I'm going crazy here

“It's my family. I've been at school for a year where I had complete freedom. I didn't have to report to anybody. Now that I'm home, I have to tell my parents where I'm going, when I'll be back, who I'm going with, ect. They're also limiting how long and late I stay out. I need my freedom back!! I've only been out of school for a week and I'm already ready for it to start again. It's going to be a long summer.”

“Strap on the pack and take a 3 month hike.”

“Dude. Sounds like you need to have a talk with your parents. I assume you are 18 now. Which means you can come and go as you please. Set them down and let them know how you feel. If they don't budge you will have to decide if the security of living with the folks is worth the hassle. If it isn't, say 'look, I love you but I'm moving out.' Then follow through.

I realize you were just venting and may not have been looking for advice, but there it is anyhoo.

Peace.”

“As tempting as it is, I need money, and all my friends are here. It would be fun, but I still wouldn't be doing half the stuff I want to.”

“barlo,
Yea, I'm 19. I would love to move out, but again there is this money issue. Anyway, Im thinking about just saying that I'm going out and leaving without giving info and leave befoer they have time to respond. It may tick them off, but hey I'm not a kid anymore.”

“LOL!!!!”

“I agree with Barlo.
DM, if you live under their roof, you are sorta obliged to be accountable, if thats the rule. They do sound a bit oppressive though.

If you don't like the rules, you get your own place and make your own rules. That's the way it works. I guess I can't really relate, since I was out by 17.

Ain't no free rides...saving money by living at home is costly in other ways, as you see.

Good luck. You're a smart boy - be innovative to get what you want. You'll make the best of it! Now, go take on the day...
;o)”

“thanks, dr laura.”

“Make the effort DM. A few phone calls, a note on the fridge. What is the big deal?”

“dr laura = amyg ? hmmm....makes sense.”

“Stop whining, Junior. Thank your dad that he still allows your whinny a$$ under his roof. Who pays the bills at school? Mom and Dad? Thank them for that too. Whose food do you eat? More thanks in order. Wanna be a big boy? Start acting like one and go get a job.

Freshmen. It?s too early in the morning.”

“yeah, what ken said!”

“OH, MY, GOD! I actually agree with bacpac! It really isn't too hard to call or leave a note. Sorry deathmarch your folks have the right to ask. Even if you are an adult. As the mother of two adult children I have this opinion, if you're living under my roof you live by my rules (which are pretty relaxed). Let me know when you'll be home translates as, should I plan dinner for two or three. Call if you won't be home means, do I call the police at one am. We can't help it, we're parents. We will never get over caring for our children.”

“Gather round, bastards. I'm going to say this once and once only. This AmyG slut couldn't hook my bra strap. Got it? I'm not her and she's not me, losers.

As for you, ungrateful twerp, just be grateful your parents LET you move back in. May I ask who is paying your tuition? As long as you live under their roof, you will follow their rules. If you want to set your own rules, all you have to do is move out. Good luck, immature bastard. Now, go take on the day. That's MY line!”

“DM, it's hard moving back in with the rules, curfews, etc. I remember very well. But, I think if you show your parents respect by abiding by their wishes or negotiating for a bit more leeway you'll be better off. the tter's who listed all the stuff they provide for you are right on. Give alittle back and do what they ask. It's 3 short monthes of your life.”

“It IS her!”

“told ya!”

“Whoever Dr Laura is, must actually listen to Dr Laura, because they know her BS lines, like "Now, go take on the day".

I know AmyG, and I don't think she would be able to listen to DR Laura, so it ain't her!”

“I love you, Tarpie!”

“Now we know its not her.”

“it's her, dude.”

“I think you're right, dude.”

“DUDE!”

“CRAZY
BUT THAT'S HOW IT GOES
MILLIONS OF PEOPLE
LIVE IN THIS WO-O-E-E-ERLD!”

“I'm goin off the rails on the CRAZY TRAIN!”

“DM99, you are one lucky dog! With a minimum of effort you can comply with the folks rules, and with very little money, you can go on multiple one week hikes. Top Ramien and mac and cheese are cheep, and you can tell Mom and Dad: "I'm going on a backpack for a few days with the gang. We are starting at XXX, and will be back in 7 days. See you in a week."

It seems that you either have time or money, and that you rarely have both time and money. Right now you have time, which is a precious thing. Use it, by going on some great hikes. When you are on the hike, stay up as late as you feel like, and have a great time.

As far as when at home, you might discuss the more restrictive of their rules, but preface the discussion something like "I know that while I live in your house, I have to live by your rules, and you rules are your way of expressing love and concern for me. However, you have raised me to be responsible, and since you have to trust me to not be irresponsible at college, how about cutting me some slack when I'm at home?"

Good luck, and go hiking!”

“XXX?”

“guys, I do tell them that I'm going out. I just hate sitting through the half hour interagation about my plans and then a repeat when I get home.”

“Its called concern.

Have you given them many reasons not to trust you? (I'm not insinuating anything, just asking)”

“None at all. In the past I've been home when I was told to be and if not I called them to okay it. I think they're just paranoid.”

“"boy, are you on drugs?

and stay away from that tarp rat character!"”

“I live at home and go to school from here. My dad is cool as long as my crap stays out of his sight, and the lawn is cut. I moved out for a while, but it's a lot eaiser going to school and working parttime vs trying to work full time and have a full set of classes. Yeah Yeah I'm a freeloader, and I can be one as long as I'm in school with a full load and B average. :)”

“Try seeing things from their perspective death. They want the best for you and its hard to let go. If they stay up all night worrying about you, that's not fair to them. Talk to them.”

“Death march, your parents love you ( a collective AWWWWWWW!!! from all the tt'ers). They just can't stop being parents. Do they really interogate you for a half hour, or does it just seem that way?

I'm willing to bet that they pay your tuition, give you some spending cash, provide four walls and a roof, heat, food, FRIENDSHIP, phones, and possibly a PC.

Is it really too much to be home at a certain time so they can sleep restfully at night? When you're not at home (away at college), they aren't expecting you to come home later in the night. When you are home, and they think you'll be home by 11:00 and you don't show, they ARE going to worry about you. They can't help it, you might as well get used to it. Cut them a little slack, so they won't worry so much and I'll bet they'll cut you some slack, and then you'll get a little more slack......

One other thing, that lawn that you play frisbee on or with the dog or whatever. How would Dad feel if, suppose, he were mowing it, and you got out the weedwacker and did a killer job on the edges for him? And what about Mom? What if you said great meal mom, here let me do the dishes for you? I know, I know, at 12 years old, it was practically your duty to try to get out of doing that stuff, but you are an adult now....

I know, I'm getting too preachy here. Good luck Deathmarch”

“that was nice, UK.”

“what rad said.”

“Their house,their food,their $$$$ for tuition, you know utility costs are up $$$$$ this equals their rules. Suck it up and drive on!”

“I thought I saw a ghost from the past. Alas it was Idaho Bob and not Idiot Bob.

Where is the Idgit?”

“dm....they are just trying to protect their investment.....”

“Here's a thought, your parents have been on their own for the last year while you've been gone. Now your there to screw things up for them. Now they have to start acting like parents again. The least you could do is comply or move out.”

“DM99 it could be that they also just want to talk and touch base with you.

UK, Amy and others said the rest.”

“A significant event that escaped any notice took place a couple of weeks ago: The First Ever Trail Talk Consensus

Deathmarch99's question produced nearly uniform replies across all the usual divides. East and west, fascists & pinkoes, rich and poor, young and old, car campers and ultralight trekkers, TNF lovers/haters. You name it, the message was clear: Deathmarch99, stop slouching and eat your brussel sprouts!

If you want a more sympathetic ear, may I suggest teenangst.com?

(Hope all is well at home)”

“I disagree with that.”

“screw that!

you must be kidding!”

“Be thankful that they care enough to worry about you. There are too many young people out there that don't don't have parents that care enough to worry about their kids. Believe me, you will understand when you have kids of your own. Also you will learn that the older you get the smarter your parents become.”

“Your parents are concerned about you. Live with it, it's their right as parents. To ease their concerns and restrictions I have two suggestions. 1) Is it to much to tell them about where and when you will be. It's a 30 second message on the answering machine. 2) If you can afford it, get a cheap pager and basic service, and give them the number. Oh yea, carry the @#$% thing.
One possible bonus of concerned parents: Leave the deadmans envelope (itinerary, etc.) with them when you disappear into the trees. They wont forget about it.”

“Consistently TELL them where you're going (and with whom.) If you tell 'em enough, they won't have as many questions. Figure it out boy, its not that hard.
(Maybe they want adequate notice so they can put their clothes back on and get their toys put away!)”

“Amen, Amen, Amen.

Another thing, think for just a moment what percentile of the world's population your college education is putting you into. I believe it is infinitesimal. Consider just how danged special that makes you in the grand scheme of human population of this orb. Thank your parents profusely that they give $hit about your ragged a$$, they are the last ones for a long time to come who will. Thank this eclectic cast of misfits hanging out here for encouraging you to ratchet your maturity up a notch.

And finally, give yourself a great big laugh some day in the future-save this thread and read it at your first child's 16th birthday.

I am going thru this right now with my 14 yr old. Gawd you are so un-%$#@&^%-believably lucky.”

“I have two brother's in law. Both late teens. Neither gives my mom-in-law the respect she deserves. Not many pleases or thank you. Too much whinning about her rules etc,etc,etc...It hurst her sooo much. If they could/would realize this. Step out of you own limited perspective and show mom/dad some gratitude.”

“Who's paying for college?

Their money, their house, their rules.

If you move out, fine that's your choice. But if you are over 18 then they don't have to pay your tuition, either.

Think long and hard before you start making ultimatums.”