Death clock

“How much longer till the BIG DAY?

Death Clock”

“Apparantly God is angry at Minnesota because folks in Minneapolis didn't let some evangelist come to Minnesota. So according to this woman who wouldn't stop talking (on the bus on the way to the Mall of America [MOA]), this evangelist was going to heal everyone through God. And since this person's not coming now we're gonna have an earthquake before the year is out and now the economy is going down hill. I guess we have to pray for mercy. D'oh. Guess I'm going to hell.”

“That sucks.
Aparantly, I'm going to live to be 96.
All the other men in my family live to be 100.

Man, I gotta lay off the chicks and booze.

Then again, why would I want to live that long without chicks and booze?”

“Headlines: (circa 2050)

tommy, 96, Shot By Jealous Husband, Falls On Broken Liquor Bottle,
Dies A Premature Death”

“So, who wants to die with their boots on? Boots off? Tough choice, I'm sure.”

“Boots on? Who wears boots in bed with a lady friend?

Hey gojo! Geez man, how old do you think I am?!?”

“Maybe some of the randy gals on this board wear boots in bed!”

“tommy, we all know that you're pushing 50.”

“tick,tick,tick,TOCK the clock has stopped and where has the time gone. two beats, three beats, four the heart decides to beat no more and where has the time gone. life goes by and passes before the eyes, six more minutes before the brain dies and where has the time gone. the soul dies or the soul flies free, will it be the end of me, no, but I ask where has the time gone.”

“May 30, 2039 and I'm outta here.
I got about 38 more years to backpack.”

“No no, I only *look* like I'm 50.
But I *feel* like I'm 80.”

“Saturday, April 15, 2028
Seconds left to live...”

“I died 5 years ago.”

“they have me living until I'm 96...normal for my family but, I have my doubts....”

“This webpage is clearly the work of the Devil and I will not tell you that I have 30 years left!”

“2041, longer if i'm optimistic.”

“Thursday, February 29, 2052”

“49 years and 4 months and 21 days left for me.”

“Tuesday, June 29, 2055”