Naughty trail stories

“http://www.heraldtribune.com/article/20080312/BLOG35/662022043

This week’s Play column is about Sarasota’s Bill Walker, who wrote a hiking book: “SKYWALKER: Close Encounters on the Appalachian Trail.”

Walker told me he had to cut lots of things out of the book, for space, including some naughty bits about life on the trail. There was this fiftysomething guy on the trail who was in the habit of asking female hikers for, um, favors.

Then there was the hiker called Stilts who was more successful in romancing women on the Appalachian Trail. The next day, though, he would hike away at a rapid pace.

“He was known as the most dangerous man on the trail,” Walker said, laughing. “He left behind a trail of tears.””

“I have naughty trail stories, but I don't dare share them here.

They know where I live...”

“my naughty trail stories are like: "once i dug a cat hole and it was only 4" deep!" or "one time, when nobody was looking, I DID NOT TREAT MY WATER!"”

“If you combine the two it becomes a case of 'paybacks are Heck'.”

“I piddled in Sugar Creek once. Is that naughty enough?

I bet all the drunken tubers floated right through it too! HA!”

“One time i was handling a code brown about 3 feet off of the trail on a rainy day, and a girl scout troop walked by. I think that counts.”

“ONCE, WHEN I WAS REALLY HUNGRY BECAUSE I SCREWED UP MY MEAL PLAN, I HAD _DOUBLE DINNER_ ON THE TRAIL.”

“that's like 'second harvest'...eh?”

“Whatever!!! more like you didn't bring ENOUGH food and had to mooch off your hiking partners!
lol

ONCE, WHEN I WAS REALLY HUNGRY BECAUSE I SCREWED UP MY MEAL PLAN, I HAD _DOUBLE DINNER_ ON THE TRAIL.”

“During a certain new years trip, these two TT gals took one of the TT guys to bed......

I promised Rummi I would never talk about it though.”

“you really think we're gonna give up the good stuff for FREE?

seriously man!”

“ONCE I WORE THE SAME UNDERWEAR FOR _THREE DAYS_!”

“MY NAUGHTY SECRET IS THAT I LIKE THAT CORN CHIP SMELL MY SOCKS HAVE AFTER A FEW DAYS...”

“eeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwww! yogi's got hiker funk”

“speaking of naughty... ok so i was in columbus ohio today (don't ask me why) and i was REALLY bummed out and so at the airport on the way home i had lunch at the airport while i waited for my flight. i ate at wolfgang pucks and even though it was like 11:30 i drank like 4 margaritas with my pizza and was TOTALLY loaded... it might have been five. then the flight home was windy and they would not turn off the seat belt sign as the plain suffered from bad turbulence -and- i was in a window seat. my eyeballs were yellow when i landed and i had to piss like a race horse -and- the buzz had worn off so this was a real bummer. now i was supposed to be working but the beauty of being a field-based engineer is you can do sh*t like this from time to time and know that you earned it by putting up with all the other bullsh*t that they make you deal with.

oh, well so why did i type all this up. first i am more than a little drunk tonight. second, so as i drank my dranks i looked across the tables to the bar and there was this blonde chick and she was sitting on a bar stool, or should i say she sort of wrapped around the bar stool... and her pants had sort of scooted down and there was this string thing around her waist and a little triangle with another string and i was like, "oh man i wish i had my camera!" i mean that thing had to be something you could make a slingshot with... david and goliath style... or whatever. it MUST have been made of spectra because i am certain normal nylon can't take stress like that. anyway, i did not have a camera and, fortunately, i had enough to drink that i managed to finish my pizza and sort of stumble to my plane.”

“This yogimamasan must have a dull engineer's life if all can do is babble about seeing some sheila's thong undies in an airport. Dude do you wear short sleeved white shirts with a tie and have like twelve pencils in the pocket? Give us a break and shut up.”

“Acually, I've hiked with him, and he's a pretty cool guy... mean spirited posts like that are what makes this place suck!”

“No letting a drunk post idiotic dribble on this site is what sucks. I'm just telling the truth. It's time to run the losers out of here and start a good BPing site.”

“just put sarge, err I mean forklift elvis, on ignore and forget about him”

“done”

“"...fiftysomething guy on the trail who was in the habit of asking female hikers for, um, favors."
*****

Where is the naughty?”

“In '74 I was on an eight-day canoe trip on the BWCA in Minnesota with four other guys.

We crossed paths a few times with a large group of girls(scouts, I reckon) and their several women leaders.

Our group had stopped and set up camp on an island where we had a nice big rock from which to jump and leap into the water.

Much to our delight we saw the armada of girls and women approach our rock. Someone in our party thought it would be great fun to give them a show. So the five of us stripped naked and began leaping and flipping from the rock into the water about 8-10 feet below.
We would thrash about in the water and then scramble back up onto our rock, hooting and laughing all the way, and make spectacular leaps again and again.

The female boaters kept their distance while the women in the group urged the girls to paddle on and ignore the savage display.
last edited: 3/26/08 5:54:13 AM”

“haha! a dull engineers life indeed!”

“I saw stovie takin a dump! lol”

“An experience of that magnitude is best save for your therapist.”

“Saw him blow his nose??”

“sc, that is nasty on SO many levels...”

“Maybe she just couldn't look away.”

“On a canoe trip down the Delaware I saw about 20 or more people with there canoes pulled up on shore. Some people were hanging out on shore while others were splashing about in the water. All of them were naked. While hiking down a trail once, I saw two girls sunbathing topless on rock.
last edited: 3/26/08 6:57:09 AM”

“About 1990 I led a group of small children on a two-mile hike up to the top of Spruce Mountain just east of Barre, Vermont.

It is a popular hike to the highest(3,000 foot) peak in the area with an old fire tower on top.

The kids were scrambling about on the rocks and a couple of the boys burst through some spruce foliage to find a group of lesbians sunbathing topless.

They immediately reported to me and of course I had to go and check it out.

Boy, did that make our day!”

“How did they know they were lesbians? Are their nipples different?”

“Some of their number had that "rugged" look, Nimble and we got what I would call un-welcome looks.

After all Barre is just a bit east of Montpelier, which is one of Northern New England's "gay meccas".

........not that there is anything wrong with that.”

“You know Nimble. Short hair cuts, boyish looks, chained wallet ect.. Ok back to work...”

“You forgot............shirts off”

“Shiny happy people!”

“Remember those two girls at Overmountain Shelter a few years ago? You should cause you talked to them most of the night. The next morn, we cooked our breakfast just beside them on the platform. I do remember wishing them a "good morning" when they woke up.”

“yes karo.. one of my fondest memories.. they were both very cute.. both vegans.. both very nice.. talkative.. and the two of them laying in each other's (nekkid) arms the next morning was pretty sweet too.”

“So, it has nothing to do with nipples being different. Maybe I just wanted to type the word "nipples".

Nipples, nipples, nipples, nipples...just brings a smile to my face:)”

“Since when is naked naughty? If I was meant to be clothed I would have been born that way.”

“Those women leading the girls in the lake country didn't think naked was OK.

"Paddle faster, girls!"”

“Mtn gal, you weren't born with clothes on? I think us recoverering catholics were:)”

“Love the "avatar" on your profile.
last edited: 3/26/08 3:00:40 PM”

“{8-0

She's nekkid in her avatar!”