Is that a ferret in your pants?

“Police: Fla. man stole ferret by shoving in pants
Police say a homeless man in north Florida did just that. And he made it out the door before being challenged.

October 29, 2009

JACKSONVILLE BEACH, Fla. (AP) -- It's one thing for shoplifters to hide plunder in their pants. But a live ferret?

Police say a homeless man in north Florida did just that. And he made it out the door before being challenged.

Thirty-eight-year-old Rodney Bolton is charged with theft over the $129 animal that police say he took from a pet store in Jacksonville Beach.

A 17-year-old witness confronted Bolton in the parking lot and was bitten by the animal after the man allegedly shoved it in the teen's face.

That confrontation makes the ferret a "special weapon" under Florida law. So Bolton also faces battery charges for dangerously wielding the animal.
Calls to the Jacksonville Sheriff's Department to see if Bolton has a lawyer were not answered early Thursday.”

“Actually I'm just glad to see you.”

“I used to shop at that store all the time. I lived about 6 miles away from it. There's lots of dirtbags like that guy around there. Across Beach Blvd. from the pet supermarket is a nursery I used to go to often. I stopped going there first thing in the morning, so the employees could let out the homeless who jumped the fences and slept in the mulch shed or in with the tender tropical plants.”

“OSLO (Reuters) – A man was caught by Norwegian customs carrying a tarantula in his bag, and a further 14 royal pythons and 10 albino leopard geckos taped to his body, media reported Monday.

The 22-year-old Norwegian was stopped in a routine check by Kristiansand customs after arriving on a ferry from Denmark, newspaper Faedrelandsvennen reported.

Customs found the tarantula, before deciding to give him a full body search that revealed 14 stockings -- one for each snake -- taped around his torso, top selling tabloid VG said.

Reptile smuggling is not uncommon in Norway, which prohibits people holding many reptile species as pets, but office manager Helge Breilid at Kristiansand customs was quoted by VG as saying customs officers had been "horrified" by Sunday's catch.

"Customs officers quickly realized the man was smuggling animals, because his whole body was in constant motion," Breilid told VG.

When the man dropped his pants, the officers found 10 cans taped to his legs, each containing a lizard, he said.

The man was still being held by police Monday, Kristiansand police attorney Johann Martin Kile told VG, adding he would be released upon agreeing to pay a 12,500 Norwegian crowns ($2,256) fine.

The reptiles were handed over to a security firm until Norwegian authorities decide what to do with them, Breilid said.”

“So many jokes, so little time.....”

“The guy must have looked like Man Mountain with all that stuff wrapped around him.

No tight pants for him.”

“I can only imagine how scary that would be to watch a guy dangerously wielding his animal in a parking lot. I would probably freak out or get blind.”

“I would probably freak out or get blind.

Over here we wouldn't know whether to $h!t or go blind.”

“Euro you know I gotta agree...if the guy "could" wield his weapon it would be rather frightening...(LOL)”

“XL, I know....
:-)”

“I culd use my hubsand Gissmaeioux like a ferrat prolly sens he looks like a ferrat enny ways - BOL!

Yeh! Mebbe we will theff PetStor and get all ther snaks and a kuppel of rats to bite.”

“LOL...I remember my sweet aged aunt in Dallas. As a child I remember going to her house in the 1970's (she was already in her late 60's I think) and one afternoon the Police were there.

Apparently there was a "guy" who would sneak around to houses, ring the doorbells and ask the women if they 'Liked what they saw?"

Well he picked my aunt. She answered the door, he flashed, she grabbed and HELD ON (this is a lady who weighed maybe 90 lbs drippping wet but was a dressmaker so her hands were like steel vices).

LOL. Just then a cop drove by and she WALKED cuz' out to the squad car....kinds limped him out would be more like that.

Apparently he decided that waving his "weapon" may not have been the best choice of pasttimes. (LOL)”

“That's a very ballsy story.”

“sounds like that dick got handed what it deserved... zing”

“Typical, another grandiose XL made up story.”

“$129 for a skunk??”

“Numblenuts, poor chicken humpin numblenuts (LOL)”

“I'd like to have a ferret.
I wish I could have a cat or a dog :-(”

“Believe it or not, there are ferret/trousers contests in (wait for it) English pubs. There was an article about it in Outside a few years ago.”

“Dan, that story is as old as the hills. When you can't twist reality, you just make #&%!$ up. When you get to the point of doing something with your life, that behavior will cease to exist, so there is hope.”

“Typical, another grandiose XL made up story.”
Nimblefoot
4:34:45 PM
10/29/09

he's got one for every occasion don't he!”

“Yeah nimble what EVER you say....the thing is you can believe what you want and I know about my aunt.”

“I am not a psychologist, but somehow I have to believe that knowing about your aunt having a handfull of dick just can't be healthy.”

“... about the gorilla catcher.

So there's a (presumably escaped) gorilla on the roof of this old lady's house and she looks up 'Gorilla Catcher' in the Yellow Pages and, sure enough, calls one.

Well, the truck arrives and this guy gets out and he has a ladder, a dog, a pair of handcuffs and a shotgun.

'What are you going to do with those?' asks the old lady.

'I'm going to climb on the roof and push the gorilla over. When he hits the ground my pitbull here will grab him by the bullocks and I'll 'cuff him - simple as that - then we'll load him in the truck.' replies the gorilla catcher.

'What's the shotgun for?' she asks.

'If the gorilla pushes me off the roof, shoot that Goddamned dog.'”

“ROTFLMAO...

A guy is getting drunk in a bar, after many too many he approaches the Barkeep and asks, "Sha'y whea's da john, I gotta drop one?"

The bartender tells him to go down the hall and take the third door on his right. The drunk toddles off down the hall.

A couple minutes later a BLOODCURDLING scream pierces the bar. The bar goes silent. Then the music comes back on and the people start dancing and talking...this is broken by another bloodcurdling scream.

The bartender runs down the hallway and opens a door. There is the drunk, and he looks up from his seat and says,"BUB, this toilet is murder. Each time I go to flush it something Grabs my balls."

The bartender takes it all in and says, "Yeah well this is the second room on the right. Its the Janitor closet, and um...you are sitting on the Mop bucket."
last edited: 11/02/09 11:10:22 AM”

“Euro why cant U have a dog or cat?”

“Jerbear, I live in a one bed room flat. I work full time. Which means a cat or dog sitting alone in a one bed room flat for at least 10 hours a day and longer if I have to go shopping or run some other errands after work. When I come home I am busy for another hour and a half at least, before I can care for myself or anything else. My job involves traveling, sometimes on short notice. I have no family for cat/dog sitting the animal when I am not at home. The few people I know around here won’t take a cat or dog, maybe once in a while in an emergency, but not for so long and often.
That’s not a life for a cat or dog. Not even for a ferret. All these animals suffer tremendously when they are left alone so much every day. However I turn it: It’s just wrong.
:-(
It’s a crappy life. I am NOT going to do that to an animal.”

“Maybe you could just rent a pet, like they do in Japan. ;)”

“Perhaps you could have a nice hobby like painting.

>8^b”

“I wish I could share a pet with someone.”

“I'm kind of in the same boat as you Euro. I'd love to have a dog, but with my work schedule plus commute, I'm gone a minimum of 13 hours a day. That's way too long to leave an animal alone.”

“Can I share a pet with you?”

“You live somewhat close to Gremlin, Zac.
He's a real animal!”

“I'm not sure if Gremlin is house broken yet.”

“Aaaaa-ooooo!!”

“Ouch, eh?”

“



Renfield
(July 2000 – March 2005)

Leonids 2001

”

“I can send you a stuffed bear.”

“Thanks Jerbear. I have a stuffed bunny on my bed. Can you promise that your stuffed bear isn't doing anything with my stuffed bunny?


Tilt had a ferret? I am jelaous.”

“She was a real sweetheart, but lived less than five years.”

“thanks marko
euro, my bears are ALL, certified gentle and have a few manners, HOWEVER they are still MALES.;) You know whatI mean? Yo bear”

“Your gentlebear and my ladybunny, mmmmm....?”

“Just don't play that kind of music around them and they should behave themselves.”

“lol”