I AM GOD, I AM GOD, I AM GOD, I AM GOD!

“rocket launcher and bomb anyone that I don't like...so watch out. The first one to get hit will be sunday loafer.”

“No stik, you'll probably shoot your own foot off.”

“I heard Allah and Buddah
Were singing at the Savior's feast,
And up in the sky
An Arabian Rabbi
Fed Quaker Oats to a priest.
Pretty Good,
Not Bad,
I can't complain,
'Cause actually, all them Gods are just about the same.

"Pretty Good" John Prine 1971”

“Ahhh yes, Mr. Prine.”

“Oh stikmon...a rocket launcher? ooooohhhh...when does that start?”

“"Convert to Islam and blow yourself up in Iraq or Israel. You get the package deal: rapture and bliss, plus a bunch of virgins."

I've always wondered how the virgins feel about this deal.”

“They must like it. They're blowing themselves up too, although not nearly enough to meet the demand.”

“When we got him, he looked more surprised than an old cook peekin' into her lidded fry-pan and a finding a coiled rattler inside. He keep askin for Jesus and we keepa tellin him, Jesus don't come down around here no more.”

“"...but you only bread more hate."
-- marylandtrails
12:00:39 PM


What exactly does breaded hate taste like?”

“Tastes like the barrel of a gun.”

“"I've always wondered how the virgins feel about this deal.”

I think, as anyone who's actually had a virgin will tell ya, these martyrs are gettin' jipped. If they wanted to make it a real reward they'd be promised 70 horny underattended housewives. There is a woman who knows what she's doin'!”

“Very true, Nigal, very true.”

“The show Desperate Housewives comes to mind. Give me 70 of them and I'll blow myself up today. Then again I might just die, go to heaven, only to end up buried under a swimming pool.”

“I will take the virgins!”

“I'll take the experience of a 40-something housewife with the body of an 18-year-old virgin. Best of both worlds?”

“I want a beautiful deaf and dumb nymphomaniac who owns a liquor store.”

“You guys gotta lighten up down there.

One of the better lines on CBC Radio (and so it must be true) this week-end was the suggestion the God is actually an unhappy couple - answers all the questions, doesn't it?”