Sleeping Disorder?

“I know this seems wierd, but I have this problem that has made every girlfriend that I've ever had irate; I cannot be awakened once I'm sound asleep. I will say rude things (without knowing I said it) to the person trying to wake me, normally it's tame stuff like "please leave me alone" or "go away". Last night my girlfriend needed to talk to me at 1:am (?),
but she said that I called her names and said rude things and hit her (I do not know if I believe that last part?).
So, do you guys have any advice for me. BESIDES changing girlfriends! How do you wake a person without getting hit?”

“If she can't figure out how to wake you "gently", I'd say its defianately time for a new gal.”

“Uh... I'm probably the wrong guy to ask for relationship advice.”

“Bullocks”

“water pistol! >;^P”

“If she can't find where to wake you up at where you won't hit her...get a new girl.

If you want to learn how to sleep lighter...have kids.

I'm pretty funny”

“My wife always laughs during sex - no matter what she's reading.”

“She wasn't laughing last night!”

“Nothing like hearing those five words every guy longs to hear, "get-off-me-I'm-done!"

I got no idea lefty.”

“Maybe you should only drink a six-pack before bed time instead of the whole case.”

“Yeah, what bacpac said,both times!!! LOL!”

“Sleep in a straight jacket and a gag.”

“maybe she likes the smackin!”

“You are a very sound sleeper like myself. Believe it or not what cured me is switchback's advice. After kids, you never sleep the same again. LOL

BTW bacpac, That's because she was sleeping!”

“LOL!!!!”

“We had a guy like that at our fraternity house. He would wake up swinging.

People need to know that waking you up is a process. Have them try shaking you gently, but quickly, with a straight arm a number of times and give you 5 minutes or so to completely wake up.

Good luck!”

“Phil living in a frat house? I would have loved to have seen those days! If you could compare yourself top one pertson on the movie Animal House, who would it be Phil? I could see you as the intelligant Otter type.”

“Phil = Bluto”

“Thank you for all of the advice. I stopped by the Fire Dept. that I pass on my way home, and the Fireman, John, said that he too is a very sound sleeper but that the loud noises and lights wake him up. So, I told 'Broom Hilda', uh, I meant to say my lovely girlfriend,,,,,, that I will buy one of those air horns from a sporting goods store- so that she can wake me up from a distance.
I agrree with you guys about having kids; I once dated a woman who had a very young daughter and I would wake up about 2-3 times per night to check on her. I would hear her moving around and wake up and run to the other room. After the relationship ended I went back to my normal sleeping patterns. BTW, I won't be having any kids, my dog and I both are fixed.”

“When my first child was born, I swear I could hear her breathing from the other room while she spept. I would wake up with a start just to check on her.

BTW lefty, nothin's for sure...I know someone that was fixed for several years and ended up with another kid. The doctor said the operation "didn't take". Can you believe that sh!t.”

“oohh Pleeease God, let me be able to sleep like that, just once in awhile.”

“Switch ? That just means the doctor didn?t do the operation correct. If you bread them and fry them up in a little peanut oil there will be no more youngins. I know some ranchers that can fix your buddy up permanent like for free. Just have him get in line with the young bull calves.”

“I are smart!
spept = slept

Mmmmmmmmm, fried vas deferens! Prolly tastes like chicken.heheh.”

“Anyone ever try Mountain Osters?”

“Ersters!”

“?Anyone ever try Mountain Oysters??

City folk?
It will soon be branding time. Get out the frying pan.”

“8D”