Wilderness Limericks

“There once was a hiker named Trailbuddy
Who when hiking his cheeks became ruddy
Hike up the hill to the peak
Come down and cross a creek
Now my damned boots are all muddy!”

“He is known as a boy of Cabana
Oh his head he wore a bandana
He'd cook the meals
Then rub some sore heals
He'd even peel your bananna!”

“O' deliver me for the pain this is makin'
Climbed this hill now my body is achin'
Give me a Badger rub
And a belly full of grub
And no longer the hill i'll be hatin'”

“There once was a hiker named Rick
Who came across a deep creek
The cold water came to his knee
And then to the belly
It was so cold it shrunk his d---”

“There is a hound dog named Buddur,
who is loved very much by his Mudder.
Who out of his a$$
eminates bug repellant gas
And his Master swears it smells like his Brudder!”

“In Michigan there lived a lass
Whose beauty no one could amass
Her stride tried and true
A heart kind thru and thru
To hike with Adventure Girl, I'd never pass!”

“buncha kindie gardners!!!”

“Upon this very day in Spring
I met a girl who was meant for my ring
Alas! confusion and fear
We have parted this year
Now only beer can make my heart sing!”

“6 million ways to die!”

“Choose ONE!”

“I was walkin in the woods,
And seen somethin good!
It was a leaf rat
(he was leetle, but fat!)
And I ate off his leetle rat hed!”

“oh when will this madness pass?
endless semester is kickin my ass
soon to be grad
on the beach I'll be glad
with cabana boys, mixed drinks and grass
...uhh...grass skirt, I mean
(dat didn't rhyme)
>:P~”

“I came upon a girl named AmyG
Her eyes so bloodshot she couldn't see
I passed her the pipe
By dawn's early light
And now we are both very hungry”

“Would that I could
you know I would
but can`t, can`t do dip
so, I`d give a big flip
if it was any good”

“It`d mean the world to me
to ever be loved by AmyG
it`d be a mistake in the makin`
`cause I`m supposed to be taken
so, that could never be”

“Nature is like an overflowing well
it may run out, but when pray tell
and what is now, or used to be
may be no more for us to see
if it falls apart and the last one fell”

“Nature just being nature and her at her best
endless and yet unyelding, she`ll never rest
all of it is hers, from the Earth to the sky
the strong will live on and the weak will die
so, is it Mother Nature, or Father Time you test”

“for being so shameless a flirt
or maybe tis just my tight shirt
I get such amor
from TTers galore
but alas I leave them in the dirt

can't help it my nature is truly
to love 'em and leave 'em unduly
sometimes I do fancy
but soon again get antsy
free spirit to wander unruly

>;^P”

“How much longer will it last, no one can tell
though it looks rugged, in truth it`s frail
and it looks like it will always stay
but in truth it could all be blown away
and us wake up to find it has gone to Hell”

“Just to tame this old wild world, I think I can
I dreamed one day I`d grow to be a mountain man
and with that goal in mind, I dreamed and planed
to live a life, with the things that are at hand
and the wild fires in me now, I still long to fan”

“To test the bonds of what is allowed
do you spare the rod and spoil the child
and if you should, what will he do
what was never taught, he never knew
and do you wonder why they grow up wild”

“Amy the debutante grandly appeared,
All the guys in the room stood and cheered,
'Cuz they were impressed
By the way she was dressed...
It was obvious she was well-reared!”

“There was a young woman from Exeter
And all the young men threw their sex at her
So just to be lewd
She'd lie in the nude
While her parent, a pervert
Took pecks at her”

“To pluck a moment, as off a vine
would be a lark and that be fine
and have it be a real good one too
and have it be mine and it be true
but, you do know, it`s just a line”

“Disgusting!

1-800-DRLAURA”

“This limerick is SO FILTHY that it would offend you, so most of
the really filthy words have been replaced with "di-dah."

Di-dah-di di-dah-di di-dah,
Di-dah-di di-dah-di di-dah;
Di-dah-di di-dah.
Di-dah-di di-dah?
Di-dah-di di-dah-di di-fu”

“I know that made little sense but the anti-profanity software got me. That last line is supposed to end in 'ck'.”

“I once tented with Joe Bloze
Who hated and feared mosquitoes,
So he ate garlic feasts
To repel the buzzing beasts,
And I had to chew off my nose.

based loosely on a true wilderness experience. The names and consequences have been changed to protect the guilty.”

“this thread meant to celebrate the earth
filled to the brim with smut and bad mirth
is sinking so fast
as has in times past
a new theme doth quickly give birth”

“What has it got to do with dirt
and how could any of this hurt
with everyone having a blast
and with no blame being cast
oh, and AmyG I loved the shirt”

“I have a love for all of the things wild and free
and have no need to touch `em to have `em touch me
and it`s strange it effects me so much
it`s all the things of nature and such
there`s too many things and places I`ll never get to see”

“8D”

“Thought once that life was fair
it`s not so, I will just share
sometimes things can get mighty tough
a few have it all and others not enough
the thing is, so few people care”

“The law and everyone said it was just fait
my little woman and best friend got ate
and it all happened so fast there was just no way for sure to tell
the law tells me they must have been lovers and that went to Hell
they didn`t know I`d smeared their sleeping bag with grizzer bear bait


Kidding,....just kidding!LOL”

“went for a stroll.
feel in a hole.
plooked your sister
got a blister,
on my pole.”

“More hurt and pain than I ever knew
how much more of it must I go through
just living every day like it was some kind of game
and you knowing the truth, but acting just the same
you may have been kidding, but I meant every word when we said I do”