The College Football thread

“Hey guys, let me give you a hand. A hand for what you ask? Well, I really like all of you, and I wouldn't want you to get hurt JUMPING on the Maurice Clarett for Heisman bandwagon. Get on now, enjoy the ride.

I Gesser that Washington State no longer has a heisman hopeful after yesterday.

BUCKS RULE!

BTW - My alma mater (the Toledo Rockets) are in top 5 in nation in offense and scoring.”

“but they ain't through knocking a few more off yet.”

“Texas and Bama have one opponent in common, so far. We have both played North Texas of the Sunbelt. Here are the statistical comparisons for the two games. Go Big 12

________________________________________________
UNT UA
FIRST DOWNS................... 11 25
RUSHES-YARDS (NET)............ 37-50 58-336
PASSING YDS (NET)............. 91 198
Passes Att-Comp-Int........... 19-10-0 19-14-2
TOTAL OFFENSE PLAYS-YARDS..... 56-141 77-534
Fumble Returns-Yards.......... 0-0 0-0
Punt Returns-Yards............ 0-0 5-32
Kickoff Returns-Yards......... 5-83 2-28
Interception Returns-Yards.... 2-41 0-0
Punts (Number-Avg)............ 7-38.4 0-0.0
Fumbles-Lost.................. 3-2 3-1
Penalties-Yards............... 7-65 8-80
Possession Time............... 26:14 33:46
Sacks By: Number-Yards........ 1-7 5-50

________________________________________________
NT UT
FIRST DOWNS................... 11 16
RUSHES-YARDS (NET)............ 38-90 34-27
PASSING YDS (NET)............. 55 187
Passes Att-Comp-Int........... 20-6-0 29-17-0
TOTAL OFFENSE PLAYS-YARDS..... 58-145 63-214
Fumble Returns-Yards.......... 0-0 0-0
Punt Returns-Yards............ 1-0 5-138
Kickoff Returns-Yards......... 5-89 0-0
Interception Returns-Yards.... 0-0 0-0
Punts (Number-Avg)............ 10-37.9 6-39.5
Fumbles-Lost.................. 3-2 1-0
Penalties-Yards............... 9-93 13-100
Possession Time............... 28:40 31:20
Third-Down Conversions........ 3 of 16 4 of 15
Fourth-Down Conversions....... 1 of 2 1 of 2
Red-Zone Scores-Chances....... 0-0 5-6
Sacks By: Number-Yards........ 8-51 2-6”

“Tis a sad, sad day in Ioway City..... sniff, sniff”

“Cheers to you and your team, Baume66! Gotta love the old man.
Dayhiker, I assume that you are saying that the Tide could beat Texas in a head-to-head matchup? I would love to see it, but I don't think Bama would win that one.
Thankyou, one and all who pulled for the mighty Mangino and his Jayhawks. They won 44-24. The coach wasn't overly excited about the victory. He told the guys to enjoy it, but to save some exhuberance for when they beat a 1-A team.”

“i gonna be at the bama-Ark game on the 28th. i'll think aboutcha when were kickin ya'll's bootay's! ! LOL!









PIG SOOOIE BAYBEE!”

“Army handed Rutgers a sweet present Saturday night. The Wounded Amoebas managed a 44-0 shutout for our homecoming. It may be the only game we win this year but we'll take it. I actually saw quite a bit to be optimistic about now that the decision has been made to dump Cubit as Quarterback and replace him with the walk-on Trump. Cubit had committed to Clemson before we stole him but never lived up to expectations.”

“Did anyone catch the license plate number on the trucks PSU and ND were driving???

Yes, BB, I can see the excitement for Clarett. He and Leftwich sure seem to be among the best at this stage.

Dream on walkindude......it sauteed gator meat on the Hill next Saturday.

dayhiker, your team has me somewhat concerned.....I know they will be inspired....thank goodness we play on the Hill.

Georgia was about 1.5 feet away from being humbled.

Miami looked more human.

I hope Ohio State or Texas makes it to the Fiesta Bowl. If UT beats Miami, I would rather play either of those two in the big game as opposed to seeing Florida State or Miami again.

Will Vanderbilt win a game this year?”

“I'm not saying we would beat Texas. I'm just saying that we had better results against a common team and that we're heading in the right direction.”

“Alabama should have a pretty good year. I just hope it involves at least two losses.”

“ND should have won that game by 3 touchdowns...but we'll take it.

GO IRISH!!!!

And while being an independent type, I could care less about all this yapping about conferences... we are now 2-0 in the big ten this year...”

“Hail, Rutgers!!!
It looks like either Kansas State or Iowa State are going to be the class of the Big 12 North. I would love to see either team take it to Nebraska and Colorado.”

“What? No love for CAL?”

“Sure, DUNNY! Rub it in!!!!! Well, ya little whipper-snappers, when **I** went to school at IOWAY we beat Iowa State like 23 years straight. *sigh* What's the matter with the kids today??!?!?”

“No Dunadan, you can't chalk it up to just college football. It's definitely a sign that the big twelve is weak AGAIN. Not many of those pre-season top ten big twelve teams left. Oklahoma isn’t very good and Texas will choke in a big game. Weak, weak, weak, can you say WEAK? I knew you could.

Unfortunately the SEC doesn’t look too great this year either. Chili, your boys may be doing a lot of feasting this week unless our defensive front can find some character and stop teams from running. And our offensive line can stop teams from sacking Rex Grossman. Florida is just not as good as I anticipated. Maybe they’ll improve throughout the season, but they are definitely not one of the Big Boys this year. Top ten may be too kind for this team.

Violin, congratulations! Nothing like a good stompin’ to get a team back on track. The future bodes well for your young quarterback.

Welcome back to baume66 who hasn’t had much to cheer about lately. I always enjoy seeing Nebraska get beat by a team from a real conference.”

“There is a 10 am CST press conference today announcing the finding of the Appeals Committe for Alabama's case. I sure hope it's good news.”

“Well, I hope it is not bad news.....



that's about as far as I can go...”

“There rumors say that we get no relief. I'll know in a little under 2 hrs.”

“I'll stick to my guns. When the dust settles, the national (or nationaly) champion will be from the Big 12.
Dayhiker, have you sufficiently bribed the judge yet?
Sorry, Lizzy, it's Iowa State's turn.”

“Evidently not.”

“No relief. The Appeals committe chair said that had it not been for our compliance directors diligence we would have gotten the death penalty. Thanks again Mike Dubose.”

“The SMU Mustangs never recovered from the death penalty.”

“Arc, my man. I not only can say weak, I can spell it. F-L-O-R-....no, wait, I'm not that mean.”

“Some of the many reasons why the South is great.

Planning for the fall football season in the South is radically
different from up north. For those who are planning a football trip South, here are some helpful hints.

Women's Accessories:

NORTH: ChapStick in back pocket and a $20 bill in the front
pocket.
SOUTH: Louis Vuitton duffel with two lipsticks, waterproof mascara,
and a fifth of bourbon. Money not necessary - that's what dates are
for.

Stadium Size:
NORTH: College football stadiums hold 20,000 people.
SOUTH: High school football stadiums hold 20,000 people.

Fathers:
NORTH: Expect their daughters to understand Sylvia Plath.
SOUTH: Expect their daughters to understand pass interference.

Campus Decor:
NORTH: Statues of founding fathers.
SOUTH: Statues of Heisman trophy winners.

Homecoming Queen:
NORTH: Also a physics major.
SOUTH: Also Miss America.

Heroes:
NORTH: Rudy Guliani
SOUTH: Bear Bryant; Archie & Payton Manning

Getting Tickets:
NORTH: 5 days before the game you walk into the ticket office on
campus and purchase tickets.
SOUTH: 5 months before the game you walk into the ticket office
on campus and put name on waiting list for tickets.

Friday Classes After a Thursday Night Game:
NORTH: Students and teachers not sure they're going to the game,
because
they have classes on Friday.
SOUTH: Teachers cancel Friday classes because they don't want to
see the few hungover students that might actually make it to class.
Parking:

NORTH: An hour before game time, the University opens the campus
for game parking.
SOUTH: RVs sporting their school flags begin arriving on Wednesday
for the weekend festivities. The really faithful arrive on Tuesday.

Game Day:
NORTH: A few students party in the dorm and watch ESPN on TV.
SOUTH: Every student wakes up, has a beer for breakfast, and
rushes over to where ESPN is broadcasting "Game Day Live" to get on camera and
wave to the idiots up north who wonder why "Game Day Live" is never broadcast from their campus.

Tailgating:
NORTH: Raw meat on a grill, beer with lime in it, listening to
local radio station with truck tailgate down.
SOUTH: 30-foot custom pig-shaped smoker fires up at dawn. Cooking
accompanied by live performance by "Dave Matthews' Band," who
come over during breaks and
ask for a hit off bottle of bourbon.

Getting to the Stadium:
NORTH: You ask "Where's the stadium?" When you find it, you walk right in.
SOUTH: When you're near it, you'll hear it. On game day it becomes
the state's third largest city.

Concessions:
NORTH: Drinks served in a paper cup, filled to the top with soda.
SOUTH: Drinks served in a plastic cup, with the home team's
mascot on it, filled less than half way with soda, to ensure enough room for bourbon.

When National Anthem is Played:
NORTH: Stands are less than half full, and less than half of them
stand up.
SOUTH: 100,000 fans, all standing, sing along in perfect four-part
harmony.

The Smell in the Air After the First Score:
NORTH: Nothing changes.
SOUTH: Fireworks, with a touch of bourbon.

Commentary (Male):
NORTH: "Nice play."
SOUTH: "Dammit, you slow sum#&%!$ - tackle him and break his
legs."
Commentary (Female):
NORTH: "My, this certainly is a violent sport."
SOUTH: "Dammit, you slow sum#&%!$ - tackle him and break his
legs."

Announcers:
NORTH: Neutral and paid.
SOUTH: Announcer harmonizes with the crowd in the fight song,
with a tear in his eye because he is so proud of his team.

After the Game:
NORTH: The stadium is empty way before the game ends.
SOUTH: Another rack of ribs goes on the smoker. While somebody
goes to the nearest package store for more bourbon, planning begins for next week's game.

Nothing else in the universe comes even halfway close to the
glories of Southern football”

“Yes you are Dun, you are one mean sumbich. Oh my lord...sniff...bawl. To actually make a demeaning statement like that...sniff...whaaaa. I knowed who you was talkin' 'bout in your post. What Florida needs to do is tranfer to some podunk league and play teams like Kansas every week. Nebraska, Colorado, Oklahoma... peeeeeeeyuuuuuuuuu! Texas may win that WEAK league if they don't choke.

Three Florida teams in the top ten. Now there's something unusual, huh? Arclite's prediction: Miami will win the championship game.

Jeez what a pathetic year when the only fun I'm having is yanking Dunadan's chain.

Chili, you're keeping a low profile here this week. I predict that Tennessee walks all over Florida. I predict that Tennessee runs the ball effectively and that Florida's offense sputters and dies. What have I got to lose? I'm doing terribly in my betting pool this year.”

“Arc, I was trying to be gracious about this. Sure, the Gators are having a rough year and the Vols are going to get the job done.

But it would have been a lot more fun if the Gators had been ranked number 1 or 2. Somehow, cracking out a can of whoop ass on this year's Florida team just isn't as much fun.”

“Because this weekend at least in the fans eyes will define Florida’s entire season, the UT/UF game should be much like the last 5 years. Low scoring. Best ball control and ground game wins. Too much is riding on this game for UF; they will be ready to play and so many questions will be answered:
What about Zook
Any Heisman hope
SEC Champ (not taking into account a couple of huge upsets)
Can Tennessee match up against Miami, other than on paper?

Unless someone tacks on a few TDs in the final minutes or turnovers are abundant this game should be should be a midfield struggle.”

“Heck, Arc, Dayhiker said you have no balls. You don't have a retort to that?
In a couple of weeks, I will pinpoint the precise team from the Big 12 that will be this years national champion. Keep watching this space.”

“I like this thread.....

Dunadan's comedy relief adds a certain variety......”

“Northwestern? whaddafah?

o yeah...

I wonder how the Tulane lawsuit is progressing?”

“Northwestern STATE, je m'excuse.”

“I see Dunadan, you're going to wait a make a prediction AFTER the OU-Texas game on October 12th. That's what I'd call "Boldly going where no man has gone before...."

I didn't exactly say he didn't have balls did I? I've been a little more meek and mild since OU upset Bama.”

“Here's how I figure it. It only takes one Big 12 type, (me), to offset all of you deluded SEC pretenders. In time, I hope to bring all of you around to seeing things my way.
Dayhiker, what right do you have to bust the Dunadan and give away his master plan? Quit that! I actually was thinking of waiting until Oct. 13, but for no particular reason.
I like that word, upset. I hope you Tide fans get to use it in a positive way this year.”

“I hope we get to use it in a positive way too. I can't stand being upset too many more times. The games should be great for the next three weeks. We have Southern Miss this weekend at Tuscaloosa, 9/28 we travel to Fayetteville to play Arkansas, and then we have Georgia at home on 10/5. They should all be close games.”

“Dayhiker, if the Tide comes through those three games unscathed, I will begin to worry.”

“we're gonna kill cinci, despite the fact our Heisman RB currently has 1 functioning leg.”

“I think the SMU game will be tough because of the possibility of letdown after the appeal coming back negative. The Ark game scares me the most of all of them. SEC refs tend to forget how to count to 11 when Ark plays us. They have an off week this week and seem to have found some offense. I think Jawja is overrated. I look for us to kick their tail back to Athens.”

“The only good thing about football is the tailgate parties!!”

“Tailgate parties in the South are a way of life.”

“I think spirit just summed up way the rest of the country views Pac-10 football.”

“PAC-10......where the preferred forward pass is handing the guacomole to the person in front of you”

“You know,,,,we talk a little smack in the SEC,,,,,,but we can all collectively say that we don't have to endure a mascot like this .”

“What?! You don't want to be a Beaver, Chili? I've always wondered about the state of Oregon with its Ducks and Beavers......
Tide will whip SMU by at least 20 points or my name isn't Dunadan! However, you are smart to be wary of the Hogs.
Kansas is in its second season of allowing tailgate parties after many years of them being banned. It sure has helped the attendance, and the fans seem a little more lively when they get into the stadium, for some reason.”

“Tailgate parties were banned???

WTF???

That is just downright Un-American!

Could you imagine the Iron Bowl, in Auburn, without tailgate parties?? It would be like going to a tennis match! Quiet, reserved.....

Just another of the long list of reasons why the Big 12 is an inferior league.”

“Actually, chili, no I can't imagine that. We'll let the politicians rob us blind in Alabama without saying a word, but if they banned tailgate parties, I think there would be a revolt.”

“I am certain there would be open defiance....

Where would you lock up 100,000 people for breaking the law?”

“Kansas used to ban tailgating? No wonder you suck at football. That's heresy. The football gods have been punishing you.
1. Thou shalt tailgate
2. Thou shalt eat pork
3. Thou shalt drink beer
4. Thou shalt sing the fight song
5. Thou shalt stay until the end of the game.
6. Thou shalt yell your head off for the entire game.
7. Thou shalt cheer when the announcer announces that your rival is getting beat.
8. Thou shalt cheer when the announcer announces that Notre Dame is getting beat.
9. Thou shalt drink more beer after the game.
10. Thou shalt party on into the night.

So decreeth the Bear from on high.”

“Well, I suppose you could lock them up in Jordan-Hare. But that would sort of defeat the purpose...”

“My question is how would you ban a tailgate party? Can any accurately define a tailgate party?”