On The Lighter Side

“Wow . . . the thread on racism is bugging me out, so I decided to post something a little less intense. Following are the top five things a man must have in order for me to be attracted. I know MukTuk thinks single moms shouldn't voice this kind of stuff, but I'm just lightening the mood and having fun here.

-A great mind
-A sense of humor
-R-E-S-P-E-C-T for me
-beautiful eyes
-great pelvis bones (ya' know, where the stick out just a little, but not so much so that you feel the need to feed the poor guy)

Okay, so tell me your top five for girls or guys TTers. I'm sick of the intensity in Ten Cities debates.
-”

“some guys dig the way they walk,
the way the swing and sway,
some guys dig the way they talk,
and like the things they say,

I don't care if she waddle like a duck,
talk with a lisp,
I still think that I in good luck,
if the dollar bills are crisp...

(paraphrased from J. Geils - First I look at the Purse)”

“--the ability to tell a joke
--a great sounding voice
--long legs
--a happy disposition
--handy at fixing things, building things. My husband knows that I'm happier to have him fix something than buy me flowers. He can always talk me into buying power tools.”

“physically:

- taller than me
- a broad chest
- I like men with a little meat on them

personality:

- honest
- have huge respect for me
- be understanding
- smart with a comanding presence (not wimpy), strong
- willing to kill bugs or just move them outside the house is a big plus”

“An inquisitive mind
A great sense of humor
Eyes to die for
Egalitarian in outlook
Suckable toes”

“Suckable toes? Madriver, you get freaky!”

“An open mind.
A sense of humor (Tight Wad Bob can always make me laugh).
Kindness.

Newgirl, I like that you admit your little quirk with the "pelvis bone" thing. My little quirky thing is slightly bowed legs. LOL!!”

“Pamster, you should head to MT. We have lots of lovely bow legged cowboys up here.”

“newgirl, do men get bow legged from riding horses? Is it from starting young in life?”

“Madriver, and I thought I was quirky! "Suckable toes", LOL! You go girl!

Newgirl, I reckon I'd bee in heaven watching bow legged cowboys amble down the street! LOL!”

“I gots green eyes! I gots green eyes!”

“LH, I think some men are just naturally bow legged, but I also think that riding from a young age and doing it often (5-6 times a wk. for hrs.) contributes. Just think Pamster, they have tight rears in tight Wranglers along w/ that special bow legged gait and they say things like, "Excuse me, hon, I can get that door 'fer ya'." Pros of living in rural MT.”

“Hey arclite, are you still giving away mustache rides? LOL! You offered them to me and mel at one time;-)”

“Green . . . nice. Very nice.”

“Thanks newgirl. What older gal would like being called ma'am, but actually, I think I wouldn't mind being called ma'am, by a bow legged cowboy in tight jeans. Pardon me ma'am, but would you care to dance. Pardon me ma'am, can I carry yer bag fer ya.”

“Anywhere, anytime, Pamster. I've still got my 'stache and goatee. 'Course the color of the hair keeps changing slightly, but that doesn't effect the ride any. Must be the exercise...Lalalalalala.”

“Body by nautilus, brain by Mattel!”

“Wow! Arclite, gets to the point.”

“Hey!!!! The ability to touch my tongue to my nose should count for something!!!!!







It also comes in handy when I want to shove popcorn up my nose by sticking it to the tip of my tongue.”

“Good thread, newgirl... and other contributors. Always good to know when you're batting .745 :-)

Lot easier for me to meet lipstick's "a little bit of meat on him" than the "pelvis bones" item!! (I've got great pelvis bones... now if I could only find 'em!)”

“Rick, some girls like the meaty ones and others like the skinny ones. Someone out there doesn't want to see or feel a pelvis bone. Plus, there are other requirements here according to these nice women. How are you doing in those areas?”

“I'm surprised not to see some lists from more of the guys. What's going on here. Nobody has time to burn today? HeHeHe.”

“A good attitude...period!”

“-taller than me
-nice hair
-great eyes
-great manners
-"outdoorsy" type
-no wedding ring!

I also like a guy with some meat on his bones, not too fat and not too skinny! Cowboys are great to watch aren't they? LOL”

“Yup, they sure are. They aren't really my type. I grew up around too many of them and many (not all) have enormous egos. Watching them is NICE, though.”

“Maybe I should have entitled this "What A Girl Wants."”

“MadRiver... as a man whose enjoyed a toe or two... this song's for you (Dianna Krall has a version for the womyn):

And when God gave out rhythm
He sure was good to you
You can add, subtract, multiply.
And divide by two
I know today's your birthday
And I did not buy no rose
But I wrote this song instead and I call it: Popsicle Toes
Popsicle Toes,
Popsicle Toes are always froze

Popsicle Toes,
You're so brave to expose all those
Popsicle Toes
You must have been Miss Pennsylvania
With all this pulchritude,
How come you always load your Pentax
When I'm in the nude?
We ought to have a birthday party
And you can wear your birthday clothes,
Then we can hit the floor and go explore those Popsicle
You got the nicest
North America
This sailor ever saw-
I like to feel your warm Brazil
And touch your But your Tierra del fuegos
Are nearly always froze
We gotta see-saw until we unthaw those
Popsicle Toes”

“Huh?”

“You girls can just calm down because I'm already taken.”

“responding to newgirl's Question:

Great mind: A+
Sense of humor: A+
Respect for others: B+
(and always trying to improve)
Eyes: A
Visable pelvis bones: F
Ability to tell a joke: A+
Great sounding voice: A+
(Former radio guy)
Happy disposition: B+
MadRiver's final item: I
(That's for "Incomplete" --- but I'm willing to do an "extra credit" assignment... hehehe)
Fixing things: F


Surprised nobody had "Gives Great Massages" in their top five.... Or "Gets on the floor and wrestles with the two kids every night"...
Those would be high on my wife's list, I think...
Along with "Makes a great omelette!"

My top five (today) --
1. Laughs at my jokes, and tells me which ones were stupid when we're alone.
2. Encourages me when I need it, and honestly tells me when I'm wrong when that's needed, too.
3. Understands me.... or at least "tries to".... especially when I need some time alone.
4. Calls the repair guy to fix the garage door while I'm off bp'ng.
5. Seemingly forgets all the stupid things I've done before TODAY.

Oh... one more....
Always knows just the right time for an Italian Dinner with candles and wine!

I could go on... but I've gotta get home for dinner. :-)

Peace,
theiowanerd”

“The 9 Types of Boyfriends

Joe Sensitive - "After I wash the dishes, let's cuddle, OK?"
Also known as: Mr. Nice Guy, Family man, Honey, Darling, Soft-boiled Egg, Snugglepup.
Advantages: Well-behaved; irons own shirts.
Disadvantages: Irritatingly compassionate, wimpy.

Old Man Grumpus - "People are stupid. The world can go to hell. Let's stay home and watch TV."
A.K.A.: Grumbles, Sour puss, Stick-in-the-mud, Bacpac, Old Fogey, Slow Mover, Jerk.
Advantages: Stays put; predictable.
Disadvantages: Royal pain in the ass.

Flinchy - "I--I'm sorry for whatever it was I did."
A.K.A.: Trembly, Creampuff, Hey you.
Advantages: Jumps entertainingly when startled.
Disadvantages: Easily spooked; surrenders without a struggle.

Bigfoot - "Shut yer trap, I'm thinkin'."
A.K.A.: Chunk-style, Lummox, Ignoramus, Galoot, the Hulk, Big 'n' Dumb.
Advantages: Can tote bales; is easily fooled.
Disadvantages: Can break you in half, sweats like a pig.

Lazybones - "Zzzzzz"
A.K.A.: Lucky Dog, Parasite, Bum, Sponge, Snoozebucket, Drug Addict.
Advantages: Well rested; easy target.
Disadvantages: Unlikely to fulfill your dreams.

The Sneak - "Who, me?"
A.K.A.: Love Pirate, Snake, Rat, Slime, Son-of-a-Bitch.
Advantages: May feel pangs of guilt.
Disadvantages: May be having time of his life.

Ace of Hearts - "After I wash the dishes, let's hump like horny rabbits, K?"
A.K.A.: The Sizzler, Handyman, Dreamboat, Casanova, Monster.
Advantages: Perpetually aroused.
Disadvantages: Perpetually aroused.

The Dreamer - "Someday I'm going to be rich and famous. I don't know how,but--"
A.K.A.: Struggling Artist, Philosopher, Buffoon, Bag of Wind.
Advantages: Tells good stories.
Disadvantages: Will turn into "Old Man Grumpus."

Mr. Right - "While the servants wash the dishes, let's hump like horny rabbits in my new yacht, ok?"
A.K.A.: Mr. Perfect, Jim Dandy.
Advantages: Answer to a woman's prayer.
Disadvantages: Hunted to extinction.”

“Smart... has a good mind and uses it.
Rich sense of humor
Sense of adventure and play
Uses words well... a sense of the poetic (at least a sense of art).
Genuinely nice.
Reasonably fit.
Has values, but is not dogmatic.
Enjoys life, but is able to tolerate sadness and negative feelings.
Can disagree constructively.


Physically:
Reasonably fit is all I really need... if the connection I need is there thats all it takes if not, then whats the point?

Still, I've found myself admiring:
Colar bones,
the nape of the neck,
the back and shoulders...
A figure that is real (some curves, but not Barbies or Bunnies).
Usually, a woman who doesn't wear make up, use perfume or paint her nails (or uses very very little).

Currently, I ain't lookin' but I'm uncommitted enough that a woman who loved and enjoyed Backpacking and Kenneth Burke would get my attention(maybe I should buy a certain someone a copy of "Permanence and Change").”

“whatever my wife has is what i like.

she is not stupid and she doesn't piss me off.

actually, my temper is 1000% better, now that i'm with her.

she rocks!”

“Kleetn, you pretty much covered it.”

“Thats easy...... she must not know a dime of English and be similiar in phenotype and like to wear rubber gloves on occasion!!!

What is this "dispostion" crap? You people buying stock animals and dogs? "Oh! yes, what a fine beyach my wife is. She has a great dipostion and is wonderful on the trail."

Well basically she has to fall for my dumb a$$.”

“How about the top ten? Here are my other five:

-Likes to snuggle
-Loves children
-Has a decent (but not crazed) work ethic
-Is not money hungry
-Likes small, skinny girls w/ visible pelvis bones”

“the five things that must be in order for me to be attracted, more or less..
Really listens when I talk.
Good enough shape to enjoy outdoors.
Good morals.
Passionate about somthing.
And
mustaches are a personal weakness of mine.
Hey is it true guys that what men really want is 50% angel 50% whore. (please excuse the bad word)I think most of us are just that ,we just don't know when to be what.”

“It doesn't matter one way or another we'll still have to pay a price.”

“I was just talking to a 94yr old women in my bldg. She had water running through her apt. She said the bldg mangement co. wanted her to rent a room in a hotel. She said no. If you go to hotels alone, the men think you're prostitutes.

Oh, I laughed so hard to myself. She is 94, so you can see where she is coming from. Boy have things changed.”

“LOL Kleetn, you've reeeally put some thought into this!!! Good one.

Newgirl! I am soooooo sorry! I really did give you the wrong imression! Please forgive me!”

“To use the line from the Band "The Bolldhoundgang"

What do I really want in a girl?

ME !!”

“Top five for me would be:

1. Intelligent (but not a bore)and not threatened by intelligent women.
2. Not hard to look at. He doesn't have to be a greek god, but he shouldn't make me want to put bag over his head either.
3. Hygiene is very important. I don't care if he is a mechanic, if he can't take the time to clean the crud under his nails...he can FORGET it!
4. He HAS to be able to make me laugh! I prefer a sharp and harmless wit. There is nothing funny about repeating stale, vulgar jokes.
5. He has to be honest. If he has honesty issues...ruuuun awaaaaay!”

“LH, was she laughing too? Old folks are my favorite folks! Too often they are dismissed as senile but they have many years worth of material saved up!”

“Hmmmmm,....Kleetn, I don`t know what to make of that bigfoot one you did.

Is that how you see me...lol

I love the light in a good woman`s eyes.
A quick and easy smile.
A soft voice and a warm way about her.
A bit of spunk and a dash of sass, with a wink behind it.
A woman that doesn`t know how beautiful she is.
A woman that likes flowers and poetry.
A woman that knows what she wants and can tell me all about it.
A woman that`ll make me smile on the worst day of my life.
Someone that can be my best friend, lover and wife, till the end of time.

I know that`s a pretty big list so, I`ll just do like most men do and take one that`ll suck the life out of me a bit slower than the last one has done.”

“flyguy, yes, the older woman had a smile on her face & so did I. She was serious though and I did all I could to not burst out laughing. She actually said the men would think she was a prostitute. As you can imagine, she's small, fragile, petite, and very wrinkled, but sharp as a tack.

I had one particular older women in my bldg that I took a shine to. Unlike the 94 yr old, her family was in Oregon. She told me a lots of stories.

I know I told this story before, but I happened to catch the 90yr old one coming home with her son when he was visiting. For some reason, instead of waving & continuing inside, I went over to her son's car, and realized there was something wrong with her. I went back to my apt, then told my husband, there is something wrong, and I don't care if I'm interferring, but I have to go back downstairs and say something.

I went to her apt., and talked with her and her son. She seemed to have had a stroke.
Her son didn't think she seemed right then either, but wanted to wait a few days to take her to her doctor.

I insisted in a nice way that he take her to the hospital now. He followed my husband & I to the hospital. It turns out she had a stroke. I may have saved her life. She now lives in Oregon with her son.”

“Attractive (to me) attributes in a woman:

1) I admire women with a "zest" for life; passion. I hate couch potatoes. I admire women who aren't afraid to try new things, or to learn something. Being a reader is a good indication. Lots of hobbies are good. I like women who go out and make things happen as opposed to waiting for it to come to them. I find women who are moderately aggressive attractive.

2) I admire women who know how to be happy. We only get a short time in this life; too little to waste. Some people can find good in everything, conversely, some people are never happy. How a woman acts around her friends is a good indication, as well as how she is with kids.

3) She would be comfortable with herself. Nobody is perfect; we have to play the cards we're dealt. Things like excessive makeup, fake fingernails, elaborate hairstyles, etc turn me off.

4) She would be fit. It isn't so important just so she looks good physically (well, ok, it is sorta important) but that she values herself enough to take care of her body.”

“Physical:
1) I like hairy men, love a beard and mustache, no particular thoughts on baldness.
2) taller than me
3) keeps his toenails clipped
4) not too skinny, not flabby
physical attractiveness is relative to personality, attitude, and how I feel

Other:
1) similar interests to begin with
2) open, able to communicate, has the same definition of compromise as me
3) honest and can be trusted - keeping something from me, no matter how small - is the same as lying
4) cares about my feelings and how his actions might affect me (respect)
5) realizes that my life did not begin the day I met him, but doesn't judge the past
6) is happy alone, is not lonely, has a complete life of his own just like I do, and wants me (as opposed to wanting someone, anyone) rather than needs me
Oh yeah, doesn't make adjustments to my stuff and tell me he thinks I'll like it better that way - like adjusting my bike saddle to make it "more comfortable"

And this is me, except I don't know what to say about my personality:
1) don't fuss with hair and nails, no makeup; prefer long johns to pantyhose
2) don't like to cuddle, don't want to be called honey
3) fat but fit
4) hate practical jokes, hate to be teased
5) love the outdoors

And newgirl, I sympathize with ya. Sounds like things haven't changed much since I was a young single mother 20 years ago. It's like we got caught having sex or something terribly sinful like that. Guys my age assumed I was lookin' for a father for my kid - never mind that he already had one. I gravitated to older men but that was a whole other set of issues. When my son was 5 he spent the entire summer with his father and I spent my summer stepping on as many hearts and egos as I could.”

“Twigeater, you said it! Right On! I'll forgive MukTuk, but I am sick of people being jerks about it. Every goddamn person is having sex and yet, because I ended up pregnant I am some kinda' you-know-what. I wish men would understand that I am not out looking for Daddy #2. My daughter has a daddy. I am not out to have more children. My daughter is my angel, but she was also far from the plan and I'm not looking to head down that road again. A single mother is still a women, though. I have sexual thoughts, feelings, crushes, etc., like anyone else. Twigeater, I like that summer idea. Was it a good summer? Sorry, everybody, I just needed to blow off some steam about this issue.”

“I guess! I think you need to mellow out on Muktuk. She said she didn't mean it that way and apologized. Get over it and move on. We'll chalk it up to stress.:o)”

“Ahhh, thanks for the offer arclite. It sure is nice for this old lady to be flirted with once in a while.”