I'm Jack Tripper!

“In light of the departure of newgirl, and the lack of stories on non-bp related relationships, I thought I'd post my current situation for ya'll to pick apart, laugh at, or poke fun at.

I'm moving to Cleveland in two weeks because my current roommate took a job out of town, and all of my major accounts are up there. My housemate is somebody I recently met through a freind about 3 months ago. She just bought a house about 3 months ago, and ditched her fiance of 5 yeras about two weeks ago. She's a teacher, has very little $, no furniture, and happens to be pretty damned hot, has great taste, and we seem to have much in common. (I have a ton of furniture, and she can afford the place if I live there)

Should I be my normal gentleman self, a Jack Tripper type roommate.

or.......

Cop a Mr. Furley attitude toward the situation, and swing for the fences.

I have both options available to me.

Fire away!”

“Broke up with her fiance a few weeks ago, eh? Ms.Cleo would say she's gonna want to be single for a while, you know that don't you?

What a great idea...live with a girl you not gonna do ;(”

“Your right Buddur, and to top it off, she knows my long story, and plays on an all female rugby team.

Gooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaallllllllllllllllllllllllllll!”

“BB- I have a male roommate, and he tried that SH!T with me when he first moved in, and it REALLY turned me off


If it's right, just wait & 'stuff will happen'

(if not, you're just gonna piss her off)”

“Buddha Bear- B.T.W. that you THINK you have both options available to you is your major mistake”

“BB play the character Jack had to play with Mr.Furley...A gay man living with the ladies. LOL”

“Life is too short. Have fun. Be sure to wear a rubber!”

“listen to biz, man.”

“Nail Her!”

“Jack T. Ripper??????”

“Has your Prince Charming turned into a Toad?

Call Ms. Cleo RIGHT AWAY!!!!

Dude DO HER, NOW!”

“Crissy was the bomb digity... gotta back it up YO!”

“I've still got my Transition Man costume somewhere if you'd like to borrow it.

Two weeks, eh? What was it that Bette Midler used to say? "When Lucky Eddie goes down, he goes down in flames!"

JMO... *G*”

“Love Is A Burning Thing
And It Makes A Fiery Ring
Bound By Wild Desire
I Fell Into A Ring Of Fire


CHORUS:
I Fell Into A Burning Ring Of Fire
I Went Down, Down, Down
And The Flames Went Higher
And It Burns, Burns, Burns
The Ring Of Fire
The Ring Of Fire


I Fell Into A Burning Ring Of Fire
I Went Down, Down, Down
And The Flames Went Higher
And It Burns, Burns, Burns
The Ring Of Fire
The Ring Of Fire


The Taste Of Love Is Sweet
When Hearts Like Ours Meet
I Fell For You Like A Child
Oh, But The Fire Went Wild


CHORUS
I Fell Into A Burning Ring Of Fire
I Went Down, Down, Down
And The Flames Went Higher
And It Burns, Burns, Burns
The Ring Of Fire
The Ring Of Fire


I Fell Into A Burning Ring Of Fire
I Went Down, Down, Down
And The Flames Went Higher
And It Burns, Burns, Burns
The Ring Of Fire
The Ring Of Fire


And It Burns, Burns, Burns
The Ring Of Fire
The Ring Of Fire”

“rad- so what was the line that finally got your sweetie in the sac?


(this otta be good)”

“has the thought ever crossed your mind that she is using you to be able to keep the house? I'm not trying to dump on you, but if she just recently bought a house, then kicked the old man out only to realize that she cannot afford it without a roomate, maybe shes playing you for the sucker!”

“I'm just using my roommate to feed Rosco when I go hiking Ü”

“A friend of mine actually had a guy use this line on her:
The feremone sensor in my nose is going crazy around you...my nose...is all swollen up!


????”

“no, it didn't work”

“biz is someone we know!

or she wouldn't have asked that!


if you really want to know, then email me and i'll tell you.”

“Good point switchback, but that's not the case. If anything, we are helping each other out. I needed a place to stay immediately, and she was the best option out there. If I get any wind of her using me, I'm outta there (no signed lease). Also, we may be getting another roommate (one of her rugby players, who is also a hottie) which would make things even better. The house is a huge old house, and I have the whole 2nd floor to myself (3 bedrooms) All this for 1/3 of what I'm paying now.”

“Biz is right BB, both of her 1st two posts are right on target.
If its right, it will happen. If its wrong, or too soon and you "swing for the fences" one of two things are likely to happen:
1) you will piss her off big time.
2) one of you will have regrets and you will have messed up your living situation and your relationship for something that could have turned out much better (either by way of friendship or romance).

Oh yeah, there is that wise old saying:
"you don't sh!t where you eat"”

“True. Thanks for the good advice and witty sarcasm all.”

“Someone pLease post the lyrics to Threes Company!”

“!$%&s! try this”

“Rad- you splained it all in your Love or Money Post..der

wanna make out? mameeka?”

“Ode to Sonny Crockett

Buying Sixteen at age thirteen was my vice.
Pin-ups of you obscured my bedroom's pink
Walls, you and Tubbs cruising in your Ferrari
Or hanging out with your alligator on your boat.
And this month's centerfold, you in white pants,
Tan chest glistening, your face wanting a razor.

"Somebody ought to buy that oily guy a razor,"
Dad says, "and that poster only encourages vice.
Looks like that schmuck forgot to button his pants."
The line of hair visible in the gap makes my face pink
As Dad speaks of decency. He's missed the boat,
Bitter because he drives a Caprice, not a Ferrari.

Sonny, take me out of suburbia in that Ferrari.
Dad folds your crotch under, since he lacks a razor.
Chest's okay, but no going below deck on this boat.
Dad leaves to forage for oily pork rinds, his vice.
I know he preferred my bedroom little girl pink,
Not riddled with shots of you in unbuttoned pants.

As I watch alone on Friday, Sheena Easton pants
Moaning as she touches you in the speeding Ferrari.
In garish Miami, the streets are conch shell pink
Paths dotted with white powder from a razor
Blade. You and Rico Tubbs go undercover, the vice
cops with the cool clothes, the hot cars, the fast boat.

I fantasize about knocking that Sheena off your boat.
Then she's shot by a Cuban in parachute pants,
As if my lust has evil power, my dreaming a vice.
A Phil Collins dirge plays as you brood in the Ferrari.
Before the funeral, will you break down, buy a razor,
Wear black or the usual white with a T-shirt pink.

Above your tan Gucci loafers, your ankles are pink.
No socks can be found on shoppers at RV and boat
shows. Because of you, Wal-Mart sells a special razor.
Men with perpetual three day stubble and crisp pants
Take dates to the auto mall to sit in a sleek Ferrari.
Junior high posers steal Ray-Bans, dabbling in vice.

The show-ending sunset is pink, but there is still vice.
Someday I'll be on that boat and in that Ferrari.
I unfurl my pin-up. Is that a razor in your pants?”

“oh, i didn't explain it ALL!”

“BB- Didn't you mean to post that on the Trail Songs thread?”

“Lines you wished Jack would have said:

"Listen girls, why don't you take your clothes off, grab me a Rolling Rock and touch my monkey while you make out with each other."

This wishful quote was brought to you by......
ALCOA's Fantastic Finishes”

“You'll see that life is a frolic and laughter is calling for you......Down at our rendez-vous...

I never could get that part!”

“Jack Tripper: A Tribute

I. Prologue: You Don't Know Jack
You see the klutz, you see the fool,
The awkward graduate of cooking school,
But look beneath the clumsy cover,
And quite a swingin' cat you will discover.

II. He Came and Knocked on Their Door
They found him passed out in the bath,
It wasn't hard to do the math:
He partied hard, he got too drunk,
His clothes were wrinkled and he stunk.
But Crissy and her roommate Janet
Had hearts of gold and brains of granite,
They took him in, their cares were true:
A roommate short with rent soon due.
His name was Jack, he was not blessed
With coordination skills that were the best:
Instead, this Tripper's name was earned
With falls and bumps and carpet burns.

III. He Took a Step That Was New
But through the bruises Jack survived,
And hit on every single girl alive
Along with his good buddy Larry,
A used car salesman (gold chains & hairy).
The Regal Beagle, their home base,
What a wild, happenin' place.
They'd chat it up with their bartender
And wait for ladies to surrender.
Jack's charm was like a storm, so strong and windy,
Too much for Krissy and for Cindy,
But Janet hung tough, through better and worse,
And so did Terri, dyke-face nurse.

IV. Epilogue: A Jack of All Trades
He took his hits, from girls and walls,
And yet old Jack stood proud and tall:
He had a pure and decent soul,
And made a mean tuna casserole.
He'll always be a guy who rocks,
The classic sitcom paradox:
He was the pride of all things manly,
And was gay pride to Ralph and Stanley.”

“ever seen 'sling blade'?”

“LOL Dr. laura, that was too funny!”

“
Yeah baby, let's rendez-vous!”

“
Don't forget lil ole' me!”

“It's an impossible situation.

If you go for the fences, you will either be (a) out on your ass, (b) no longer single, a fate worse than death.

But if you don't take the opportunity, you will become friends for life - again, not a great option.

I think I'd move in and date someone outside of the house. That way she can have time to stew. Nothing more intense than wanting something you can't have.”

“ooooo. good stuff, rl.”

“BB- Take reformed lurker's advice-that works!”

“Yeah, I think I'll just go with the flow, and see what happens.”

“course, then you could have the opposite problem

what if she's psycho and she likes YOU?

(didn't hyperpacker post something a few days ago?)”

“Whatever you do, don't tell her about TT

cause all yer deepest darkest secrets are posted here (and she'll see that you were flirtin' with newgirl for months IcKKKK)”

“rad? did you get my email or did I send it to no one? still waitin' for the answer..”

“I flirted with newgirl once, I've been flirtin' with you Biz for two weeks now, and YOU may be psycho for all I know. Just make sure the machete is sharpened if you are, i want it over with quickly.”

“Have your body and emotions toyed with can be fun Ü

so what if I'm psycho!”

“you'd like it Ü”

“You womefolk can't toy with my emotions anymore, I'm teflon baby, and if you toy with the body, you're playing with fire, but I'm sure you'd like the protein regardless.”