Memorials

“I would like an opinion from all of you.

How do you feel about Memorials? Not ones that are in town for vets. The ones that you see hiking or even more yet ones that you see on the roads. Sometimes I'll be hiking along and you'll see out in the middle of nowhere a huge concrete memorial for someone that died on the spot. I feel it is an interesting bit of history but does that person have a right to erect that memorial? What if over the years memorials started popping up all over? Do you feel its necessary to remember where a loved one died by placing something there?

Opinions?”

“Leave no trace, baby!!! However, if its at a trail-head or some other improvement, I think it'll be fine especially if it is to recognize someone dedicated to the area. I think it wholly appropriate for plaques to be on structures built by volunteer groups (so long as they are sanctioned) or individuals.”

“i've seen plaques bolted into rock at waterfalls waaay off the beaten path.

ugly, annoying and useless.”

“The ones you see on the side of the highway serve a purpose though.”

“I wish that MI had a program like CO. They have tidy little signs, a reminder. We have people that pile junk, plastic flowers, stuffed animals etc. all over the "spot". No one dares remove any of these things and it looks like crap.”

“Here in NJ there were so many of them along the road that the transportation department had to announce a policy to remove them after a set time. I've seen some stay up for a long time so I guess they are trying to be reasonable.”

“And here I thought it was a "southern" thing. I never have seen the point. I'm with Joy, they look like crap and serve no purpose.

Here's something to think about. There is one of these "memorials" near the entrance to our neighborhood, IN my neighbors yard! They have asked the family and friends of the deceased to keep items small and tasteful but it hasn't happened. Big gaudy plastic flowers, a giant teddy bear... My neighbors have really mixed feelings about removing these items but they live there for crying out loud. I think they should remove the items they find tacky. Perhaps the people putting them there will get the message. Thoughts?”

“Year after year in WA, I see road side memorials. They are crosses with small flowers on them. I always thought they served as a reminder for people to not drive drunk. I also see the signs put up by the state/city that has a family name on it telling people to not drive drunk.

I've never put too much though into the future of the memorials put their by individuals. It doesn't really bother me.”

“When I go, I?d like my ashes taken way back into the woods and sprinkled around and kind of worked into the leaf litter so that they couldn?t be seen. Then what?s left of me would soak into the ground and eventually become part of a tree. Now that?s a memorial.

As far as bolting plaques onto boulders goes, I think it?s selfish. Memorials do nothing for the dead; they are for the living. Those who would affix a plaque to a rock must think themselves more important then the rest of us who are also part owners of public land.

As far as New Jersey goes, one wonders how they even notice memorials amongst the rest of the tacky trash along the roadside.”

“That sh!t is everywhere!
Though it does weem kinda like a southern thang.
They certainly do get to look like piles of trash....what a nice way to remember a car flippin' drunk.”

“ken-

Please don't speak that way of my mother-in-law.”

“They don't bother me. I figure it is making someone feel better. Dead lasts a long time.

In our area several families are doing roadside cleanup and the signs read in memory of ... the .. family.”

“The old old memorials are cool, I mean the memorials that are over 100 years old. As for the roadside stuff, give it a rest already. Put the teddy bear at the gravesite if it makes you feel better. As for me, sprinkle my ashes in the fresh mountain streams in Golden Colorado!”

“I want to be dumped in the woods behind my house--but I think that it is illegal. My second choice is to be charred and scattered on Ocracoke Island, NC. I hope that Baume and Boy build a shrine composed of Abba records, John Irving books, my marriage certificate, bike parts, my Osprey pack, diet pepsi cans, dumbbells, Boy's report cards, and my two marathon medals. I don't care where they put it.”

“I heard of one way back in Kings Canyon. Le Conte, I think is who it is for. I hope to see that spot sometime. History is cool, I'm gonna be teaching it in a couple of years. I think it's ok as long as Memorials are small and indescrete. They make a wilderness adventure also a step back in time.”

“Saw a plaque bolted to a rock along the AT. It was for a firefighter that died "60 yards to the West", or something like that. I found it to be a humbling experience.

Roadside memorials? Ehhh... whatever gets the family through the grief.”

“I think Rushmore is small and discreet enough, however Sitting Bull is just TOO MUCH. Maybe I just have a bias and I need to do some self-exploration.”

“Roadside ones don't bother me, I could do without one out in the backcountry. Someone put up a wooden memorial at a campsite in the middle of a remote area in a place I hike in reference to someone that used hike the area and died. I'd rather not see something like that in the middle of the woods.”

“I happened upon this site while looking to purchase a roadside memorial to place on I-15(60 miles north of Las Vegas, NV). My 11 yr old daughter died in my arms as the result of a horrific car accident about two moths ago. I performed CPR on my little girl for over an hour before an ambulance arrived. Why do I feel the need to place a memorial where this tragedy took place? To those who think they look "trashy", or "serve no purpose to the dead", or that I'm being "selfish" by placing a memorial on land partly owned by you, this I will say..........I know of several people who say a little prayer when they see a memorial on the side of the road. They pray for the family of the deceased. If I could only express to you how badly I need every prayer, no matter how small. You see, I struggle daily for the will to live, to take my next breath, to go on without her. This pain has no limit, its an emptiness without bottom. I'm searching blindly through the darkness for just a glimmer of hope for inner peace. So even if my daughters roadside memorial brings forth only one prayer, trust me, I need it. Anything I might do to help ease some of this pain, my little girl would want me to do. The possibility through prayer and faith that someday her mommy might smile again is the purpose it will serve to her. So please, the next time you pass one of these drive by grave sites, take a moment..... whisper a prayer, for me and for all of these families.”

“My father-in-law owns a mountainside woodlot that a commuter plane crashed into in the early 1980's. Someone lugged in a granite monument with a plaque to the site unbeknownst to him. It's in a tangle of greenbriar several hundred yards from where you could even drive an ATV. I think he rather admires the effort someone went to to put that in and would never think of removing it. Still I think he would have preferred that someone had actually asked.

Our local NPR morning newscaster owns a part of the site where the "fourth plane" crashed on 9/11/01. He has written that the land he inherited somehow wasn't his family's any more from the second it crashed.”

“Sorry for your great loss rob. We may not agree on this but I do recognize your loss and pain.”

“I am also sorry for your loss. You're right, whenever I pass one of those memorials, I offer up a prayer for those who still suffer.”

“I'm very sorry for your loss and will say a prayer. And Angelrob, I wonder, what brought you to this backpacking website on this day? Are you a backpacker? An outdoorsman? I am wondering why you chose to share the grief here, now, with us.”

“Sounds like a random Google hit, from what he said.

rob - maintain your faith and put your pain on God, that's what He's there for. It is much more bearable when you know you'll see them again.”

“Rob, I am so sorry, parents should not bury their children. A few weeks ago I wrote about a young Scout who had died in his house due to an accident. His father and mother are close friends.
I have had to treat children, I have had to be the one to tell parents the child was killed. I will never get used to it.

All I can tell you is that you must look through the pain, see the growth. I survive because I have friends who have survived. They tell me you can go on. It is not easy, but one day you will understand why.”