Lets play doctor!

“So I had a physical toady,first in 8 years. The goods news is I am not dead (though to the French readers this is very bad). I had an EKG,blood work,urinalisis and breathing test. I failed the breathing deal. Which I protested. I explained that I ran 3 miles in 21:30 this a.m. without hardly being winded. My powers of persuation were useless. I now have an inhaler I must use till I do better. I guess cigarettes arent full of vitamins and good stuff. I reckon that this will be the necessary motivator to quit. Also she said I need MORE fat in my diet...now I wait for blood work results.”

“Bend over and try to relax.”

“Sooooo, the doctor says you need nuts?”

“When I got back on my feet from my broken ankle I went to the Dr. for a complete check up. You always hear that when one thing goes wrong everything starts going wrong, so I thought I should go. I told them I wanted every kind of blood test known to mankind ran and a complete physical. I was pleasantly and completely surprised that everything turned out just fine, better than fine. The Dr. said he wished his blood workup was a good as mine. Must be genetics because I surely don't try very hard to be good.”

“Hyper,

The cigs are a killer! I've been trying to get rid of them myself for sometime now (but as far as the wife knows, I don't smoke). I don't smoke every day. Just when have an adult beverage or ten. I'm surprised to hear about the fat thing. Most people have to much. My mother inlaw took that zyban (sp?) and it worked for her.”

“My friend that summitted Whitney with me this weekend kept asking me if I wanted to 'take 5', and I told him 'no, I'm ok'. He finally admitted he wanted a 'smoke break'. I was sucking wind, and he smoked 5 cigarettes during our hike! Geesh!”

“Hyper
That don't suprise me. The last time I had all that done they told me I was overweight. What a buncha idiots!”

“So I had a physical toady ... The goods news is I am not dead (though to the French readers this is very bad).

hyperpacker
7/23/01


can i offer you another cigarette?”

“Just got home from a nice trip to the emergency room, they say I had heat related problems, the signs of which sometimes mimic heart attack symptoms. Scary. All I did was mow the yard, the heat didn't bother me at Savage Gulf last weekend. Be careful out there folks!

Hyper, I've smoked heavily for many years and pass the breathing tests every year for my work physical. They keeep telling me it is a good thing that I don't smoke! I don't run or even work up a sweat unless forced to! lol Who knows?”

“Must be krytonite out there under your lawn, lol.”

“my toady is always physical!”

“Open wide and say "Ahhhhhhhhhhhh"!”

“NF”

“north face?”

“BaSO4's prostate story:
Recently, I went for a prostate check (okay, I'm a little young, but when your father, all your uncles and both grandfather's have had prostate cancer, it's never too early). When I got to the Dr.'s office, I found out that old Dr James had retired. Okay, so who is his replacement? Dr. Janet? A woman?.

Anyway, I get into the room and Dr. Janet comes in. It turns out that Dr. Janet is a 30 something babe. Yahooo.

Well Mr Barite everything feels fine and no, I don't want to check you for a hernia. By the way, you could have left your shirt on.

So guys, when you need to get checked, get a good looking female doctor. Not only are their fingers smaller, but your wife will actually encourage you to take your clothes off in front of another woman.”

“A woman would be cool. Beyond that try to find a Doctor with small hands.”

“Did Dr. Janet object to your request for weekly prostate exams?”

“*sniff sniff*

I just came back from the dentist getting a root canal:(

going back next week to finish.

boy that hurt and still does.
but the gas rocked :)”

“Hi!   This is your insurance company..... Your claim has been disallowed.   You can expect a bill from your physician for the full amount.


Playin' doctor ain't like it used to be.”

“Funny, the last time I had a root canal it didn't hurt at all. Tooth cleaning by a heavy handed tech hurts much more, especially when they routinely shred your gum tissue into little ribbons that hang there.”

“wow this thing still hurts!

tilt go suck a blow hole!!
nothing bad about playing doctor!”

“Depends on who you are playing doctor with”

“word”

“Funny, I got that same letter the last time I went to the dentist, Tilt. #&%!$er's sent the bill to the wrong office and then didn't get the bill into the right one on time so the claim was denied.”

“the nerve of those insurance companies wanting something done right”

“root canals aren't that bad.... i've had three.

planing and scaling - now that is true torture.”

“I had the same experience as treebait! Root canal was fine but the last cleaning felt like she was going to rip them right out.”

“thank god for

novacaine
Gas
The Allen Parson Project (Tales of Mystery and Imagination - Edgar Allan Poe)
wearing headphones rocked!!


best trip to the dentist yet!

looking forward to the last trip in two weeks :)”

“What a D.O.R.K...............”

“Sounds like 1977 all over again ----- ROF”

“I have to admit, the next morning hangover is not worth it

PAIN :(”

“Indeed, you are:)”

“WTH?


ratface!!”

“
MERCHANTS LUNCH
(Mike Craver & Tommy Thompson)

I took a walk (he was walkin' up and down Broadway)
I was hungry (had an eye out for a swell cafe)
I was searchin' (he was soundin' for a bite to munch)
I found a spot (he took a table at the Merchants Lunch)

Oh the Merchants Lunch, it was an ocean of gloom
It looked like half past midnight in the afternoon

Down by the bar (a ratfaced manager was pouring suds)
For the boys (Trailways cowboys in their Good Will duds)
And the girls (a pride of peddlepushin' pinball queens)
Chewin' gum (in sweaty combat at the Wizard machines)

But the queen of them all, lookin' big as a fort
Was Broadway Brenda and her derelict court

I ordered a blue plate special and peered out through the room
Just to see what kind of citizens inhabited this gloom
And the hapless visages I saw were innocent of cheer
Though mirthless laughter filled the air inspired by wine and beer

From these helpless accidents of Fortune's careless aim
Broadway Brenda rose upon her queensized six foot frame
I looked away to shun her eyes but I knew it was too late
A hand fell on my shoulder as my gaze fell on my plate

I looked her up and over (and she did the same to me)
Her teeth were green (as green as garden peas)
She shaped her hair (with dishpan fingertips)
An earthquake of excitement shook her Krakatoan hips
Her hands went to her bosom, a hush fell on the crew
An acre of Brenda lay exposed to view ----

These fevered words she whispered as I gazed upon the scene
"It's the custom here at Merchants Lunch to entertain the queen"
I grabbed my hat (and in an instant he was on his feet)
I was sober as a judge down at the county seat

I kept my diesel up to 80 way past Baton Rouge
Made it back to Beaumont for the "Evening News"

[modulate to C]

I own a wideload rig (he pays thousands in tax)
(He's gonna keep it it Texas) I ain't leavin' for snacks
(He's a driving fool) the interstate belongs to me
But I'm never going back (into the state of Tennessee)

Oh the Merchants Lunch, it was an ocean of gloom
It looked like half past midnight in the afternoon......................



Merchants Lunch (1977)
Flying Fish FF-055
The Red Clay Ramblers

”

“LMAO
only you Tilt”

“I was just wondering Where the hell I'd heard that before....     'ratface'?   HMMMmmmm....   It's just one of those things ya don't hear all that often,   LOL

That "Merchants Lunch" is a real humdinger, though, isn't it?”