Silly things to do

“I saw an old friend, someone that I haven't seen in a while... Things were pretty tense at the begining. I hate tense situations so I took a latex glove (non-powerdered) out of my pocket and blew it up over my head. I think that really lightened the mood. Does anyone have any stupid little silly things like that to do?”

“Usually all I have to do is start talking. It won't be long until something silly or stupid has jumped to the forefront.”

“no comment, I plead the fifth”

“I just let hyperpacker talk ;^)”

“baume 66 noted my main method, though I usually drop or spill something, too. Thanks for letting me claim my clumsiness is just an icebreaker technique.”

“I've found on a first date, a good icebreaker is to bite down on a cherry tomato so as to make it squirt all over your date. (It was our last date too.)”

“hey! that happened to you too?!:0)”

“Le, LoL”

“I sometimes answer the phone at home with; "Homicide", or "Kelly's Pool Hall, Kelly speakin'"”

“Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.”

“Hmmm, let's see. One, that to this day drives my mother insane, is to use Bugs Bunnyisms. You wouldn't believe how many people just don't get it.

Tom- Try anwering the phone, "City Morge." That one drives the teenage son bonkers, since most of the calls these days are for him.”

“Hyper was answering the phone in our delivery rm "Papa Harvey's, we deliver". It didn't make things any "lighter" for me. It was a nice try though :)”

“Oh no! Joy, he didn't?!

Okay guys, listen up. Never, ever try to make jokes to a woman in labor. We don't have much of a funny bone at that point in time. As Bill Cosby once said, and I'm paraphrasing here, "try passing a water melon through your nostril and see how it feels."”

“When Lookingglass is on the phone being very serious and calling all different airlines for price quotes to who knows where, I start talking in the background. I'll say something loudly like, "The goat is on the couch. Now he's capping on the couch. Get the goat out of the house." It's really funny, you have to be there. Actually, this doesn't break the ice, it makes him angry, but I'm laughing, lol.”

“I walk the halls between classes with my measuring tape pulled out and locked at about 16" and talk into it as if it's a radio. Then I do a crackly "KSHHHHHZZZT KZZTT" as if someone's responding - to which I respond with a "10-4".

A modulation may go something like this:
"I have a white caucasian honky female approximately several feet tall and several hundred pounds that's causing a ruckus situation in the 400 hall... over."

"SHHHHHZZZZT TSSSZZZZPT".

"10-4"

"Okay, ma'am - just keep yer hands where I can see'em, and walk this way."

Then, I'll start walkin' ala "pimp".

...to think - I actually GET PAID to do this stuff!
heheheeee!

God Bless America!”

“Walk through the engineering department in the morning whistling the theme from the Brady Bunch or some other silly tune, then see how many times during the day you can catch others humming the same tune.”

“Sometimes while on rounds I'll take my squaking rubber chicken along. Rubber chickens are comic genious - or at least goofy genious.”

“Next time your at a party at night, and there's a bunch of moths flying around the porch light, grab one and gently put it in your mouth.

Walk inside and up to a group of people, and open your mouth to let the moth fly out.

Won't get you a lot of dates, but it sure is fun!”

“LOL LH!

I like to go into the counselors office during parent conferences (early morning / late afternoon) and stand where the parent(s) can't see me. Then, I'll act like I'm eating leaves off a plant, or I'll pick my nose, or scratch my butt, or whatever, and see how long the attending teachers can go w/o cracking up.

gooooooooooood times!”

“gojo, the longer Lookingglass stays on the phone, the worse it gets. The goat gets real messy, lol.

I like the nose picking thing, lol. I think I'll try it on LG when he is having a serious talk with a salesman about something he has no intention of buying, lol.”

“I have a presentation to give in a class on Wednesday. I would love to be scheduled for a presentation and do something goofy. I don't know, maybe bring a stereo and play annoying kids songs and just sit and bob my head until the prof kicks me out. or maybe show up in a clown suit and give the presentation like nothing is odd at all, or plant unsubliminal-subliminal messages in the presentation...”

“The nother day me and Skinny Kenny was layin in the grass and I said "Look, a perty girly kittykitty!" and Skinny Kenny turned around his hed to look and when he did I SMELLED HIS BUTT!
(o:3”

“Someimes when I'm feelin' nutty, I will tell my coworker (trainer)
that the electrical breaker is off when really there are 277 volts going through it! The best part is when he grounds himself while on a 6ft ladder! Then he falls. Boy, the faces and noises he makes are great! Goooood times!”

“When I catch a rat, I like to walk aroun with it in my mouf between my cheek and gum like it is chewin'bacca and do that for a minit befor my daddy throws it over the fense so the cows can eat it cuz I do not eat rats I jus let them soke in my mouf.”

“When the Jehovias or whomever comes a knocking, start yelling foul things and answer the door in your undies and ask them what the hell do they want as you continue scatch and mubble to yourself about that STD you have. Don't forget to shake hands either.”

“Sometimes at work when I have a bad day. I will sneak to a liquor store and buy a pint of vodka. On the drive back to work I will drink it real fast. Then in a few minutes I find the boss and yell all kinds of obscenities at him. It is really great, he has a vein on his right temple that pulses when I do this. It is so silly.”

“Thanks for the yuks everyone, I needed that!

I rediscovered how to do 'armpit farts'. I crack myself up when I do this.

A friend of mine gave me an eye-squishy kiss. She put her eye socket over the apple of my cheek and scrunched up her eye repeatedly...we both dissolved into fits. Try it..it's really weird and hilarious.”

“When Credit Card salesmen call you and ask for information to send you a card, play along until they reach the birthdate. Then give them yesterdays date and stick to it no matter what they say.

Whenever someone asks you if you have found God, just say "why, did you lose him? Where was the last time you saw him?" Continue on as if you were looking for a child.”

“LOL”

“Pull part of yer sac out of yer zipper and tell everyone to look at the piece of gum on yer lap!”

“Looks like you dropped your gum on the floor of a barber shop. What the...?!?!”

“When I worked in a machine shop there were these little "rubbers" available to slip over your fingers.
They called them finger cotts.
They were good for covering bandaged fingers to protect them from the coolant, etc.
They were rolled up just like the BIG ones.

If I happened to have some in my pocket I would give them to someone who had never seen them before...."here, ya might need these".”

“Wow, you people never cease to amaze me :-0 And I thought I was silly!”

“You know you can't put m& M's on layaway at walmart? I have tried and I got a "Oh... ummm... you can't do that"

"Why not"

"Because ummm... hang on... (*Leaves and then comes back*) They are a food product and we don't put food on layaway. I was so mad...

I like taking boxes of condoms and putting them in peoples carts when there not looking. Right up front in the little basket thing, for they see it, and everyone sees it...”

“To liven up the evenings at home, when Lookingglass and I are watching tv, I get up and start dancing to the music on the commercials.”

“I enjoy standing in front of the TV during commercials so the kids can't see. I laugh when they get pissed off. They don't care that its only commercials!”

“I can see that in my head right now! Thanks again for the visual effects there LH. LOL!”

“when being robbed at gunpoint, be a real sarcastic smartass to the guy holding a gun in your face. make fun of obvious things such as his weight, facial scars, etc.

if that doesn't work, whip out a pen and start taking notes. when the robber asks you what in the hell you're doing, say, "i'm writing down your description for the police. i have a short memory, okay?"

if that doesn't work, pick up the phone and dial 911. tell the police what's happening as you take your time putting the robber's money into a paper bag. if he gets mad, tell him, "shhhhhhh! i'm on the phone!"

be really rude to gang members. wear the opposite colors that they do and tell them you're homey g roy and they're going down!

been nice knowing you.”

“Seek help!”

“You know when you go into a convenience store, and they have those six-packs of soda? Only you don't want to buy the whole six-pack so you only take one or two?

Yeah. They get real mad when you do that with bread...

-Anon”

“buy 5 cans of soda”

“Find a place that sells coke with the little plastic things. Take off all the cokes but one and buy that one still attached.”

“Hey! I work at a convenience store! Be nice. :oP”

“Spam, your welcome! Sometimes I'm doing a egyptian dance, ballerina style, disco or modern dance. I like to switch things up, lol.”

“LH are you on drugs???”

“No I'm not little, iddie, biddie one. Drugs would just stomp on my creativity and imagination.”

“For the kids (you kids), put your finger in your ear, now put your tongue in the opposite cheek, move both around.”

“I pretend I can crack my nose. I tell the kids I broke it once and now it cracks when I push it side to side. You put an index finger on each side of your nose (like praying) and they can't see your thumbnail in you mouth hooked under your top front tooth. As you pretend to move your nose to the side you snap your thumbnail off of the tooth. It makes a LOUD crack that really freaks them out.”

“LH how about the Hula dance in that purdy blue outfit ya got?”

“Inconspicuously unzip yer zipper...put one hand down yer pants and stick yer pointer finger out the open zipper...hold the finger with yer other hand like you'd hold Mr. Howdy...get whomever(s) attention and say "Check out this mole I noticed...!"”