"Deer Camp" Convention

“DAY 1:
8:00 - 11:00 How to tell a doe from a buck, the antler theory. Billy Ray Hornsuckler

11:00 - 12:00 Size up your deer by the size of it's poop. Oliver "Hoss" Fiddler

12:00 - 1:00 Lunch (Shoot yur own)

1:00 - 5:00 Camo's, Brown and Green, Black, Brown and Green, or Tan and Green, a synopsis. Dr. Earl Shuckman

DAY 2
8:00 - 12:00 Snipe Hunting, Myth or Legand? Babe Winkleman

12:00 - 2:00 Lunch (How to Cook Store Bought Meat) Martha Stewart

2:30 - 6:00 The proper mechanics of rubbing deer pee on yourself when hunting. Big Jim Tate

Please sign up below....”

“lol”

“It`s a place of dreams in most young boys and men that never grow to old to enjoy wood smoke, light laughter, new and old dogs, fine guns, the brotherhood of mankind and a love for wild things and places.

If you think it`s more, or less than this, please come to the next deer camp convention,...I`d love to share a cup and across a fire, have you tell me about life and the way you see it.”

“The first 250 people who sign up get the picture book "How to Build a Blind in Suburban Wooded Areas" by Jethro T. Flick”

“I would like the "30-Point Buck" song in lieu of the picture book, please.”

“by: Everett P. McCoy

Sung to some ole' tymey music


Been' Huntin' these mountains for 30 years.
Never shot a deer, brought my dog to tears.

Then one day I had a change of luck
When i came across a 30 point Buck!

Refrain:
30 point buck, 30 point buck,
was so damned big I screamed HOLY F*CK!
30 point buck, 30 point buck
That poor ole SOB was sh*t out of luck.

Grabbed my rifle aimed it low
The deer looked around as if lookin' fer a dough.

I put my eye to the sight and pulled the trigger on the gun
The 30 point buck didn't have no time to run.

Refrain.

For 30 long years is was the joke of the town
But when I came home that day I coulda wore a crown

Now everybody loves me south of ole' alabamy and back
And on my wall hangs a 30 point rack......

Refrain.”

“I think I saw this show on TNN last night.”

“Truce”

“Grow up.”

“Listen Mr. bacpac, I don't like you making wise a$$ed comments to people just because you think you can. Now I guess I could just mind my own business, let it go, and let them fend for themselves. Unfortunately for you, that's not my nature when it comes to bullies. So, having said that, evrytime you malicoiusly knock somebody in some self righteous manner, or slam somebody at somebody else's expense, it's coming right back at you. So you can tell me to grow up, or whatever else you want, and try to make yourself sound funny, I don't care quite frankly.”

“Ok, tough guy, whatever you say.”

“That's right bacpac, now you are learnin'!”

“I, in my infinate newness, have decided to take a stand against bacpac and his sense of humor.

DOWN WITH HUMOR!”

“I wasn't trying to be funny.”

“Yea, well I'm a blithering idiot.”

“yawn, that was your best shot?!!?!? Whew, you are soooooo funny, hahahahahahaha. LOL!!! heeeeeheheheheehe Self Righteous Bear hahahahahahahahahaha LOL, LOL!”

“Maybe you should change your name AGAIN!

How about Grumpy Bear.”

“Grumpy Bear? Heeeee haaa hawwheee lol, lol, how bout'..... Sleepy Bear.... ahhhahahahahahaha

It really isn't funny


at all. Nice try.”

“Everything is funny, as long as it is happening to somebody else." ---Will Rodgers”

“true, but i comes before e, except after c right. Well, this is one of those i before e circumstances.”

“Errrrr... hate to interrupt what's going on here, BUT that ain't the "30-Point Buck" song I know!!! Get me the right one, please!! Ya know, the one that refers to the no good lawman (or something like that) from Illinoize!??!!!”

“You know there........ Budda buddy you are actually starting to sound more like the bully you play Bacpac for. With your own form of self-righteous mannerism. Who made you the bully bouncer of the playground?

I bet you have some hidden hatred towards bully like people from the beatings you received in grade school.”

“BF, look out, lock your doors & windows, I'm coming down to Arkansas and taking your bullets away. I bet you make your own too. I'll be looking for powder & empty casings, lol.”