Forest Fire!

“This friend of mine (I'll call him Billy) started a forest fire this morning. You see, he was f'n around in a local forest/wildlife area. Well, it's been kinda dry lately, and he was bored & playing with fire, you know, burning twigs & leaves & stuff. Anyhow, he burns his finger, & he trots down the ditch to find some water to soothe it in the creek. Little did he know that he had left some leaves burning up in the ditch. When he trudged back up the hill, he saw that the leaves had caught a brush pile on fire, & it was burning & popping like crazy, and the undergrowth was catching the hills on fire all around it!! Holy Sheit! It's too big to put out, so he high-tails it back to his car (over a mile away!), and gets outta Dodge. Now he didn't think anyone saw him either come or go, because he didn't see anyone in the parking lot or in the woods. Ok, he was kinda rattled, and drove to the nearest town for a 6 pack to calm his nerves. Of course he was more than a little curious about the fate of the fire & forest, so he slammed a few brewskis & drove back to the forest & he could see a HUGE column of smoke rising up in the distance! Holy crappers! And the thing is, he couldn't stop laughing about it. Personally, I think he should feel ashamed, but the thought of burning a forest down for some reason sent him into convulsions of laughter! Well, he didn't stick around, and now he's afraid to go back to see what's happened. What an idiot! I think he really feels bad about it, but he also finds it pretty darn funny. Whaddya think he should do? Call the authorities & confess?”

“who are you, peeney?
why do you find it amusing, son? you're obviously old enuff to buy beer.
go confess, you fu@kin' dickweed!”

“It was billy not me! I don't find it funny at all.”

“ya cranky old f@rt!”

“eat a booger...”

“april fools! I made the whole thing up! HAHAHAHAHA. Now you look like an idiot, old f@rt.”

“duh peeney”

“you backpackers think your sooooo cool. well let me tell you, you SUCK.

You're all just a bunch of social rejects who have to go into the woods to be friends with the animals. HAHAHAHAHA

LOSERSSSSSSSS”

“Buddur,

Why did you do that? I am trying to clean my house and I am singing Billy, don't be hero...don't be a fool with your life...I only kinda sorta remember the song. At least give me the next line so that when I start singing into the broom handle again I can really get it going. It's torture.”

“Hey Peeney Weeney,

?^? ?(?¿?)? ?^?”

“I think peeney feels left out from our group. Poor thing, his village probably found a replacement idiot. What happened? Over qualification?”

“100 bucks and I won't tell on you!”