Are you ready for the new Barbies?

“Finally a Barbie I can relate to! At long last, here are some NEW Barbie
dolls
to coincide with her and OUR aging gracefully. These are a bit more
realistic..
1. Bifocals Barbie. Comes with her own set of blended-lens
fashion frames in six wild colors (half-frames too!), neck
chain and large-print editions of Vogue and Marth Stewart Living.

2. Hot Flash Barbie. Press Barbie's bellybutton and watch her
face turn beet red while tiny drops of perspiration appear on
her forehead. Comes with hand-held fan and tiny tissues.

3. Facial Hair Barbie. As Barbie's hormone levels shift, see
her whiskers grow. Available with teensy tweezers and magnifying mirror.
4. Flabby Arms Barbie. Hide Barbie's droopy triceps with these
new, roomier-sleeved gowns. Good news on the tummy front,
too-muumuus with tummy-support panels are included.

5. Bunion Barbie. Years of disco dancing in stiletto heels have definitely
taken
their toll on Barbie's dainty arched feet. Soothe her sores with the
pumice stone
and plasters, then slip on soft terry mules.

6. No-More-Wrinkles Barbie. Erase those pesky
crow's-feet and lip lines with a tube of Skin Sparkle-Spackle, from
Barbie'
ownline of exclusive age-blasting cosmetics.

7. Soccer Mom Barbie. All that experience as acheer-leader
is really paying off as Barbie dusts off her old high school
megaphone to root for Babs and Ken, Jr. Comes with mini van in robin-egg
blue
or white and cooler filled with
doughnut holes and fruit punch.

8. Mid-life Crisis Barbie. It's time to ditch Ken.
Barbie needs a change, and Alonzo(her personal trainer) is
just what the doctor ordered, along with Prozac. They're
hopping in her new red Miata and heading for the Napa Valley to open a
B&B. includes a real tape of "Breaking Up Is Hard to Do."

9. Divorced Barbie. Sells for $199.99. Comes with
Ken's house, Ken's car, and Ken's boat.
10. Recovery Barbie. Too many parties have finally caught up
with the ultimate party girl. Now she does Twelve
Steps instead of dance stepsClean and sober, she's going to
meetings religiously. Comes with a little copy of The Big Book
and a six-pack of Diet Coke.

11. Post-Menopausal Barbie. This Barbie wets her
pants when she
sneezes, forgets where she puts things, and cries a lot. She is
sick and tired of Ken sitting on the couch watching the tube, clicking
through
the channels. Comes with Depends and Kleenex. As a bonus this year, the
book "Getting In Touch with
Your Inner Self" is included.”

“LOL”

“I should have edited the cut and paste. Too late.”

“I'm a Barbie girl
In a Barbie world
Made of plastic
Life's fantastic
You can brush my hair
Undress me everywhere


Today just ended a 6 week reprieve from that and other songs. *sigh*

Too funny, LyndyS!!”

“They could come out with the TT Barbie. They could call her "new girl Barbie". Then they could make "Lumberyard Cowboy Ken".”

“walkindude Ken, and Susan Barbie chewing off her foot because Ken wants her to hike. What did you do on her first hike, 15 miles up and down, in six hours? Just kidding, you probably gave her at least seven hours.”

“my wife always gets 7 hours of up and down, and she never complains!”

“Is that per year???”

“Are you sure she is awake?”

“LOL LyndyS!!
She don't get into being dirty, cold, wet, & sore for days. I don't know why.

Seriously, She's been twice and the last time it was HOT, then it rained. Her ankle hurt and then camp was tooooo far away. The next day we went 1.5 miles to a road crossing and then she made us hitchhike back to the truck. I was imbarrased have been on the road needing a ride but she said she couldn't do the 8 miles of trail back. She's backpackin shy now.”

“Don't feel bad walkindude my old lady(23) and myself(34) went to Mt St Helens and did Lava Canyon down to the ship and back. It took about 3 hrs and she absolutely refuses to ever go hiking and god forbid you even bring up bping! I thought at her age she would be able to keep up but obviousl not. So now I solo hike/bp and I think I like it better that way anyway.”

“Spam took his wife hiking once and she stepped on a snake. she's never been again either.”

“I'm glad my wife enjoys it with me (hiking and backpacking).”

“My husband went camping once... ONCE! and brought a little TV. ...We're divorced now...”

“BTW thanks LyndyS I laughed so hard I had to log off to go change my drawers. I think hot flashes are great, I take a summer weight bag BPing in cold temps and somtimes that thing gets flung off!”

“Wolfsister, my husband would rather watch TV than camp, too. He is finding that hiking is calming after a stressful week though (he is in marketing, and he is the strong silent type. Talking for work frays his nerves.)

As for hot flashes, tofu is supposed to be helpful. Takes some practice seasoning it. I had the flashes after each baby was born, and really hated changing nightshirts three times a night.”

“Yea, My husband was the strong silent type too...strong smelling because of his silent farting!”

“He sounds like me. LOL!”

“Must be a guy thing.”

“My seven year old told me, "It smells good here." After a month of visiting her Dad. "I haven't had to smell farts once! Daddy and Dominic fart all the time."

RFLMAO!!”

“I guess it is a guy thing. LOL”

“Guys have dogs so they can pass the blame off on them, as in "Must be the dog!"”

“LyndyS, those Barbie ideas are great. I read that list to my mom over the phone and she cracked up.”

“Oh my gosh! Now that is funny! Lactating Barbie complete with leakage stains!”

“Rollin on the floor laughin my mother fu”

“er................ Rollin on the floor laughin my mother fu*kin @ss off!!”

“This is no joke! Note it comes from the EPA web site.

Aging Barbie dolls may pose health hazard

I wonder about old backpacking equipment?”

“So that's why the Battlebots always attack the Barbie hood ornaments first in the matches!

Anyone else see the Barbie Museum in "Rat Race"?”

“Do you want to revisit another old thread?

Are you ready for the new Barbies?
"Finally a Barbie I can relate to! At long last, here are some NEW Barbie dolls to coincide with her and OUR aging gracefully. These are a bit more realistic..
1. Bifocals Barbie. Comes with her own set of blended-lens
fashion frames in six wild colors (half-frames too!), neck chain and large-print editions of Vogue and Marth Stewart Living.

2. Hot Flash Barbie. Press Barbie's bellybutton and watch her face turn beet red while tiny drops of perspiration appear on
her forehead. Comes with hand-held fan and tiny tissues.

3. Facial Hair Barbie. As Barbie's hormone levels shift, see
her whiskers grow. Available with teensy tweezers and magnifying mirror.
4. Flabby Arms Barbie. Hide Barbie's droopy triceps with these
new, roomier-sleeved gowns. Good news on the tummy front, too-muumuus with tummy-support panels are included.

5. Bunion Barbie. Years of disco dancing in stiletto heels have definitely taken their toll on Barbie's dainty arched feet. Soothe her sores with the pumice stone and plasters, then slip on soft terry mules.

6. No-More-Wrinkles Barbie. Erase those pesky crow's-feet and lip lines with a tube of Skin Sparkle-Spackle, from Barbie' own line of exclusive age-blasting cosmetics.

7. Soccer Mom Barbie. All that experience as a cheer-leader
is really paying off as Barbie dusts off her old high school
megaphone to root for Babs and Ken, Jr. Comes with mini van in robin-egg blue or white and cooler filled with doughnut holes and fruit punch.

8. Mid-life Crisis Barbie. It's time to ditch Ken. Barbie needs a change, and Alonzo(her personal trainer) is just what the doctor ordered, along with Prozac. They're hopping in her new red Miata and heading for the Napa Valley to open a B&B. includes a real tape of "Breaking Up Is Hard to Do."

9. Divorced Barbie. Sells for $199.99. Comes with Ken's house, Ken's car, and Ken's boat.
10. Recovery Barbie. Too many parties have finally caught up
with the ultimate party girl. Now she does Twelve Steps instead of dance steps. Clean and sober, she's going to meetings religiously. Comes with a little copy of The Big Book and a six-pack of Diet Coke.

11. Post-Menopausal Barbie. This Barbie wets her pants when she
sneezes, forgets where she puts things, and cries a lot. She is
sick and tired of Ken sitting on the couch watching the tube, clicking through the channels. Comes with Depends and Kleenex. As a bonus this year, the book "Getting In Touch with
Your Inner Self" is included."

LyndyS
11:43:56 AM
07/26/01”

“I like 8.

8D”

“LyndyS That is just too funny! You crack me up!”

“Gimme some of that soccer mom Barbie!!”

“Jesus loves the little Barbies
All the Barbies in the world
Red and yellow black and white
They are precious in his sight
Jesus loves the little Barbies of the world”

“Here is Omahiker's addition to my post (which came from my Dad):

Check these Barbies out”

“Too funny Lyndy!”

“Monday, August 5

Formula Ford car swiped during night
Associated Press


TORONTO -- The pink Barbie-sponsored Formula Ford driven by Ashley Taws was stolen while the 18-year-old driver and the rest of her AIM Autosport team slept in a motel.

Taws and teammate Louis-Phillipe Dumoulin raced Sunday in Trois Rivieres, Quebec. The entire team stayed near the track Sunday night and planned to head home to Toronto on Monday morning.

They woke to find the team's truck and trailer gone, along with the race cars, a scooter, tools and equipment.

The thieves also tried to take a second truck and trailer carrying Taws' show car and promotional items, but were unsuccessful.

The race cars, a pair of Aero 2s, were built by the team engineers brothers Ian and Keith Willis, in the early 90s and have been driven by some of Canada's top aspiring racing talents.

The next race for the team is at Mosport in two weeks.

Last month in Toronto, Taws became the first female driver to win a pole in a professional Canadian racing event, taking the honors in a Formula Ford race during the Toronto Molson-Indy weekend.”

“

KUWAIT CITY - In her 45 years, Barbie has been a doctor, pilot and figure skater, to name just a few accomplishments of this busty vinyl overachiever. But some in the Muslim world also consider her a decadent symbol of the West - hence Saudi Arabia's recent decision to ban Barbie along with her "revealing clothes and shameful postures."

At Toyland in Kuwait's huge Marina Mall, a prominent display is devoted to the Barbie-sized Fulla and six separately packaged outfits. The basic doll comes in her "outdoor fashion," the black head scarf and long black abaya, or robe, that many Muslim women don in public. Befitting Fulla's upper-crust status, both abaya and scarf are trimmed in gold.

http://www.sptimes.com/2004/01/12/Floridian/Coverup_girl.shtml”

“Cool! Repressed, no say in her life Barbie!”

“Didn't stay gone long, did he? ;-)”

“[grin] you said it stovestomper!”

“I have NEVER seen a woman of Middle Eastern descent wear pink or carry a purse.”

“Why even bother with that? Just don't sell'em. Thing in this world doesn't have to be Americanized....”

“Glad to see you back, V! Who's your girlfriend?”

“She's not bald under that thing, is she?”

“I was worried this might be some Danababy thread. LOL!”

“Nah, this is MY thread!”