Bored @ Work

“They are coming out with #3 soon”

“ooh, I have a great one for you.

Virtual Peak Hopping, Switzerland”

“lizs, whoes your daddy?

elf
elf
baby”

“so skullcap, are you still bored?
or are you having fun??”

“You're kidding, right?”

“um no not really are ou still that bored?”

“Oh yeah. I sure am.

I am updating the QuickTime on this dinosaur. It's been downloading for about 35 minutes now. I tried to tell you...”

“oh msn im sorry. ok ill find some good jokes for ya..

juust to get you going


what kind of bee gives milk?







BOOBEE



hay its the only one I know”

“What does MSN have to do with it? (maybe I shouldn't ask)”

“oopps ment to say man but hay you can MSN if ya want to..”

“but did you like my joke?”

“It's cute.”

“Pee By Number


A mother taught her son to go to the bathroom by the numbers.

"1. Open your fly. 2. Take out your equipment. 3. Pull back the skin. 4. Do your business. 5. Let the skin forward. 6. Stow your equipment. 7. Close your fly."

She checked on him often to make sure he had learned his lesson, and each time heard him through the outhouse door saying, "1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6. 7."

She was pleased with his progress until that day when she passed the bathroom door and heard, "3-5, 3-5, 3-5”

“Horny Captain


As the plane began to descend towards the airport, the captain announced "ladies and gentlemen, this is the captain speaking, we are now arriving at JFK airport. On behalf of the staff and crew, i'd like to thank all of you for flying with our airline. We hope you had a pleasant flight and we hope to fly with you again someday, have a safe journey home."

The captain forgot to turn off the intercom. He then turned to his co-pilot and said "damn bob, i really shouldn't have eaten that curry before we took off. When we land and i get to the hotel, im gonna take the biggest #&%!$ of my life. Oh, and you know that new air hostess, Jenny? Oh man, i'm gonna have sex with her so hard, did you see her in that uniform? Mmm hmm, those legs and those huge set of tits, she is one fine piece of ass, i can't wait to tap that!!" the pilots then laughed to themselves over the intercom.

Jenny, the new air hostess who was seeing to the passengers, turned red with embarrassment as she realised what had happened. She then darted towards the cock-pit but tripped over an old lady's walking stick and landed on her back.

The old lady looked down at her and said "no need to rush dear...he said he's going to take a crap first"”

“The Koala Bear Defined


A koala bear was approached by a prostitute. Since he had never been with one before, he was curious and excited. They spent the night together in a hotel, and he went down on her the next morning one last time before departing.

As he was heading for the door, the prostitute yelled, "Hey, what about my money?" The koala turned, gave her a puzzled look and shrugged his shoulders.

She said, "Come here", and pulled a dictionary out of her purse. She pointed to the word "prostitute" and its definition, "Has sex and gets paid."

Finally understanding, the koala borrowed her dictionary, turned to the word "koala" and showed her, "Eats bush and leaves."”

“are they getting any better?”

“Unfortunately, I've already heard all of those. Thank you, though.”

“Time served.”

“LUCKY YOU!”

“Hey lady, your sign fell down.”

“I was reading this thread and got to the part where Mapleleaf says:

"So Scullcap, are you still bored or are you having fun?"


Then Scully says:

"You're kidding, right?"

Cracked me up. Sorry Mapleleaf, but that was the funniest thing on this thread.”