Been Gone

“Hey everyone! I was on my wk. off and I can't believe everything I missed. You guys talk crazy crap around here! I had a great wk. and a wonderful 3rd and 4th. I have lots to talk about. Starting w/ my favorite subject . . . men. I met another hottie.”

“Welcome back newgirl! Tell us about your latest adventures.”

“Hottie of the week.”

“Well.........did you go to the Beartooths?”

“Hey Noogie!!! We missed ya. I thought maybe Mr. Goodbar got ahold of ya!”

“I confess Chief, I didn't make it to the Beartooths. We rescheduled for the wkend of the 28th & 29th. The hottie, is frickin' hot. He is a smolderingly good kisser. I could die from how good a kisser he is. He told me to call him. Is that good or bad? Should he have to make the effort or should I just go w/ it.”

“This is the 21st century, call him.

Did you decide where you were going in the Beartooths yet?

I might be going through there that weekend. Possibly to Red Lodge to 'hike' around the golf course.”

“Mystic Lake.”

“Did you up and do him like you wanted to with the lumber dood, Ms.newgirl?”

“Where is Mystic Lake? I don't think I have ever heard of it?”

“Not sure, my bud is taking us in. He is a veteran bper so it should be nice. I think it is in the vicinity of Emerald Lake. I did not up and do him. It was a close call though, Christ, what a beautiful boy. He's 32. Yum City.”

“What kind of odds can I get that newgirl will be pregnant again before the year is up?”

“newgirl, should you go for it, go ahead. I always take numbers, because it helps to see if the person is married.

I like to call men when given a number. I prefer it. If I met someone on a Saturday, I would call on Tuesday. Calling Monday makes you look to anxious. Tuesday is early enough in the week to call before he makes plans for next weekend.

If you end up having sex at some point in the relationship, check his peni$ first for "outbreaks" or any other suspicous looking things. Tell him it's part of foreplay, lol.”

“This turned out to be a real sleeper of a thread.”

“I agree Phil”

“Checking for "outbreaks" sounds like SOP for a hooker.”

“Hey, I spawned a whole new thread! Yippeeee”

“I always thought you could tell how good a girl was in bed, by how she kissed. Quite accurately, I think. I imagine a girl could tell about a man the same way. What do you think of this?”

“True. Usually a fumbly kisser is a fumbly lover.”

“So what, from a woman's point of view, makes one the opposite of fumbly?
I like to kiss a woman's whole face. Bite on the ears, lick on the neck, suck on the lips, of course lots of tongue. Fun stuff.”

“Boring Friday afternoon waiting for 3:30 LOL.”

“Less tongue, less biting.”

“Don't get serious with a guy until you go on a 5 day hike with him. You learn all kinds of things when he is too exhausted to be on his best behavior. Don't date him if he is not a hiker, if hiking is important to you.”

“Sounds like the voice of experience Bob.”

“Yes and no. I have never dated guys, but I figured the same principle applies to both sexes.”

“Thanks for the advice Bob. What if he is heavy into biking (like Tour de France type biking)? It's pretty healthy and it gets a guy outdoors. Besides, he shaves his legs for it. God, what a babe.”

“I'd be leary of guys who shave their legs.”

“Is Le Subtil a Golden Retriever in drag?

That is some sloppy kissin, man. Do you hump people's legs too?”

“And guys who spend that much time with a bunch of other guys in tight, tight shorts, LOL.

Also, studies of avid male riders have found that that much time on a bike saddle can leave certain equipment out of order (at least temporarily) in a good percentage of riders -- which would lower the "hottie" quotient a bit, wouldn't it? Of course, his domestiques can always help him out if he's having a tough time.”