Three Four!
The whiskers sticking out from underneath of his
Pancake make-up
And yet he was a beautiful lady
Nearly drove you insane
Let's talk about Leather: LEATHERRRRRR
And so you kissed a little sailor
Tex Abel, starring in the latest Shepperton Production:
Who had just blew in from Spain
Sir Richard Pump-A-Loaf
You sniffed the reeking buns of Angel
The story of a demented bread-boffer
And acted like it was cocaine
Cucumber pud annexed to a fine whole-wheat loaf
You were dazzled by the exciting new costume of Ko-Ko
Then on Tuesday night, Caesar's back in town
In a way you can't explain
Facing off in a no-holds-barred tag team grudge match
With Kona.
And so you worked the wall with Michael
Three-hundred-seventy-nine pounds of Samoan dynamite
Which gave your back an awful strain
Volcanic Hell
But you came back on Sunday for the gong show
Next Thursday, teen town's finest......
But you forgot what I was sayin'
'Cause you're an #&%!$, You're an #&%!$
That's right
You're an #&%!$, you're an #&%!$
Yes, yes
You're an #&%!$, you're an #&%!$
That's right
You're an #&%!$, you're an #&%!$

Now you been to The Grape 'n' you been to The Chest
'N' now I think you know what you are: you're an #&%!$

You say you can't live with what you been through
Well, ladies you can be an #&%!$ too
You might pretend you ain't got one on the bottom of you,
But don't fool yerself girl
It's lookin' at you
Don't fool yerself girl
It's winkin' at you
Don't fool yerself girl
It's blinkin' at you
That's why I say
I'm gonna ram it, ram it, ram it
Ram it up yer poop chute
Corn hole
Ram it, ram it, ram it
Ram it up yer poop chute
Fist #&%!$
Ram it, ram it, ram it
Ram it up yer poop chute
Wrist-watch; Crisco
Ram it, ram it, ram it
Ram it up yer poop chute
Pud!

Don't fool yerself, girl
It's goin' right up yer poop chute
Don't fool yerself, girl
It's goin' right up yer poop chute
Don't fool yerself, girl
It's goin' right up yer Poop Chute
(aye yi yi yi yi.....)
Don't fool yerself, girl
It's goin' right up yer poop...... chute
(aye-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi)
Don't fool yerself, girl
It's goin' right up yer poop...... chute
(aye-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi)
Don't fool yerself, girl
It's goin' right up yer..........

Aw, I knew you'd be surprised.....



"Broken Hearts Are For #&%!$s"
 Sheik Yerbouti (1979)
 Zappa



(you know whenever you post Zappa lyrics the naughty word traps will get a workout ---)

        (arf, she said)

”

“I know a lot of people who are indeed qualified ass holes.

ENS is not one. He's just a bonehead.”

“maple asks for lyra's opinion, is told lyra has answered, and then says lyra's opinion doesn't count? How does that work?”

“it's maplelogic dayhiker - don't try to understand it - you'll only get a headache.

;)

but yeah, ENS is not an ass hole. I know several ass holes and he is not one.
last edited: 12/26/07 11:41:41 AM”

“The day Maple starts making sense, I'll be very concerned! :-D”

“So would the rest of us. ;>”

“he I'm reading ya know”

“The exchange was begging to be made fun of though.”

“Bonehead and #&%!$ would seem to have a natural anatomical connection. I could see ENS qualifying in that regard:)”

“Just don't go shovin' your Bonehead up yer A$$hole and everything is gonna be alright.

"But I play one on TT.."

Sucker beat me to it.”

“all this and they STILL won't send 4assmonkey his password because his name has "ass" in it!”

“i am not. but i do have my special moments.

LOL!”

“ha ha ha Jimmy.. that is part of the expirement of this thread.”

“Why the new login, hidin from The Man?”

“whoever is not an ass hole raise your hand.

all #&%!$es sit down and shutup!”

“"methinks thou dost protest too much....."”

“I was able to sign my cat up for an account. Too bad 4assmonkey can't get one LOL”

“Maybe it needs to lose 2 or 3 asses.”

“Lower case or not
Login is really the same
Password must click, though”

“I am remembering back to a thread that you were posting on that you wrote "I don't trust anything that bleeds for 7 days and lives"

I vote misogynistic A S S H O L E!!!
last edited: 12/26/07 3:48:44 PM”

“Tango, I've seen you post that before as a quote of mine. Please find that thread or statement in a thread. I never made that statement in any shape, language, form or anything in my entire life, or any past lives (if I have any past lives).

That statement never even crossed my mind (either lobe) as a thought of my own.

It is just simply something I would not consider.
last edited: 12/26/07 4:34:42 PM”

“I don't remember the thread or I'd post the reference. If it is not you, and you say it isn't. Then I take it back. But as I recall, I thought what my last line was (in my last post) and I remember saying gosh, I'd hate to meet him.

SOOOO... since I can not find the quote I will take you at your word and withdraw my vote with regard to your #&%!$dness.
And I'd like to hike with you sometime.”

“There's no misogyny in backpacking!

That's never a word I'd throw at ENS, and he would die of embarrassment if trapped in a discussion of female biology details.

Interesting phrase tho. I wouldn't trust anything that bled for 7 days and lived either. That would be a big, pissed off, non-human something.”

“Dang Tang, give the boy a break! He's just a bonehead.”

“SO!  Got everybody fooled ---- do you, Butthole Boy??

BWAAAH-HA-HA-HA-Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa...........”

“Spin, the phrase is directed toward women that menstruate.”

“if I said it, I would own up to it.

It's ok though.

I remember you used to get mad at me because I posted pics of Gene Simmons and the incredible hulk on the knickers thread.

I am many things, but a sexist, I am not.”

“Can the admins please explain again exactly why 4assmonkey wasn't allowed to sign up? Oh yeah. He has ay double ess in his name. Good catch!”

“free 4 assed monkey!!!

and

Free Tibet, while we're at it!!”

“I get mad at all the y- chromos homo-sapiens that post yuckie male pics on the Knickers thread! You're not the onliest one!”