ten essentials (decadent)

“Anyone who thinks a map and compass is one of the true ten essentials hasn't graduated to the decadent school of backpacking. Ultraliters need not apply....

Beer
Steak
Camp chair
Martini glass (w/copious refills, & olives)
Ice (to shake martini's around)
Roof
2 inch thick Thermarest
Fresh bloody mary's (with celery) each AM
Beer wench/Cabana boy (libation delivery and mummy pre-warmer)
Beer”

“Hey, you forgot your umbrella, camp shoes, and BBQ/grill!”

“That's what you get when you hire a guide!! For the low ,low price of maybe $500.”

“Mel are you listening?”

“" Anyone who thinks a map and compass is one of the true ten essentials hasn't graduated to the decadent school of
backpacking."

I don't know what school you graduated from but map and compass is more than one. And you stated beer twice..... HMMMMMMM.”

“Strider, my man........ where ya been?? Maybe I just missed it, but haven't seen ya on here in awhile. And then you return with a thread on decadent backpacking. Me thinks there's a story here???!!? :-) Moooooohahahaaha”

“I need three things:
Knife
water container (metal)
My TNF mountain light parka.”

“Fosters Oil Can and a $9 Macanudo.”

“what is a nine dollar macanudo ? and does it require batteries?”

“I-am-OM:

1.) Cigar
2.) Not if your first name is Monica”

“Bag
Bivy
Clif Bar”

“1. Team of Porters (Lama equipped)
2. Fan Boy/Girl
3. Kitchen staff
3. Butler
4. Personal Trainer
5. Secretary
6. Inflatable Moon Walk
IN QUANTITY:
7. Alcohol
8. Wesson Oil
9. Whipped Cream
10. Time

assuming you picked a multi-talented staff.......”

“Now THAT'S some multitasking!”

“Hand truck”

“Plano Super Saltwater DeLuxe 2000 tackle box.
Down riggers.
Spare anchor.”

“...and a 25 hp. outboard to get you home when the wind comes up!”

“It would be funny to see someone going down the trail with their gear on a handtruck!”

“Briar, I think that's just strider's packing order. Start with beer on the bottom and restock when you get to the top, lol.”

“WC
I have seen somebody going down the trail with their gear on a hand truck but I'm not gonna mention Gojo's name.”

“Wesson Oil and an inflatable childs wading pool.
Yes, I am listening.
You forgot the large solar shower.
And...
Five pounds of fishing tackle, Power Bait, and worms.
Comfortable camp shoes.
A nice bath towel.
Two beers for each day you're out (maybe even three).
Smoked oysters and baby clams.
Brie.
Drunken Layover Pudding Pie (in my cookbook).
A one pound Gallo dry salami (better than a cigar).
A quart of Baileys Irish Cream (for your morning coffee creamer).
Tomato juice (Spicy V-8) to go in your beer, to make into Tomato Beers.
Some cheese and jalapeno bagels.
Some really fattening pastries.
NOT pasties.”

“Why no pasties (are you a prude?)
Please tell me about v8 and beer, thats a new one!”

“I used to carry a 10lb. inflatable raft on a lot of trips to mountain lakes. However, the usual arrangement was for someone else to carry the tent. Now that I'm a bit older (wiser?) I'll admit that it hasn't hit the trail in quite awhile.”

“...I also don't miss the headrush from inflating that thing by mouth at high altitudes!”

“(blow-up doll raft??!?)”

“Blow up boats and rafts are why God invented llamas.
I said no pasties.
How can you be a prude with NO pasties?
A prude would be someone WITH a G string!
Flyguy?

YOU'VE NEVER HEARD OF TOMATO BEER?
Oh, you poor sheltered creature!

That's an Alaskan Bloody Mary.

I'd never heard of them either, until I became a bartender and somebody ordered one.
Mind you, this was back in 1974.
Try a good light beer, slowly add to that, a half cup of tomato juice (spicy is best), add a shot of tobasco sauce, and dash of salt. STIR GENTLY.
Or it will explode all over the table.
Nectar.
Pure nectar.”

“Never found a good light beer! I see your point(s) about the pasties now!”

“Hi back at ya, lizs. No real story behind the thread per se. I just thought it would be interesting to draw out some comments from the troops who sometimes approach things from the opposite end of the spectrum (anti-ultraliters?). Especially interesting to contemplate some of the things on other's lists that actually might find their way into a real pack.

25 HP outboard, not likely.

Whipped Cream... now there's a useful condiment!

I have to admit that I have discovered a many of the items on other's lists, down in my pack someplace from time to time. All and all, tho, Mel, your list is the most attractive. Of course, you have those four legged friends to help out. As for your nectar.... same recipie, I learned to call it by a simpler name - Redbeer. Yum.

Beer on the list twice - that's a mistake?”

“condoms!”

“Be still my heart! I think I'm in love. strider, would you marry me? Oops, wait I'm already married. Can we just hike together?”

“I'd put beer on the list four times just to make sure I couldn't forget it.
That's impossible anyway.
I'd forgotten about Redbeer...
That's the name the old crocs in the bar I was working in ordered it.
They also called a shot of whiskey a hooker.
You should have seen how big my eyes got when some grizzled looking old guy leaned over the bar towards me and asked me to get him a hooker.
EEEEEEEEEEEK!
He wants me to do WHAT?!”

“

Use protection!”

“LOL at super troll's "multi- talented staff". I got one of those!”

“They are yucky!”

“Their is a bunch of them on the mini-me thread!”

“Kahlua for late night coffee or hot chocolate. A dark beer or even a regular one if it doesn't taste like air. Smoked oysters, kippers, real butter, eggs, homemade beef jerky, Greek olives, extra sharp cheddar cheese. Folding frying pan. Reading lamp with longlife batteries. A good fire with a clear sky to watch.”

“Pamster, I too am married - and happily so, much to my continuing amazement. So, I guess we'll just have to settle for an illicit affair.

I can see it now, just the two of us, off in the shadows on our camp chair for two, snuggled around our hot toddys and baked onions, hoping no one over at the fire catches a whiff of the delicious aroma....”

“Nothing against beer.... but even my canoe camping friends from Wisconsin pack whiskey instead of beer.... space & weight considerations.... and mixes well with nearly anything. (Koolaid packs, for example.)

By the way, all you decadents...

Happy Easter!

Peace,
theiowanerd”

“Have you missed the lightweight joys of Everclear?
It makes one hell of a Screaming Purple Jesus.”