This sucks....

“...........GAD!

So many threads.
So little time.
I can't go visit all of them and I'm losing my grip on the gossip!
Does anyone have Cliff Notes of this sh!t?
I'm going crazy trying to keep up with everything that's going on here.

Has anyone heard from Genital Ben lately?”

“Gentle Ben said "Tell Mel I haven't forgot about the wonderful night in her tent with the Rocket Fuel and 2 llamas". He said you'd remember.........maybe.”

“And how!
A big fat doobie, and a warm AK47 under my pillow.”

“*Note to self*
Never sleep in the same tent as Mel.”

“Mel, as you read more, your reading speed will get faster. So read all the threads.”

“My problem is is that I have a life apart from this keyboard.
I don't have the time to sit here diddling the thing and reading everything written.
I leave town for a week, and I never catch up.”

“we should be trying to catch up with you, not the other way around.”

“Hey mel! Welcome home.

You didn't miss too much. Another bout of bit@*in with debates about guns and oil drilling.

The only good things you missed, but much catch up on, are a couple of newbies to the funny farm. Please check out the threads "Hello" and "Salutations". Mr. X has exposed to us his genitals and is now doing full body masages with whipped cream and trailbuster has offered himself up as our new Cabana Boy.”

“watdafuk”

“Hoover?
HOOVER?!
WD gives me a site on vacuum cleaners?

And gojo wants to blow a greenhouse?

MIGAWD!
What a state of affairs THIS is!

I think I'm going to have to go and check out the new cabana boys.”

“RIDGEPORT, Connecticut (AP) -- McDonald's has settled a lawsuit filed by a 420-pound man who claimed he was denied a job because of his weight.

Terms of the agreement were not disclosed.

Joseph Connor claimed in his lawsuit that the fast-food chain violated the Americans with Disabilities Act and state employment law. He demanded $300,000 for financial loss and severe emotional trauma, along with a job at McDonald's.

Connor's attorney, Gary Phelan, said Connor does not have a job with the chain, but beyond that he would not discuss the settlement.

"This matter has been resolved amicably, and without further litigation," Phelan said.

McDonald's issued a similar statement.

Connor had been offered a $6.75 an hour job as cook after attending a job fair in 2000, according to court documents.

However, over ensuing weeks, Connor claimed that after arrangements were made for him to get a uniform, he never got a call from management again.”

“I don't hjave time to go to a real one. In fact, I only know of one real one in my area and the line always sucks. So I got the best automatic car wash money could buy - $7.00.

My car still has salt on it!


That Sucks!”

“I decline to take this where I want to.”

“a Hoover?? if you don't have a Dyson, you might as well just kill yourself now.”

“I have to admit; the vacuum wasn't the first thing that popped into my mind.”

“I'm dead”

“LOL! just kidding...those commercials are the dumbest thing ever.”

“Is Lyra's last name Dyson?














Contemplating: "should I post that message? If I do should I add an emoticon? Am I gonna get attacked? How well do I know this Lyra person? How many friends does Lyra have? Do I think too much" Do I listen to myself"?”

“no. it's my middle name. bastard!”

“Uh oh.....”

“This makes me sick.
Posted on Tue, Jul. 19, 2005 Eight Lake Superior area beaches closed today”

“Check out my new swim suit.


”

“Beautiful, lumberzac.”

“Not to worry, thru natural selection, the survivors will soon be immune to the effects of e-coli!”

“oooo...that is so sad :(”

“E coli is blown way out of proportion. I think the reason people get sick from it now is because too many people are too bacteria and germ phobic. No one builds up immunities anymore. Then they get deathly ill from the littlest contamination.”

“Large Man with Dead Body: Who's that then?
The Dead Collector: I dunno, must be a king.
Large Man with Dead Body: Why?
The Dead Collector: He hasn't got #&%!$ all over him”

“I'm with ya squirrelbait. We've made it a point to expose our kids to as many germs as possible. Studies have even shown that very early exposure to many germs reduces chances of big problems later in life, like asthma and allergies.

"Dirt don't hurt". "You'll eat a pound of dirt before you die". We like those sayings. Don't get me wrong, we are very clean. But we don't freak out over a little dirt on a piece of food that dropped on the ground. Boil baby bottles? Yeah, right.”

“I love to swim with poop!”

“As a new father, you don't have much choice, do you?”

“Well, the kids are 3 and 5 now, so they aren't putting everything in their mouth anymore. But that sure was true a few years ago. We know quite a few parents that would berzerk if anything resembling dirt would go near their baby's mouth. And would boil everything in the house. What paranoia!”

“ewwwwww.........”

“Report: Record beach health warnings issued

The nonprofit environmental group said nearly 20,000 closings and health advisory days were ordered in 2004 -- a 9 percent increase from last year and the highest number since the organizations began the tracking 15 years ago.

Testing the Waters 2005
A Guide to Water Quality at Vacation Beaches

This is a long article, but many people enjoy the Great Lakes. Swimming in the Great Lakes (pdf) (The link is in the above Report.)

---

Of course, the increase might be due to additional testing.
last edited: 7/28/05 8:48:14 PM”

“I can't get e-mail out from Waynesville, Sylva, Bryson City and Maryville. At Maryville, where it used to work, I get a message, "Pop-up window blocked," whenever I try to reply or compose a message. An administrator here has no idea on how to get around it.

Syvla and Bryson City have the same server, which is too slow. A time-out error always occurs. I don't know what the problem is at Waynesville this year, but it used to work.

I guess I'll have to use the US mail system.”

“Can ya turn the pop up blocker off?”

“Depending on your server/software, holding down the Ctrl key ss you click on the compose mail (or whatever) you can get in. The control key can bypass the pop-upblockers in some programs.”

“Thanks, I'll try it next time I get over to Maryville.”

“http://www.abqtrib.com/news/2007/nov/14/blast-injures-albuquerque-man-house-damaged/

A man using a vacuum cleaner to suck gasoline out of a vehicle was burned and his house damaged when the fuel exploded, the Albuquerque Fire Department said.

The department..........”

“This could have been placed under the "Hold my beer and watch this" thread”

“Darwin thread maybe? ;-)”

“It is painfully clear the man never read Dave Barry's Complete Book of Guys. He talks about competitive vacuum gas sucking in that book. It is wonderful.”

“guess it wasn't a wet/dry vac huh?

question is...was he trying to drain the tank, or had he spilled gasoline in the interior?......not that it matters, a boom is a boom is a boom.......it's just more understandable if he was cleaning up a spill than if he was siphoning gas.....though not by much.”

“There's a Darwin award nominee all right.”

“Fume/air mix prolly found just the right balance in the vicinity of the motor's brushes. Steadily arc, those brushes do.”