David vs Goliath

“Anyone stay up to watch the (can you believe this?) Sixers defeat the Lakers? Who'd a thunk? I guess its better to have luck than skill!
You gotta like it when the pompous get put in their place. I know, I know. Its a seven game series, but the "experts" predicted a sweep. HAH!!!”

“I was hoping somebody would wipe that sh!t-eating grin off of Kobe's mug.”

“Basketball Jones

Basketball Jones featuring Tyrone Shoelaces
- written by Richard A. "Cheech" Marin and Thomas Chong
- parody of "Love Jones" by Brighter Side Of Darkness
- as recorded by Cheech & Chong on their 1973 album "Los Cochinos"
- all-star band included George Harrison, Carole King, Billy Preston and Tom Scott, with Darlene Love and Michelle Phillips (The Mamas & The Papas) as cheerleaders.
- single peaked at #15 in 1973

Basketball Jones, I got a Basketball Jones
Got a Basketball Jones, oh baby, oo-oo-ooo

Yes, I am the victim of a Basketball Jones
Ever since I was a little baby, I always be dribblin'
In fac', I was de baddest dribbler in the whole neighborhood
Then one day, my mama bought me a basketball
And I loved that basketball
I took that basketball with me everywhere I went
That basketball was like a basketball to me

I even put that basketball underneath my pillow
Maybe that's why I can't sleep at night
I need help, ladies and gentlemens
I need someone to stand beside me
I need, I need someone to set a pick for me at the free-throw line of life
Someone I can pass to
Someone to hit the open man on the give-and-go
And not end up in the popcorn machine
So cheerleaders, help me out

cheerleaders sing repeatedly...{}
(Basketball Jones, I got a Basketball Jones)
(I got a Basketball Jones, oh baby, oo-oo-ooo)

while Tyrone Shoelaces sings/speaks...{}
Oh, that sounds so sweet
Sing it out
C'mon Coach Booty, Red Blazer, sing along with me
That be bad, honky
Yeah
I want everybody in the whole stadium to stand up and sing with us
Oh yeah, sing it out like you're proud
All right, everybody watchin' coast-to-coast, sing along with us
Bill Russell, sing along with us
Chick Hearn, sing along with us
Chris Schenkel, don't sing nothin'

Oh, it feels so good
Gimme the ball
I'll go one-on-one against the world, left-handed
I could stuff it from center court with my toes
I could jump on top of the backboard, take off a quarter,
leave fifteen cents change
I could, I could dribble behind my back
I got more moves than Ex-Lax
I'm bad
I could dribble with my tongue
Here I go down court, try to stop me
You can't stop me 'cause I got a Basketball Jones
Here I come
That's my hook shot with my eyebrow
Yeah, I could dunk it with my nose
I'm, I'm bad as King Kong, gimme the ball
I'm hot, I'm hot as..., I'm hot as..., I'm hot as... uh
Uh, uh, uh, uh

(Basketball Jones, I got a Basketball Jones, I got a Basketball Jones, Basketball Jones)
(Basketball Jones, I got a Basketball Jones, I got a Basketball Jones, Basketball Jones)
(Basketball Jones, I got a Basketball Jones, I got a Basketball Jones, Basketball Jones)
(Basketball Jones, I got a Basketball Jones, I got a Basketball Jones, Basketball Jones)”

“i love that album, but that song is awful! LOL!!!!”

“That song is up there on the list with that
playing with your Ding-Aling song.”

“Fly, that's one of my theme songs, I always be dribblin' Ear-Ache my Eye out is good too. Wind, are you talkin' 'bout Chuck Berry or Otis Days' Shamala my Ding Dong?”

“Chuck Berry... I believe. You know the one where all he wants to do is play with his ding-aling aling.”