Hunting Tips from PETA

“-The cutest, rarest animals are always the best to kill!”

“Let's start a restaraunt where we genetically create our own animals, but only one of each. Then we change huge amounts of money because each dish is unique. There would be no way to get that dish again. Just think about it.”

“-When hunting Giant Pandas', always aim for the heart, not the head, so you won't ruin a nice fireplace rug.”

“I worked with a chick last night who swore that she's been buying and eating lion meat! Anyone ever heard of such a thing? I think she might have been full of something other than lion meat.”

“I used to eat lunch at a restaurant that had a sign that read:
"Lyons Meet Here Every Thursday".”

“I once lived near a local market with a gourmet meat department hat included frozen African game animals. I don't specifically remember Lion though.

I saw Julia child shopping there a few times.”

“Bald eagle helper is available in a supermarket aisle near you.

Ever notice that tuna doesn't taste quite as good since they made it dolphin safe? Flavor is a little off.”

“LOL!”

“Mature chimpanzees are a bit tough so I prefer the infants. They are sooooo cute when you cut their throats and they try to gasp for air.”

“Maybe if the slaughter house doesn't kill the animal before butchering it, the meat could be sold as rare and unique as coming from a 4 legged beast, a three legged beast, a two legged beast, a one legged beast, even a no legged beast for briskets, organs etc... Much cheaper than genetic engineering.”

“A guy was walking along the beach and he comes along a guy shooting sea gulls.
The first guy says "Hey, sea gulls are protected. Why are you shooting them?"
Second guy says "I didn't know they were protected. I shoot them and eat them."
First guy says "Eat them? What the heck does sea gull taste like anyway?"
Second guy replies "I'd say the flavor is somewhere between a bald eagle and spotted owl."”

“Stop all animal experimentation now! Use antivivisectionists instead.”

“You know how seafood reseraunts allow you to pick your lobster. I want to pick my own cow damn it.”

“I understand that McDonalds in Beijing is offering a new item on their menu called McPuppy. The kids get to play with their food before they eat it.”

“I once ate Beaver, but it tasted like Tuna.”

“I heard that Micky D's stole the "puppy" concept from my local Manderin Garden. By the way, adult monkey meat is just as tender as baby monkey if you marinate it first!”

“-PETA Puppy Stew
Add 2-4 young puppy meat to 1 quart of chicken stock.

Dice wide variety of non-organic vegetables, add to pot.

Add 1/2 tsp of "Essence of Spotted Owl", 1 cup of Blue Whale Blubber and 1 crushed eye of Bald Eagle.

Let cook on low for 2 hours.”

“gojo, I've eaten ate that restaurant, too!”

“oops, "at" not "ate"”

“We invite you to join us as we hunt endangered and protected doves with Dubya. Yummmmmmmy!!”

“When hunting bear, aim for the head, that way the pelt can still be used to make a coat or a nice rug. If you are simply looking for a trophy kill, aim for the heart so you can still mount the head.”

“

Gun dog?”

“PETA = People Eating Tasty Animals”