That TURKEY spam sux

“No, not the man, spam is cool...I'm talking the new Turkey Spam in a can...who's tried it and what is your opinion?”

“I'm scared to try it. Some things (Spam) just don't look like you should ever try to eat it.”

“SPAM comes in a jive turkey flay-vah?”

“Of course Turkey Spam would suck.
That ain't Spam.
It's like Spam LITE.
Spam LITE?
What?!
Spam is only Spam when it's greasy, fatty, salty, slurpy out of the can, covered with ketchup and gives you indigestion.
Now THAT'S Spam!”

“That fits the definition that I'm familiar with mel.”

“What?! You thought it would be good? Silly Troll, Spam is for the garbage.”

“No, no...
"Spam", LOVES Spam!
Spam is good!
Spam is good sliced, diced, fried, and cold out of the can.
All that nice pale jelly stuff.”

“I found that the turkey Spam is full of air bubbles and when you try to fry it you have alot popping in the pan therefore you get splattered with grease plus the stuff basically has no taste what so ever! Regular old Spam for the Spammasta!”

“I wondered how long it would take you to reply to this thread Spam!”

“Turkey anything SUCK`S especially bologna.
peuw~^*#@@>!!!!!!!!”

“Spam, spam, spam,spam.......I'm a lumberjack and I'm OK........”

“Spam, spam, spam, spam......I'm a lumberjack and I'm OK.”

“spam, spam, spam, spam, .....I'm a lumberjack and I'm ok.”

“spam, spam, spam, spam, .....I'm a lumberjack and I'm ok.”

“Spam, spam, spam,spam.......I'm a lumberjack and I'm OK........”

“Spam, spam, spam,spam.......I'm a lumberjack and I'm OK........”

“Damn, it wasn't even funny the first time!”

“Willow- Master of the multiple post.”

“Your getting to Monty Python songs slammed together there Willow. Please go back and study your tapes some more.”

“uhh............Sorry about that.........will check those tapes........won't do it again............woops..........feeling rather stupid...........”

“By the way are you calling me a TURKEY?”

“SPam The MAster SPAM burrito man! Oh yea!!!!!!!!”

“LOL!”

“Do you know which U.S. state has the highest per capita spam consumption? It's not even close -- their consumption is double the next competitor...”

“NY?”

“my guess is MN”

“Hawaii!!!!!! YEAH I win. Official Spam expert!!”

“Want to hear me mangle another Python song about Spam again?”

“I know more about Spam than... well....that guy above named Spam!! Yeah Happy Day!”

“in ure dreams”

“Hawaii is correct. It is even served in many restaurants there!”

“:P”

“ygtbsm!imported spam! Hey SPAM aint you fighten for yer title! LOL Good job willow!Yo bear U WIN!!”

“Turkey hamburger sux.
Turkey hotdogs sux.
Turkey jerky sux, too.”

“Approximately 45 million turkeys are killed each year at Thanksgiving. Before ending up as the holiday centerpiece, these gentle birds spend five to six months on factory farms, 15,000 of them packed tightly in dark sheds, with only 3 square feet of space per bird. To keep the overcrowded birds from scratching and pecking each other to death, factory workers slice off a portion of their upper beaks and toes with a hot blade. No anesthetics are used during this agonizing procedure.3

Turkeys must stand mired in layers of waste while urine and ammonia fumes burn their eyes and lungs. They are fed antibiotics and are purposely bred to gain an enormous amount of weight in a short period of time.4 This leads to painful, swollen joints, crippled feet, collapsed lungs, and heart attacks. Hundreds of thousands of turkeys suffer from “round heart syndrome” because of the stress of confinement and genetic selection.5 Millions of turkeys don’t even make it past the first week, sometimes drowning in water dishes or starving to death when eating with their mutilated beaks is too painful.6

A PETA investigation of Minnesota-based Crestview Farm (Minnesota is the number two turkey-producing state in the country), a property of Willmar Poultry Company, revealed that the farm manager repeatedly bludgeoned with a metal pipe 12-week-old turkeys who were lame, injured, ill, or otherwise unsuitable for slaughter and consumption.

The injured birds were thrown onto piles of other dead and dying birds and tossed into a wheelbarrow for disposal. Birds who were overlooked were kicked, had their necks wrung, or were beaten with pliers— all in full view of other terrified birds. The Minnesota Turkey Growers defended the farmer, claiming that these practices were “standard.”


At the slaughterhouse, turkeys are hung upside down by their weak and crippled legs. Their heads are dragged through an electrified “stunning tank,” which immobilizes them but does not render them unconscious. Many birds dodge the tank and, therefore, are fully conscious when their throats are slit. If the knife fails to properly slit the birds’ throats, they are scalded alive in the tank of hot water used for feather removal.

No Health Food

Turkey is completely devoid of fiber and carbohydrates and loaded with even more fat and cholesterol than many cuts of beef (for instance, a turkey’s leg contains about 72 milligrams of cholesterol and is 47 percent fat).10 Studies show that as much as 90 percent of all supermarket birds contain campylobacter or other bacteria, and diarrheal illness related to the foods that we eat strikes millions and kills many thousands in the United States each year.11 The United States Department of Agriculture (USDA) estimates that salmonella is present in 35 percent of turkeys.12 According to standards set by the Food Safety and Inspection Service, it is acceptable for up to half (49.9 percent) of the ground turkey purchased by consumers to be contaminated with salmonella.13

A survey of 451 federal inspectors, conducted by Public Citizen, the Government Accountability Project, and the American Federation of Government Employees, showed that safety inspectors were concerned that poultry products are also contaminated with animal feces, vomit, and metal shards because of lax standards set by the USDA.14 In an average lifetime, just one American devours 65 turkeys.15”

“*”