The College Football thread

“Violin, dude, you forgot to log out as the troll on that last post.”

“Its my Halloween costume chili36. I'm getting in the spirit a day early.”

“By the way, I have 45 yard line tickets to Saturday's game.








I'm painting the family room.”

“Doesn't that suck when you post as yourself and accidently use your troll name. That happens to me every once in a while. Oh well. I think I did that last week. I feel your pain Violin.”

“Where's Dunadan? The $hit must have hit the uhhh P-trap up in Kansas. He must be busy.”

“I did not read all the threads, but how are my Irish doing?”

“I don't know. Who are these Irish you speak of? Has real football been picked up in the British Isles? I thought they like that soccer variety over there.”

“Man, I can just read the jealousy oozing out of your last post, Dayhiker. The undefeated Irish are just too hard to take, aren't they? Bet you wish a certain crimson team was undefeated, huh?
I will try to get off of work in time to post my uncannily accurate predictions, tomorrow. Stay tuned.
Rock Chalk, Jayhawk, Kayyyyy Uuuuu!!!!!!!”

“Jealousy over Notre Dame? Nastiness towards Tennessee? And a pathological aversion to Orange? Dayhiker, you can't hide behind that southern gentleman shtick anymore. You’re not fooling anyone with that faux gentility anymore, Dayhiker. We'll all think about you as our teams head for their bowl games. In Florida's case, that would be the Toilet Bowl.

Jawja week folks! Ol’ Stevey used to make Jawja THE priority team to beat every year. I loved that man. What an atmosphere. A 50-50 crowd split at the GATOR BOWL in Jacksonville. THE WORLD’S LARGEST OUTDOOR COCKTAIL PARTY!

College football is crazy this year. The geezer teams like Bama, Ohio St. and ND are making a comeback. I’m surprised that Army, Yale, and Harvard aren’t in the top 20 with the way some of those moldy oldie teams have made a resurgence.

I’m still on a roll this year. My picking stinks and my football god title is ripe for the picking. Let’s see who I can jinx this week:


Auburn covers 3 against Miss Sippi
Pittsburgh gets 13 from Va. Tech.
Boston College gets 10 from ND
Colorado gets 12 from OkieDokey
Iowa covers 9 against Wisconsin
Ohio St. covers 12.5 against Minnesota
Nebraska gets 4.5 from Texas
FLORIDA BEATS THE DOG-SNOT OUT OF JAWJA!”

“we play that perrinial powerhouse, troy st, in war memorial stadium. don't think i'll have to pull off the streaker routine to distract them this week. . . .”

“{eyeroll}”

“THE TENSION BUILDS....

UF defensive tackle Bryan Savelio, from Henderson Nevada, didn’t understand the atmosphere surrounding the Florida/jawja game until the first time he attended the game and saw the jawja fans in action, last year. For Savelio, the bus ride to the stadium was an unexpected experience. “You’d see old people, young people, little kids all standing by the roadside, giving you the finger."



Skinny little local newspaper columnist Jeff Darlington from The Independent Florida Alligator ran into a jawja fan the night before the game last year. The jawja fan gave him a black eye, broken nasal bone, sinus bone, orbital bone, and a skull fracture to his maxillary bone. He had two surgeries that left a titanium plate and two screws in his nose. After the game, upon seeing Jeff’s injury, coach Spurrier asked, “Did a Georgia fan do that to you?” After Jeff answered that it was so, coach Spurrier responded, “Yup, that’s why it’s so important we beat those bastards every year. But I’ll bet they weren’t hooting and hollering on the way home.”



I went with some friends to the Florida/jawja game when it was played in Athens Ga. After having numerous fans drive by us screaming obscenities, an old gentleman in a jawja costume stopped and apologized to us for the behavior of the carload of rednecks that had just passed by and spewed their filth in our direction. He was the only class act I met all day.

Jawja fans stood on a railroad trestle above a street where GATOR fans passed below. They poured beer and threw glass bottles down on the GATOR fans while shouting all manner of obscenities.

At the game a group of girls, above us in the stands, shouted things at us that would have made a construction worker blush.

During the game, we sat next to a couple of young GATOR fans. These kids were about 18 or 19 and were just having a good time rooting for their team. As the GATORS were destroying those wretched bullfrogs, a man who must have been in his seventies tapped one of the kids on the shoulder. When the kid turned around, the old man angrily told him that the kid had a target on his back and if he wanted to make it out of the stadium in one piece he had better tone down his enthusiasm. The kid got so scared that he and his buddy left the game.




Folks, please excuse the fact that I DESPISE jawja. In my opinion, their fans are the most no-class SOBs I have ever encountered. To say that I am fired up about this game would be a major understatement. I have never encountered a pro sport that engenders such fierce emotions. In spite of my horrible feelings towards jawja, isn’t emotional rivalry what college football is all about? I just wish that I had the added feeling of respect for those dawgs.”

“Continue the winning this week

Alabama by 20
Ole Miss by 1
Kentucky by 13
South Carolina by 3
Georgia by 4
KANSAS STATE by 63

Other meaningless action:
Oregon St by 21
Arizona St by 3
Oregon by 24
Oklahoma by 3
Nebraska by 3
Notre Dame by 2
Ok St by 1
Ohio St by 4
Iowa by 6
Michigan by 24
Virginia Tech by 2”

“ESPN GameDay will be on hand to watch the 81st game of the Florida/jawja series.

Listed in the sports almanac as one of the best 50 rivalries in the country, this is already the most unique game in the country. Every year the two teams square off at a neutral site (Alltel Stadium (formerly the GatorBowl) in Jacksonville) with the crowd split 50-50. Florida/jawja first started playing each other in 1915. The game has been played in Jacksonville since 1933. Florida trails in the series 32-46-2 even though they have won 11 of the last 12 games.

This year's game is a first. This will be the first time the game will be held at night. Kickoff will be at 7:45 on ESPN.

Hopefully, jawja fans won't be so drunk by that time that they remember to wear shoes to the game.”

“I didn't realize you were that old arc. If the game has been played in Jacksonville since 1933 and you went to a game in Athens then we'll presume that was 1932. We'll further assume you were a minimum of age 20 at the time. That puts your birthdate at around 1912, depending on what month it falls on. Happy 90th arc. I hope I have that much spunk when I'm 90!”

“Ole Siss by 1, come on Cocoa. You can't pull against the Riverboat Gambler. Doesn't someone with the testicular fortitude/lunacy to fake a punt from his own endzone against the miny GATORS deserve more credit than that?”

“WHO is Cocoa Williams? Cocoa, are you one of the 3 guys in tight, paisley print, one-shoulder-strap, spandex jumpsuits I saw at Halloween one year ago... dancing and kissing each other??

Hmmmmmmmmm........

Anyhooo... mark my words... We'll have a second loss by Ohio State before season's end.”

“Ohio State hasn't lost yet liz. :)”

“cocoa is a veteran of the Footballpalooza.....

don't give him any #&%!$, lizs...”

“



”

“Now I'm dizzy.

And tell me more about the infamous Cocoa Williams.....”

“Arclite proves my point every time he opens his mouth.”

“Go Wounded Amoebas! Beat Miami...that way ND will move up in the polls and when we whip up on the Amoebas, our strength of schedule will go up!

And go Florida! Beat up on the Dawgs, so that ND moves up in the polls too!

And go Colorado, Minnesota and Pitt!

oh, and Go ND! Let's not repeat 1993--let's kill that "safety school" this year.”

“I'm Cocoa Krispies Drunken Uncle”

“He's back by popular demand. It's time for the Uncle Dunadan Show.
Let's get right to the heart of the matter. Will the Dawgs run out from under the porch and bite the Goiters? Uncle Dunny says it's so. Georgia by 10.
Colorado could do to the Sooners what they did to the Huskers last year, but your old pal Dunadan says that Oklahoma's defense will be ready. Oklahoma by 7.
AP football writer predicts that Pitt will outscore Va Tech. Dunny don't think so. Techies by 14.
Bud Bare, this one's for you. Now, we all know, don't we boys and girls, that Glen Mason Lusts with a capital "L" after the coaching position at Ohio State, (his alma mater). What better way to get serious consideration for the job than upsetting the lucky Buckeyes? It shall be! Minnesota by 3.
Iowa will keep on a roll.
Does Bama have a game this weekend? Doesn't look that way.
No visiting team since 1991 has won in Nebraska. This will be the best opportunity for that to change, and Uncle Dunny says that Tejas will overcome the trend and win by 10.
Chili, you had better stay home or, better yet, come over to your old Uncle Dunadan's house and we can hide together. Lou will have your number, this year. Looks to Dunny like Lou-24, Fulmer-13.
Bowling Green will remain undefeated, and get no serious consideration for a top bowl bid.
My apologies to all of you buzzards waiting to pick at Notre Dame's cold dead carcass. Ain't gonna happen this week. The Fighting Irish are going to study their history and not allow a repeat of the BC debacle. Is there anybody who follows college football that can't hear the Notre Dame fight song in their head at any given moment?
Iowa State needs a win in a bad way. Missouri won't make it easy, but the Cyclones will prevail.
The mighty mighty Jayhawks will fold in the second quarter to Kansas State. It will be a victory if they can hold on that long. I'm going out of town.
Oregon will win, as will Wash St.”

“wouldn't it be cool if we ended up with 4 undefeated teams this year? man, i hoe it happens, then maybe we'll get a playoff system in 2 years......



















GO HOGS!”

“Dunny YOU'RE MY FAV!!!

Football prognosticator, that is. :-)”

“Awww, Lizzy, that's nice of you to make me blush like that. Go Hawkeyes.”

“Oh Uncle Dunny, you left out my beloved Razorbacks. Don't you realize we are playing a game with national significance. Mighty Troy State is coming to town & it should be an epic battle. I can't beleive its not on national tv.”

“For the first time this season, Army cannot lose. They will lose their next game next week at the hands of Air Force (God how I hate having to say that!). They have a bye this week.

On Nov. 23, I will be going to see the Army-Navy rugby match. Or is it a scrum? I don't know much about rugby, but understand that the players donate blood during the match, scrum, game, tilt, fight, battle, whatever the heck they call it. Rugby is an excellent way to give blood I am told.”

“arky, do you know what time we play today?”

“Uncle Tunacan kicks all forms of ass!

(so far)


8)”

“whatchu talkin bout willis?”

“We play at 1:00.”

“What it was... was FOOTBALL.

Ever hear that routine Andy Griffith did about 200 years ago when he was a standup comedian?

Well looky-hair, wouldja...

a TON of RealMedia football clips with Andy's bit at the top of the middle column.

Well CRUD. That routine won't play. How about some Jerry Clower or Cheech & Chong's "White World of Sports"?

Enjoy!”

“oh yeah, i love dat ole bit. he shoulda done more standup.


tanx arky !”

“Football combines two of the worst things in American life. It is violence punctuated by committee meetings.

--George Will


Does this mean that George Will is a... <GASP>... WUSSIE??”

“The meek shall inherit the earth!”

“Illinois is a wonderful state, yes it is. And I love college football.

And ain't Boston College grand? What a great team they have.”

“Somebody shoot up here amongst us! ONE of us gots ta get some relief!”

“Chili, you had better stay home or, better yet, come over to your old Uncle Dunadan's house and we can hide together. Lou will have your number, this year. Looks to Dunny like Lou-24, Fulmer-13.

Dunadan
10:07:38 PM
11/01/02

Dear Uncle Dunny:

Promise never to pick UT as a winner again. You are a perfect zero on this. I want you to maintain your average.

Thanks,”

“That was a pretty good game chili. The boy from AR had about 130 yds rushing. Alabama wins big, Auburn survives Ole Missy & the Hogs whooped up on Troy State.I guess all the Footballpalooza hikers are happy. Oh wait, Kansas is hammered by K State. Sorry Dunadan, I couldn't pass it up.”

“i din't even have to do my streaker routine......WHEW! it's cold!”

“Did you know......

2 of the remaining undefeated teams hail from the birthplace and breadbasket of football....

that's right - Ohio.

September is for pretenders and November is for contenders.

Ladies and Gentlemen, it's November 2

Buckeyes - soon to be National Champs!”

“That Georgia - Florida game was great! The only thing missing was soap. :)

”

“Hey BB, I'm not sure if that was the UGA/UF football game or the National Mullet Convention.”

“LMAO dayhiker!”

“Newgene, What HAVE you done?”

“Geee... that kinda sucked!”

“Not too bad with the picks this week. Glad you enjoyed FLORIDA/jawja, Buddah. I thought it was pretty sploppy except for one stat:

jawja was 0 for 13 on third down conversions. Now THAT'S defense.


There is justice!

Even though the dark side had seduced people such as cocoa and Dunadunce, the evil empire has been destroyed. The horrible forces of red and black have been vanquished

GOOD TRIUMPHS OVER EVIL!

All is right with the world.”