Hey ya'll, watch this!

“daughter looked and said, "kitty."

I was thinking more along the line of "oh my gawd."”

“Hope you had a change of underwear handy!”

“that dude was HUGE.. and supposedly?..

according to Tennessee Wildlife "there are no panthers in Tennessee.. "

especially the solid black variety..”

“but hey.. supposedly there are no alligators in west Tennessee either..

:)

A couple guys proved that wrong a few years ago.”

“I'll bet the wash lady didn't buy that story either.”

“heh.. I know it happened.. and my kids still remember.. heh.. it was only me.. you could go ahead.. and call me crazee.. but you don't fake out 5 and 12 year old kids..

:)”

“Oh I believe ya. I was just kidding. Everybody knows kids and dawgs don't lie.”

“Yeah, I keep trying to break my kids of that truthfulness habit.”

“I wasn't bowhunting once and stayed in a tree too long because i kept hearing something milling around just out of sight. If this had happened it would have turned out to be an armadillo.

Soooo while comming down out of the tree, right at dark, (using a trophy tree stand and climber) and standing on the bottom part and getting another bite with the climber part the bottom slipped down a few feet, and i accidently lost my balance and let go of the upper part and fell backwards over the front of the stand.

If this had happened, my feet would still strapped be strapped in the stand and the front of the stand would have hit me right about in the middle of the calves. I hung there (by the way it's impossible to pull yourself up from that position, i know that because i would have had my son try to do it in a tree in the yard later)upside down for what seemed like twenty minutes before i started to get weak, finally i got to my knife and cut the straps that were holding my boots into the stand.

If that had happened I would have been really worried about dropping the fifteen feet to ground because i had already dropped the knife down there somewhere and it was dark, so i couldn't see it so i couldn't see what position it was in. I probably wouldn't have landed on it anyway, if this had happened.”

“Well you guys are impressing me, however I am sure that none of you would ever paddle an inflatable kayak in a river festooned with electrified barbed-wire fences, and signs that read "Caution - Underwater Metal Structures." I know I would never do anything that foolhardy.”

“heh, heh, how 'bout th etime I ralleyed a whole hippy commune and gutted a bunch of rish a**holes...

or the time that,

oh never mind!”

“*lol*.. ok ok.. enuff of the deer hunting stories!.. that's another thread.. :)

I wanted hiking/backpacking stories.. but there was this one time.. with a climbing tree stand.. naw.. I will save that story for sometime when it is not being read online.. *s*”

“This has nothing to do with me, let me just make that clear
but, you know how people talk, tell me, what did you hear
with the tent all up and the wind howling just like a cat
the seams opened up and there was a wind sail as fast as that
a fish hook and some fishing line was used for thread
in front of God and everyone, it wasn`t me, I don`t care what was said
I`ll not say more about it, I think that`s about enough
change of heart, change of mind, change of clothes, caught in the buff”

“wadda fah?”

“Yeah what fly said!”

“He got caught bare-assed when his tent blew down.”

“Prolly servicing himself ;)”

“Not alone, but I never said it was me.......did I...lol”

“Caught in the throws of passion, off in the land of pure bliss
it`s wasn`t like it was planed and I yelled hey ya`ll watch this
here`s a crayon, paint your own dirty picture, you will anyway
oh it`s funny now, but my face still gets red, even to this day”

“Thanks for the crayon Bigfoot. Here's my dirty picture:

On a winter's night it's nice to sleep
Wrapped in the arms of a lusty sheep,
To huddle in close when the North wind blows,
to delight in the touch of a cold wet nose,
to feel the caress of wool on your skin
and think of the novel position you're in.
The ecstasy swamps you in waves without end
as you fondle the parts of your furry white friend.”

“Now thats poetic!”

“Violin:

A few more of those and you'll get a National Forest named after you.”

“I'm just hoping Big Foot's not pissed at me now. Speak to me buddy! It was a joke!”

“yup, that was great, but that`s so bad...lol”

“Wipe that smile off of your face and give me back that crayon...lol

It was you and the sheep you were talking about, wasn`t it....lol”

“Don't knock till you've tried it.”

“That puts a new twist on that Llama hike thing,...doesn`t it..lol”

“Now that's sick!”

“We didn`t have sheep growing up, now you got me thinking I might have missed something...NOT....lol”

“I did like your poem very much...”

“I just realized that our 4:02 PM messages came in a second apart. Now that's cool.”

“Violin, did you just make that up or is that one of your childhood nursery rhymes?”

“there is this guy i know, can't think of his name, tawho or maybe tohow, anyway this guy went to the woods. Before he left he checked all his gear and made sure he had everything he needed. So he hikes up to the top of the hill, and sets up camp. He is ready for dinner, a can of stew, yum yum. Well he gets out his can and starts to look for his can opener, but this guy left it on his kitchen table. Not wantin to go hungry he gets a rock and proceeds to beat the can until it has a sizeable hole. He is ready to heat the stew up but instead he knocks over the can and it spills on the ground. The guy eats a power bar and lays down to share a hungry night with the stars.
This guy is a dope, I hope to meet him some day.”

“Violin,....I saw that too..lol”

“BS-

My maaa-maaa used to read it to me.”

“Golf cart flips while being towed

Police allege car's driver reached 50 mph right before accident

By LAURIA LYNCH-GERMAN Milwaukee Journal Sentinal

West Bend - A Richfield man towed a golf cart at speeds of 50 mph, causing the cart to flip over and injure two occupants, Washington County authorities said Monday.

The Washington County Sheriff's Department issued a drunken driving citation and requested two charges of recklessly endangering safety against Nicholas Roethle, 21, following the accident about 10 a.m. Sunday.

Capt. Dale Schmidt said Roethle was driving his red Ford Escort east on Hillcrest Road, towing a golf cart containing two men.

According to the department report:

Michael Ludwig, 19, and Charles Bode, 18, were in the golf cart at the time but both managed to jump out before it flipped over. Ludwig and Bode, who fled the scene, suffered minor injuries in the accident.

When deputies arrived, Roethle was in the Escort, which had come to rest in a cornfield just off Hillcrest Road. Roethle told a deputy that Ludwig was the only person in the cart but that he had run off after the accident.

Roethle said he had driven into the cornfield to try to find Ludwig.

He said he had begun towing the golf cart at a home on Wildlife Drive, and he led deputies there. Lloyd Ebert, 19, of Slinger and Bode, of Allenton, were at the Wildlife Drive home. Ebert told deputies he was in the car with Roethle.

Ebert said Roethle had promised to drive just 15 mph or 20 mph while towing the golf cart but hit 50 mph just before the accident.

Bode told deputies he had thought the car and the cart were traveling about 40 mph and that the car was going dangerously fast.

The men had spent several hours playing with the golf cart, including dragging it through cornfields. The plan was to get the cart to a nearby garage "and put in a snowmobile engine to make it a 'hot rod,' " according to the report.

Roethle was arrested on suspicion of drunken driving and his blood-alcohol level was 0.12, over the 0.10 level considered evidence of intoxication in Wisconsin, according to the Sheriff's Department.”

“Those guys must have been from up north, because in the South it would have been "Hey yall, hold my beer and watch this."”

“I think they saw one episode too many of Monster Garage.”

“Now THAT's entertainment!”

“Photo from the police report:
”

“That's almost as good as what one of my friend's brother-in-law did.

He tried to parasail on the street, being towed by a truck while riding a skateboard.

Unfortunately, he lived.”

“They should schedule these things better so they could show it on ESPN.”

“holy crap stickman”

“That's funny Bitpusher! Isn't that the same little stunt that inspired Gallager (sp?) to retire?”

“I don\'t know why, but I never could stand Gallagher. I think seeing him always reminded me of a very bad time in American fashion and hair styles.”

“I musta missed that.

I stopped watching Gallagher after he went gung-ho with the mallet.”

“Beloit Daily News

A Beloit man is presumed dead after a belly flop contest in the Rock River turned tragic Saturday.
[...]
According to information released by the Rock County Sheriff's Department, Gates was one of several men participating in a ``World Belly Flop Contest'' sponsored by Diamond Jim's Bar, 6530 S. Highway 51.

Three men had jumped about 20 feet from a bridge into the cold water Saturday shortly after 4 p.m., then Gates jumped. Witnesses told police the man surfaced briefly a few times, but was washed downstream by the river's current.

``He came up more than three times,'' said William Gifford, who was waiting for his turn in the contest. ``Then he went under and they couldn't find him.''

Gifford, of Janesville, said the contest was supposed to take place at the dock behind Diamond Jim's, but the other men decided to jump from the bridge.
[...]
Edward Quaerna, of Janesville, said he did not understand why his friend jumped from the bridge.

``He doesn't know how to swim,'' Quaerna said.”

“If someone drinks enough beer, even the most timid non-swimmer can become an olympic swimming hopeful, at least in their own mind. Bars should stick with wet tee shirt contests....fewer injuries that way.”

“I luv yu guys down there.”

“

A visitor to the island accidentally launched his sport utility vehicle into the water along with his boat at the South Beach boat ramp on Saturday, Sea Pines Security said.

The man backed down the ramp with a trailer carrying his boat attached to his SUV at between 11 a.m. and noon, Sea Pines Security director George Breed said. When the trailer got stuck on a rock, the man got out to free it and everything -- the SUV, trailer and boat -- rolled back into the water.

"It's pretty well submerged," Breed said at around 6:30 p.m., as a truck from Tommy's Towing was waiting for the tide to recede before pulling it out. "It should be extracted by the end of the day." Low tide was expected at 11:50 p.m.

www.islandpacket.com”