Kleetn, do you know where your squirrel is?

“This guy just wanders iin off the street like he never left.

Bring back a couple more old times and we can have renunion week.”

“Heck, I'd trade Stobe and X-lax for a squirrel right about now. Keep Strat, he's just good folks.”

“I'll see your squirrel raise raise you a Feen-A-Mint.”

“Fenian Mints? You Irish are all alike!”

“I think he meant to spell it "Phaed-o-mint". Silly libbie cain't spel.”

“I will take that bet dunadan!”

“Mmmmmmm, I'll bet Phaed-o-Mints will loosen up you doo doos real good.”

“This is no way to treat a squirrel thread.
Can somebody please post a squirrelly picture?”

“Acts where you need it!”

“I got yer skwerl right here.

”

“Many thanks, oh Northwesterner of the Squirrel School of Haiku.”

“

Here Dun”

“The irony is that the Feen a Mint advertising team is full of #&%!$.”

“The cross breeding process must have been a sight to see.

”

“LOL...there is a visual for the breeding process.”

“DON WILSON

In just a moment we'll hear from Mr. Gershwin again, but first we have a scene from real life for you. Two traveling salesman are chatting in a hotel lobby. One is an old timer and the other a youngster on his first trip. DON WILSON exits.

3 BELL TONE. Actors enter behind mic.

(Fred Astaire and Jimmy Durante doing double duty!)

Jones: Well, well well, Charlie, how'd you make out today?

Charlie: Well, pretty good I guess, but I don't think if I was cut out for this traveling business, Mr. Jones.

Jones: You don't eh, well what's wrong?

Charlie: Well, with all this jumping from town to town and riding on trains and busses, well, I can't watch my diet. And the result is that I feel pretty rotten most the time.

Jones: Hmm, that's not so good.

Charlie: Yes, you see my trouble has always been constipation. And I'm particularly anxious about it right now. I've never been able to find a laxative that agrees with me.

Jones: Is that so. Well, it's about time you got wise.

Charlie: Huh?

Jones: You take a tip from an old timer and find out about FEENAMINT

Charlie: Ah, Feenamint?

Jones: Yes, Feenamint. It's a chewing gum laxative and the taste is great.

Charlie: Well, I guess I can chew gum alright, but how “effective” is this Feenamint?

Jones: Ah, don't worry about that. Feenamint's thorough. And don't worry about upsetting your system, either. Here's what I learned from my pharmacist back home. When you chew something your body is assimilating it in a natural way - a laxative or anything else.

Charlie: Hmm, right, of course.

Jones: Ever since I heard that I've relied on Feenamint

I don't mind traveling on trains or by car or how irregular my meals are. I'm okay and it's all a result of Feenamint. Say, there's a drugstore right here in the hotel. Why don't you go get a package of Feenamint right now?

Charlie: Say, I'll do that and thanks for the good advice, Mr. Jones.

(actors exit)”

“MarkO just #&%!$ himself.”

“Wise man once sayeth
Those who don't sh_t, full of sh_t
Bring my Feenamint!”

“I found your squirrel. he is at my work.
I work in the middle of the woods and I get treated everyday to the antics of the squirrel. I swear I find myself laughing out loud.

I need to get him on camera”

“that's hilarious! Thanks for sharing.”

“Kleetn can not be back offically until a photo of a squirrel with huge vibrating balls is posted.....”

“Does being an ass come naturally to some people? Or do they have to work at it?”

“chili - Do you still have me on ignore like you said a few weeks back?”

“It's HPD's spiritual gift.”

“All this squirrel hateing makes people all personal attacky. Can't we all just get along?”

“"Well, you're not getting any of this (snicker, that means you're not going to get buttsex from me)."

Man, just what is your problem?”

“I dunno - ask crash, he said it first. Just play'n off that.

So funny how when I'm playing it's because I'm a meany troll, but everyone else means the best.”

“Yeah, yeah. Double standard, yipptee yippity. Same old, same old.”

“yep - same old”

“It's a wonder how you even put up with it.”

“yet another thread goes to sh^t
thank you”

“Thanks a lot sniQer.”

“sorry but you had a hand in it.
learn to ignore.”

“"learn to ignore"

Was that irony?”

“Kleetn' and his pet trouser squirrel. He can't stop petting it.”

“Bump the squirrel. It's Obama's fault.”

“


Stay the hell out of my skwerl thread, you bickering idjits.”

“And now, back to our regularly scheduled programming.

”

“

Nuts? What nuts?”

“I got yer back !
”

“I have a squirrels nest in a lofty pine that overhangs the roof of my house...lately the little buggers have been chewing up green pine cones and leaving the stems on the ground at the base of the tree...a happy occasion for me, because that means they aren't chewing on the low voltage wiring for my Patio Lights instead!

I may just cover their trade routes with squirrel snares to cut back on the population..I have Squirrels, Rabits, Fox, deer and all the assorted other animal life you come to expect in a well developed neighborhood, goats, pigs, chickens, horses, emu's, Cattle of all ilks; Heck, I'm not likely to starve.....although they neighbors might object to my killing the family pets! Especially the guy down hill from me..he has a couple of large hens that he dotes on...but they keep pressing their luck by visiting me in the early morning hours......”

“Methinks ST has need of a new boat LOL

”

“I'd settle for enough replacement fencing to keep the varied and sundry pets of the neighbors in their respective yards!”

“When we lived in Knoxville, we started seeing dead squirrels in the yard and on the carport..after a day or two, James got a little concerned and went to check some chemicals he had stored in the storage closet off the carport...sure enough, the little buggers had chewed thru a box and eaten some of the poison bait bricks...he quickly disposed of the carcasses and put the rest of the bait in plastic tubs...”