advise on being single

“Any advice on finding yourself single after nine years. besides bummer.”

“sorry advice. Bad hair day. Wait I'm near bald, bad hair life.”

“Act like your married or got a serious girlfriend. You get chicks that way.”

“Learn to argue with yourself.
Find a hobby or more of them.
Hang out in college bars. ?
Get a GQ, MensHealth mag. and read it.
Avoid comb overs if balding.
Get in shape or try too
Change the image. (clothing, etc)
Be a suger daddy, alot of ladies out there looking for someone to sponge off of.
Join some clubs!!!”

“That's right Lobo, keep wearing the wedding ring, lol.

Advise: go out & do activities you like, and you will find others you may like doing the same thing, and just get out a lot and mingle.

Smile a lot & look happy in the presence of females. Don't talk to females about your wife (marriage).”

“I don't do comb overs, Lots of college women around but at 36 that might be hard, although I will be in college classes again real soon, I'm in shape as a firefighter needs to be, tons of hobbies that I haven't had time to do, already argue with myself, I always look happy because I am almost always happy and I was thinking of hawking the wedding ring to buy more gear. Need to find a good dog again, that always helps, do you know any sarabelle. lol. Looks like I will lose the computer. talk to ya'll later. thanks”

“Not if you sell it to your best friend for a buck and buy it back for two after the split!LOL”

“learn to stand alone......confident in your self worth...
be true to yourself and your divine nature....
participate and enjoy all the things you want to do whenever you want......get involved in life..... even if it means going solo...........if you have kids, get involved with their activities......have lots of different women friends that enjoy similar activities.....don't limit yourself .....be a free spirit....that is a very attractive trait ....
......howl at the moon....but dont get caught up in self pity... ...
smile a lot for real....you are a free being!!
oh yeah and get a body pillow to temporarily fill in the hole in the bed............”

“What is a body pillow and does it argue?
{:^)~”

“Get use to it!”

“it is a giant pillow...body length.....they do not argue .....”

“Get to know yourself. Learn to love yourself. Learn to take risks.

Surround yourself with friends. You don't need one person to provide all your needs. Everyone you meet can help fill each of those needs.

If younger women is what you want, I'm certain some of those college girls would be happy to go out with you. I'm always amazed when the young guys show interest in me.

I suggest older women. With an older women you don't have to worry about a biological clock. Older women tend to be looking for companions and activity partners. These things take pressure off the guy to be fathers, bread winners and eliminates a lot of games. Besides, nothing beats a mature, experienced older woman.

Of course at 35, I find myself avoiding the opposite sex. Everytime I allow myself to get close, I get hurt. Then again, better to have loved many times and suffered many broken hearts than to have loved once, gotten married and lived the rest of your life in misery. ;o)

Keep your chin up. It gets better. At least that's what everyone keeps telling me. :o)”

“My advice is not to stay up all night thinking about it.”

“More advice.... Strike up a meaningful conversation with any single women who offer relationship advice in TT threads.”

“Lobo, I've been "single" now for 21 years. It's sorta become "normal" if such a thing exists. All the posts before this one contain sound advice, though I'd like to add one more item:

Start with a friend. Be one. Remember: Friends will love you in spite of your faults; Lover's will leave you because of them.”

“Learn how to date again. I got divorced last year(yeah it's a major bummer). You gotta get out there and keep having fun. That'll help your sanity and make you look attractive to the opposite sex. Some will even want to join in with you if you're having fun.... Then it gets to be more fun...

Don't be afraid to try out the online dating services. Yahoo personals is where my best friend and I met our girlfriends. Pretty good deal, you can search based on age, race, religion, etc... Then check on interests, send messages to feel them out a bit. Plan the first meeting in a very public place though. There is some misrepresentation going on out there. I have met a very nice girl and made agood friend there also. I did have to go through a half dozen to meet herthough, so don't give up.

Good luck!”

“Sunshine - you shouldn't be too amazed that the young guys show an interest in you - you're a babe! ;-)”

“Yes Sunshine... if I met you at yer college or in town... I'd be thrilled to meet you whether I was 25, 35, 45 or 55...”

“Lobo, Sunshine's first sentence says a lot of it. Get a sense of who you are now, what you were up to 10 years ago (i.e. before this relationship started).

Its sort of llike dying for a lot of people: you shed an identity and find out that you are still there and you learn more about your real nature. What has died is not really you,, not essential to you.

I hope that makes some sense.”

“Great advice
thanks, folks - I needed that.

Oh yeah,
good luck, lobo.”

“Sorry to hear about it, Lobo.

But if ya can't change it - enjoy it! Take time to rediscover yourself - YOUR interests and things YOU want to do. Be comfortable in your own skin before you bring someone new into your life, don't depend on someone else for your happiness. You don't need to be part of a couple to be have a full life and be happy.

I just ended a long relationship and I didn't realize how tense I was until I got back the rhythm of my own life. Now I'm breathing a sigh of relief. AND I'm enjoying having the whole entire bed to myself instead of being scrunched up on a little piece of the edge - no more stiff necks! And that by itself is worth thinking twice, then twice more, and then again, about bringing someone into my life. It's great to have a best friend to share things with and I miss that, but when the time is right it'll happen again. However, my life is not on hold awaiting that moment.

Maybe this isn't good advice for you, but it works for me - I'm happy. Course, I'm easily amused. Good Luck!”

“Yeah what Twigeater said !!!!
And whatever you do DONT just settle for someone because youre lonely the perfect person is out there if you keep an open mind an heart an be a good friend no matter what cause even if someone's not right for you they may turn out to be your best friend!! I havent found that person yet an like Sunshine I've been hurt but I dont let it make me bitter the right one will come along
I hope if you have kids things go smoothly it's so much harder when they end up as bargaining chips GOOD LUCK”

“Lobo,
This website, as politically incorrect as it may appear does have some gems in it, especially the book lists. The newsletters, especially the early ones may have some of the type of info you are looking for. Lately, it has gotten pretty lame. It is no-holds-barred advice.
http://www.steelballs.com/default.htm”

“STAY THAT WAY!”

“Sorry to hear about your situation. I can't give any advice based on recent experience. Sounds like lots of good stuff above! I've watched my adult children experience the singles scene and broken relationships. Based on observing that I would say don't sell yourself short and settle for anything that comes along.

Side note: At the university I see a lot of people start relationships from being in school together. (I met my wife in the Student Union at Purdue)

Sunshine - I agree with PedXing!”

“Lobo, you're a firefighter and you're single? And you need advice?!?

Geez, the only thing that will get you more tail than that is to join a band.

A lead singer firefighter. Holy crapola. Got a big stick you can beat them off with?”

“tommy, I think he is tired of beating the big stick. Hence his request for advice.”

“Ten steps...

1. Get informed on subjects young women care about: clothes, college, movies, travel. Read, and leave Cosmopolitan on your coffee table.

2. Trade the Pontiac wagon for something that does not reek of middle age. No Caddies, Lincolns or any big car. No tiny cars, Geos or Miatas.

3. Don't comb your hair in an intricate, futile attempt to disguise the lack of it. She secretly ridicules you. Get a short, casual hair style.

4. Shave all facial hair unless you have a lip a mile-wide or no chin. To her, you're outta it, cop, leftover hippy, or obviously compensating for thinning hair.

5. Stop dressing like, her words, a dork. As a start, subscribe to Playboy, GQ, and Esquire. Also read John Molloy's Dressing For Success.

6. Do not wear more than $200 worth of jewelry unless you want to attract gold diggers. Let foolish, desperate guys trying to buy her interest with a 500 SEC "win" those bitches.

7. Never look in a bar. If she's there, she is looking for Mr. Right (a guy 3 to 7 years older who can marry her) not an older lover. Go to any and every wedding. She'll be there, drinking champagne, easy to meet, talk with, drink with and dance with.

8. Join a spa that's not a pickup spa. Make friends with the 30ish guys you like. Hang out. Talk. Be yourself. When she and girlfriends show up, easy does it. Don't be obviously interested.

9. Six million are coeds. Get your ass into classes she'd take: acting, save the environment, word processing. Be all business. She'll get used to you. Casual, slow, friendly, helpful.

10.”

“Suggested reading...

How to Dump Your Wife: The Divorce Book for Men
by Lee Covington, Fender Publishing Company 1999
Are you trapped in a bad marriage? Is your marriage about to blow? Order this book--you're gonna need it! Were you badly burned in your divorce? This is just the book for you! This wild, politically incorrect book was written by a woman who lives with a man who was totally cleaned out in a divorce, while his ex-wife lives like a queen.”

“Enjoy the heck out of it. =)”

“My favorite pickup line...

"You remind me of my second wife."

They are obliged to ask, "How many times have you been married?"

...the hookset

"Once"”

“*hack, hack*

bacpac, I was thinking, "What did you do to her?"”

“I've come to realize that relationships (the sexual kind, at least) are driven almost exclusively by biology. Our genes are running the show and we usually don't have the foggiest idea what they're looking for.

So don't knock yourself out looking for a partner. You'll find your match when your genetics fuse with another's. In the meantime your DNA may be good enough to attract several potential partners, which allows the pleasant pastime we call dating.”

“Sunshine, that is cause you already know me. Lines don't work with friends.

By the way, What's your sign?”

“bacpac, I know you would never find a date on ICQ, because you never respond to messages sent, LMAO!”

“bacpac, didn't you give me a sign that said "Dumb Ass!"? I hold it proudly with my hot pink clad hand and wrist. ;oP”

“Hey Steve ,
isnt that "our Jeans"???? LOL
I think hormones definitely get in the way at times!!!!!”

“I've been trying to get into this girl's genes for a while now!”

“Adopt a pet.
Bathe.
Wear cologne (a little goes a long way).
Shave.
Pay for dinner.
Have a sense of humor.
Don't look down the front of her dress.
Don't stare at her chest.
Call back.
Invite her to call YOU.
Wear clean underwear.
Don't spit.
Wear deoderant.
Do unto her as you would have her do unto you.
Now, get out there and compete!

Good Luck!”

“Put that slice of cheese down the front of your shirt!
Seriously, though, if you can hold out for at least six months and refrain from dating, I think you will be well rewarded. Spend some time to gain some self-knowledge. It would be a great time to begin formal meditation.”

“Jeans and genes are sometimes hard to distinguish. LOL”

“Just be yourself, not the jerk you`ve become because of this.

Find yourself first and get to know what`s left of you.

Don`t rush back into anything until you have time to get over the wreck you`ve just been through.

It takes time to heal back up, just give yourself the time it takes to do it.

Getting right back in the saddle isn`t always the right answer for everything.

If you just got run over by a runaway woman, you might want to get back up on your feet and look real hard at what just happened to you and not rush back in to make the same mistake again.

Do it like other problems and study on it a bit and watch the suckers and try to find one that will suck the life`s blood out of you a bit slower and maybe you`ll know what`s coming the next time you get to runing out of blood.


But, the best advice I can give you is to never take advice from me!

You do know I was just kidding,.... don`t you?
Everyone else gave you some good sound advice, I just wanted to play!

I hope you don`t find anyone you can live with, but someone you can`t live without. If it`s right, it`ll be the same for them too! I hope you always find the things you need to get you through another day!
Happy Hunting!”

“Lipstick, Sushine come on girls, don't be fooled by my rough exterior I am a sweet heart ;-) Sunshine, I don't remember insulting you, I sincerely appologize for whatever I did. If I do it again, you can spank me.

Lipstick, Sorry to you too, I promise to open all my mail.”

“Buy her lots of alcohol!”

“Do many good deeds, and then take your life in a way that is positive and that will create favorable karmic conditions for your next life.”

“Keep your wiener in your pants. As great as sex is, doing it before you know she?s the one will distort your judgment and hers (unless she is a slut). Not to mention STD?s, child support payments and a child being born into a less than desirable situation. If you?re in love you can love without the sex. When committed (read married) sex will be that much more special.”

“Gimme a break! Married in the "churches eyes," right? We are talking adults here. If they want to play doctor or just enjoy the intimacy of another's embrace, I say go for it. MG, your advice is fine for a fifteen year old.”

“So are you saying that when unmarried people have sex, she's a slut? what's that make him?”

“lucky!”

“Lobo- If you want a dog companion please give some thought to adopting an adult. There are breed specific adoption groups if you want a specific dog. The pound is also a good start.

As far as what to do, some of the advise above sounds good. The only thing I'd add, don't express bitterness to prospective dates. Nothing is more of a turn off. IMHO”