he killed the turkey!

“CMB is such a silly bean!

He wanted to cook teh turkey roast while I was away from work so knowing he can't even scramble an egg, I attempted to talk him through it over the phone. An hour later, he called back-- "how long am I suposed to cook it? It's been in there an hour and it's still raw!"
Rolling my eyes, I tell him the time is right on the directions that came with the roast.
"No it isnt"
It IS he's just not looking so instead of arguing I tell him it's supposed to cook for two hours.
10 minutes later he calls back "i'm just going to put it on warm untill you get home tonight and you can finish cooking it."
I told him it didn't work that way.
I got home from work last night, after 11...and low and behold, he'd left the bird in the oven on warm (200*). Scared, I peeked in there and it was a turkey BRICK.

OY!”

“what's a turkey roast?”

“It's not a whole turkey.....


its part of a turkey lol with the bones removed.”

“You gotta be good to kill a dead turkey.”

“CMB gets points for trying but he does know 200 degrees will just get the bacteria growing good, I hope?”

“I TOLD him that LOL!”

“Stove...what bacteria you know that survives at 200F?

Normally I put my turkey in at 250 for 6 hours to slow cook....(with foil sealing it in).”

“You think that turkey instantly went to 200 inside? LOL”

“Its scary what Mike will leave out and eat days latter....

OMG. He has a iron stomach and no concept of food safety!”

“Give him a break - he's a backpacker! Where in the directions did it say "bring water to a boil"?”

“What's that backpacking rule about food dropped on the ground? So many seconds..... LOL”

“He can cook ramen, and I tought him how to boil an egg and microwave a potato...thats about the extent of his culinary skills LOL!”

“Microwave a whole egg in the shell!

Fun, yet messy.”

“Do NOT give him ideas!!!!!!”

“I thought Mike liked to blow stuff up?
I know I do!

You are just an old fuddy duddy, SC. ;-)”

“I was at a get together last night and a guy was asking this lady where her husband was. She said, "Do you want his story or mine?" She'd cleaned out the frig before leaving town and told him to stick anything after a certain day in the freezer. Some meat balls got left in the frig. He ate them though they were a little green and he missed the get together because he had food poisoning. His version was that she was trying to kill him. I can't wait to ask him if his University of Tennessee education didn't teach him any better than to eat unintentionally green meat balls. He also graduated from Michigan State. I may ask if he thought his wife prepared some MSU Trojan meatballs.”

“could be worse
http://vodpod.com/watch/1243653-mr-bean-video-mr-bean-with-a-turkey-on-his-head”