"C.H.I.M.P.S." like mtn. gal.

“Many of these threads contain postings from CHIMPs (Chronically Heterosexually Involved Monogamous Persons). Some threads have even been started by them.

The presence of these CHIMPS clearly influences the tenor and quality of the TT community. I understand the even the Webmaster here has openly dedicated himself to following this path in a well known religious ritual.

Some people tell you that Chronic Heterosexual Monogamy is simply the natural way to live and that it is not a personal choice. Some blame this chosed lifestyle on a God.

After 17 years as a CHIMP, I am living proof that Chronic Heterosexual Monogamy (defined as two or more years of heterosexual monogamy)can be treated. We can learn to choose other paths. Despite some close calls, I have maintained my abstinence for 5 years.

Yes, I have to take it one day at a time. I know that I am always at risk of relapsing.

I'd like to know, how have others avoided this condition... or how have you maintained your recovery. Do you attend HMA (Hetersexual Monogamists Anonymous) meetings.

How about people with other partner specific addictions?”

“Trolling as yourself again, Ped?”

“Ped, are you gathering info on us so you can write a paper, lol. I definitely think that marriage is not for everyone. Some people should not even live together for date for long amounts of time, but this is the way most of us are socialized.”

“Ped is a Heteraphobe?”

“B.O.B.

nuff said!

>;oP
mooohahahahaaaaaa”

“LOL! Mtn Gal.

I almost became one, until I realized that Heterosexuality doesn't have to lead to Chronic Monogamy.

Besides, I have to confess, Hetoroexuality is so thoroughly ingrained in me that I am helpless to change it. With therapy, mediation, and the blessings of the Goddesses, I have learned to think of my Heterosexuality as a blessing.”

“No, that's not quite nuff said. I must not be hip anymore. I wonder when that happened...”

“And the AmyG robin went Bob Bob Bobbin' along!”

“Ped, you monogaphobe you. ;-)”

“Help, I think I'm a lesbian trapped in a man's body”

“Yeah fly, I tried that excuse too.

Pamster: I can cope with monagamy, it don't scare me much, at least not when its episodic. Its only when it gets chronic that I fear relapsing into abject CHIMPdom. };->”

“Why don't you tell them the real real secret to yer recovery.

I won't tell the whole secret but it ends like this:

Ped: Oh please baby please take me back! I'll change, I promise.

Woman: Stay out. You need a bath, but you ain't gettin one here. I filed a restraining order and called the cops.

(sound of siren)”

“Heterosexuality is the incubator of life. Oh sure there may be a species of worm that can transgender and reproduce, but who wants to be a worm?”

“We evolved from worms!!!”

“Can somebody please explaine to me what the fuk yall are talking about in a way that us regular people can translate? I ain't got a degree in psychosh!t.”

“Some of us have evolved further than others??”

“Monogamy is fantastic once a month, when it pays off! LOL”

“NO FREAKIN' WAY...I just read the first post (even though I posted on this thread a while ago) for the first time.

I thought the "C.H.I.M.P.S." in the title were wrt the 70's Chimps TV program where they used actual "dressed-up" chimps and dubbed in hilarious dialogue.

Boy was I wrong!”

“Sequential monogamy unless it's inconvenient.”

“Gawd Budder! Don't you know anything? C.H.I.M.P.S. wasthat show 'bout the motorcycle cops in Cali! Poncherello is still my hero. I wear all my polyester shirts open to the navel and I'm still saving for that gold Firebird! 8)”

“BacPac spotted another problem with CHIMPS... they reproduce.”

“And another thing BacPac.... thanks to Advances in modern technology Lesbians can get pregnant without havin' to pay their dues. And gay men impregnate women without payin' theirs!”

“David Crosby is my daddy!”

“buzzzzzzzzzzz!

>%^P”

“Lance Link; Secret Chimp....
Though I watched ALMOST no TV in the '70s, I did NOTICE that show.

After 20.5 C.H.I.M.P. years, I don't remember how old I actually am.”

“I confess, I'm a C.H.I.M.P., but as I confessed on another thread, I ain't blind or dead either. LOL!”

“Ooops, that's 19.5 C.H.I.M.P. years.
Damn, my math skills are going and there is now hair on my back.
I think my arms are getting longer too!”

“i'm a P.I.M.P.”

“Profitably Involved Malevolent Person?”

“I have no clue what this thread is about? Is it about how most of you are married and old?

I am sick of one night stands. It gets old after awhile. Once in a while you score a hottie, then other times you can't believe what you did. I just want some chick in the middle, who I don't have to worry about leaving me, but who is at least a little but pretty. Is that to much to ask?”

“buzzzzzzzzzzz!

Lissen! aimee gee's shavin' her back again!”

“ewwww, you must have aged her!”

“CX, sounds like you want a wife!”

“1) On TT, a thread is about whatever is posted there and however people want to respond to it.

2) Just because I started the thread gives me no special insight into what it is about now.

3) When I made the first post, I had an (antinomiam) impulse to describe being in a long term committed heterosexual relationship as part of a syndrome from which I was trying to recover.

4) Mostly, I like to gently and playfully invite and encourage people to throw aside their assumptions and look at things from new and different angles.

I think this is different from trolling, because I like to provoke thought and silliness, and perplexity, not anger or pain. I try to avoid making anyone feel small when I do this.

5) Thats not too much to ask CX. However, assuming you are a guy, it could lead you to become a C.H.I.M.P.”

“Now that Buzzin is jess Aimee's way of saying she don't need a secure love connection, 'cause Bob gives her anything she'd desire from any man, 'cept chocolates.”

“I'm with Tom Terrific and Buddur. Nothing like a bunch of chimpanzees dressed in ultra-funky clothes interacting with dubbed-in voices driving around in dune buggies.”

“oh c'mon now, Ped, let's be fair...BOB can't program the VCR or change my oil either! pfffft

;o)”

“Wow Aim me... thanks fer stickin' up fer guydom. Even if ya is a seff proclaimed technosexual.

BTW: who programs Bob and oils him?”

“Bob, eh? I didn't name mine. Maybe that's why he up and quit on me. *sigh*”

“Bob, I know him real well! His friend is Neil, what a piece of man meat!”

“Hey, PedXing, if you're trying to overcome your heterosexuality, perhaps you'd like someone to introduce you to an... um... to an alternative lifestyle?

Hmmm?

8-)”

“Damn! This thread's sicker than the Pet Rad's Weiner thread.”

“ROTFLMAO!!!!”

“Sunshine, gotta go titanium...lightweight, dontcha know? ;o)

oh, and b.o.b. aint a name...
it's a battery-operated-boyfriend. mooohahahaaa”

“I was gonna say AmyG . . . that buzzin was straight from a set of "D" batteries!!!”

“LOL Sunshine...”

“Nightvision, thanks for your offer or suggustion.

However, I have already confessed to my incurable heterosexuality. Maybe it was all in my genes, or maybe it was my fifth grade teacher who wore skirts and tight shirts and gave me funny feelings... but I am now hopelessly addicted to heterosexual pursuits. It is all I can do to try to satisfy my sexual urges where it is safe... far from the confines of Chronic Monogamy. As my pal Paul said: "it is better to unmarry than to turn" (into a CHIMP).

Maybe you could help others before they become as entrenched in the heterosexual life style as I now am.”

“FOR THE RECORD... it was lancelot link, super chimp.”

“lee,
wouldn't the BPer version run on AAs? As AmyG said, it's titanium, probably with a DWF. But I bet, unlike the fanatics with their toothbrushes, the ladies aren't cutting off a couple inches to save weight.”

“BTW, AmyG, I think Petzl makes the new ultralight B.O.B, called the Dikka.”