Friendship

“Friendship

Are you tired of all those mushy "friendship" poems
that always sound good but never actually come close to
reality? Well, here is a "friendship" poem that really
speaks to true friendship and truth itself!

My Friend ...

When you are sad, ...I will get you drunk and help you
plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you sad.

When you are blue, ...I'll try to dislodge whatever is
choking you.

When you smile, ...I'll know you finally got laid.

When you are scared, ...I will rag you about it every
chance I get.

When you are worried, ...I will tell you horrible
stories about how much worse it could be and to quit
whining.

When you are confused, ...I will use little words to
explain it to your dumb ass.

When you are sick, ...stay away from me until you're
well again. I don't want whatever you have.

When you fall, ...I will point and laugh at your clumsy
ass.

This is my oath, ...I pledge till the end.
Why you may ask?
Because you're my friend!

Send this poem to ten of your closest friends and get
depressed because you realize you only have 2 friends,
and one of them is not speaking to you right now anyway.”

“I get a ton of mushy, useless poems each day. I hate them, I delete them as soon as they show up, but this is priceless, I love this one. I will share this with my two friends, or one friend now and the other one when I"M TALKING TO HER.”

“I think I saw that one about a ear ago, but thanks!”

“I think I saw that one about a year ago, but thanks!”

“I've gotten crap like that before (Not like the cool one Pemsit posted) that say," Send this to ALL your friends. I don't do chain mail and delete them.”

“sit on my face and tell me that you love me sit on my face and tell me that you care”

“Funny forwards.com had this years ago”

“Sit on your face and whisper sweet nothings into your nose?”

“Yes, there are other out there, I am not alone. Well I'm kinda alone. Ok so I am lonely as hell, now I feel like I need a mushy ode to odie.”

“See Whitman's "I Saw in Louisiana a Live-Oak Growing" for the whole megillah, but how's this excerpt for an example of the mushy variety:

"...For all that, and though the live-oak glistens there in Louisiana solitary,
in a wide, flat space,
Uttering forth joyous leaves all its life without a friend or lover near,
I know very well that I could not." It works great as a heading on a letter to one you are enamored of.”

“Yo Pemsit! I forgot to add that I ain't embarrassed to be romantic. That's why you go home early and I go home the next morning.”

“Oh Varmit, girls love sweet poems. But not cheesy ones.”

“Then how can we explain the popularity of Rap?”