I AM PREGGENT!

“Know what?
I throwed up guts this mornin!
I do not know why I throwed up guts.
Then I was thinkin...

My cussin Rufus was a leetle puppy the nother day. Then, next weekend, I seen him at my grandaddy's and granny's hous.
Know what?
He ain't no leetle puppy no more!
Now he is a BIG bleedshound!
He awreddy had a leetle goober, but, know what?
Now he has SQUIRRELS TOO!

Anyways, we was resselin and he
LICKED MY PRIVATES! on a axident.
So now I AM PREGGENT but it is ok cuz I had my girly guts took off by my dokter so I will not have no babys.

But I did see my teats gettin a leetle bigger.

I would like to have some baby girl puppys but I can not but mebbe Skinny Kenny will let me dress him like a baby girl puppy cept he ain't as big as a leetle puppy cuz he is only big as a leetle skrawny kittykitty.”

“Somebody's been sniffing the ether again...”

“Uhm... congratulations? uh, Yeah.”

“What can you say about someone whose alter-ego is a female dog who can't spell?”

“Maybr you'll have kids that look just like Skinny Kenny.”

“Oh, my, gawd. It's a good thing you don't teach sex-ed at the school, lol.”

“gojo, you can pull this SHIT off with no beer???”

“capital letters will defeat matt's communist engine.”

“Rad, Your a foul mouth !$%&. LOL”

“phuck yoo!”

“Hey, I wrote out B@STARD but I used an "a". Why did it put in all that !$%& Sh!t?”

“To add to Dunadan........

and the alter-ego is a dog who can't get pregnant, but it......and was it by the cat or the puppy????”

“bastard”

“!$%&”

“DAMNIT”

“SHIT!”

“Hold on dog help is on its way!!!!”

“poppycock!”

“Ummm ... Belle ... I think you need some sek-shu-wal ed-ju-ka-shun.”

“Skinny Kenny IS NOT enjoying this!”

“Send my regards to Skinny Kenny.”