Stunk Monkee!

“I seen on the telebision at the mornin that there is Stunk Monkees walkin round in the Flowerda woods! The peeple says that they is BIG MONSTERS that walk round and EAT DOGS and peeple! They are Stunk Monkees cuz they are BIG MONKEES that are reel stinky like a stunk rat. I hope that I do not NEVER see one when I am walkin in the woods cuz they mite try to EAT ME but mebbe it would be a good time to smell there STINKY BUTTS which would be ok.

Did y'all never see a stunk monkey?”

“na! but I once done saw a bigfoot, He was like chaseing these three female sasquatchs up on MT Shasta. When I reported it, the FS said I was crazy, they only have yettas.”

“She's referring to the Skunk Ape story on the Atlanta CBS affiliate morning news. The blurred photo taken by a Sarasota County lady closely resembled an orangutan (sp).

Hmmm...
Doesn't Barnum and Bailey winter in Sarasota?”

“Not to mention all the exotics that escaped into the scrub and 'Glades when Hurricane Andrew (?) smashed South Florida a few years back.

Sarabelle, you just bark real loud at those stunk monkees 'cause I bet their stink is worse than their bite and you'll scare them right away from you and into some gator pit where they'll get their stinky butts chomped good by something that likes chomping stinky things.”

“sara, that was gojo.”

“sh!t! now i'm talking to a dog!”

“null”

“Owls are very silent in flight. Special feathers and everything.”

“whereas the common tommy squawks relentlessly.”

“and loudly. Don't forget loudly.”

“SQUAWK! SQUAWK!”

“If your talking about real Sasquatches, That ain't fair, We need Sacquatches here in Tennessee!”

“I'm unfamiliar with the Stunk Monkey but am well acquainted with the Spanked Monkey.”

“..looks like someone is wearing Jack's Smirking Grin (Mr. 'it only takes three licks to get to the center of a tootsie pop/give a hoot, don't pollute'..yeah, you).”

“(I realize I haven't been here for awhile and may have just made a dangerous assumption - aren't they all?? - about your gender, Owl. Sowweeey! 'acquainted with' doesn't necessarily mean..uh...never mind)”