Why is my wife mad at me?

“I took a message for my wife, and wrote it down word for word. Now she won't talk to me. The message said:

"Someone from the Guyna College called, and they said that your Pabst Beer is normal."”

“Glad to hear her beer is OK.”

“An email that could save your (or your womans) life...

An email that could save your (or your womans) life...”

“Huh? What the hell has THAT got to do with beer?”

“Pathman...I hereby dub thee "Papman". Go forth and sin no more!”

“LOL!”

“I think Hobbit needs to buy a round.

This is precisely why we need the HMWH Club. We don't understand them so we hang a round people we can trust.”

“lol”

“She's mad because the message was about Pabst Beer instead of liquor.”

“I was raised by OB-GYN's so I know Just Enough to be dangerous...

What about Red, White and Blue?

Carling Black Label?”

“OB-GYN's plural? Your parents are weird”

“Papman? I asked for that.”

“What a question!

Why is my wife mad at me???? If you are still asking that question, you haven't been married long enough. Do they need a reason?”

“Because she thinks I'd rather go backpacking than do house repairs.”

“It was worse than that, Biz. Dad was an ortho; Mom, Bro-in-law and live-in cousin were OB's. Three of 'em talkin' 'shop' over dinner? Priceless!”

“I'm an amatuer OBGYN, and I know that a normal Pabst Beer is good, in some circles at least.”

“Why ask why? Just accept it and go hang in the garage like the rest of us.”

“My Dad's neighbor in Virginia was an oysterman. He kept a six pack of Bud buried in the far corner of his lot, near the workshed.

Tilt, I feel for you! No wonder you were always outside looking at the stars.”

“LOL Hobbit!!! Whatcha been doing, guy? Getting out?”

“Pabst beer ain't normal!”

“My doctor told me I had to loose weight. He recommended walking 10 miles a day.

A month later I called the doctor and said my wife's mad at me. I walked 10 miles a day like you said, and now I'm 300 miles from home.”

“One day, Bill comes home from the pickle factory where he works and confesses to his wife that he has a terrible urge to stick his pen!s into the pickle slicer. His wife suggests he see a sex therapist to talk about it, but Bill says he?d be too embarrassed, and he vows to overcome the compulsion on his own. One day a few weeks later, Bill comes home absolutely ashen.

"What?s wrong, Bill?" his wife asks.

"Do you remember that I told you how I had this tremendous urge to put my pen!s into the pickle slicer?"

"Oh, Bill, you didn?t."

"Yes, I did."

"My God, Bill, what happened?"

"She and I both got fired."”

“HAAAAHAAHA!!!!

Good one Tarp!”

“My doctor told me my wife would be less mad at me if I talked with her more after sex.

I thought that was an ok idea, as long as I can get to a phone.”

“i daresay your little ploy to annoy me into posting a picture is going to work, steve...”

“ARGH.

LOLOLOLOLOLOL



and Yes, Mr. Path Man... there are simply some things in this world 8 year old boys don't need to know! HAHAhahahahaha.....

Some of these can be beneficial LATER, but not in the Third Grade! Criminy!”

“Pabst Beer is NORMAL?

Hahahahahahahaha...

That's a funny one.”

“Husband: Why are you mad at me?
Wife: You mean you don't know?

One thing I have learned is do not try to make a guess out loud at this point. Being a man you will dig yourself a deeper hole. As Le Subtil suggests, just hang out in the garage until it passes.”

“Pabst Beer is closer to normal than Genesee Beer.”

“Poor Hobbit -
Some days you will never, never win. My hubby lost big time last night. I came home from my board mtg and was all excited about what happened and all he did was sit there in his lazy boy with a big dumb grin on his face and bob his head up and down like he really gave a sh-t. It pi**ed me off. "What did I do, what did I do" was all he could say. He really did nothing wrong. - Hobbit, you can never win, no man can. Fact of life.”

“What did he do?

Obviously his mind reading powers are a little weak. I don't know too many men who can read minds, but women expect us to be clairvoyants.”

“Hubby needs to improve his mind reading skills. My body language indicated excitement, he should have seen that. Why didn't he? It's funny, but when we were dating he was clairvoyant, but after marriage it dissolved.

Is there any man out there who is clairvoyant? If so, please post.”

“I rest my case.”

“"Is there any man out there who is clairvoyant? If so, please post."

If you have to ask, I'm not going to tell you!”

“Hobbit, you live in Utah

Don't you have like, a couple wives?

heh heh heh”

“HOI, i didn't think you could find Gennessee in Virginia. i must say, i like the blue light special better than Pabst, but only if forced to drink either.”

“please excuse my gross mispelling. Genesee”

“Hobbit, did you forget to give her a blue ribbon?”

“Actually I hear Genny got bought out last year and the new owner changed the name. So no-one is drinking it any more (sigh) oh for the beers of my youth (grin) actually I hated the taste of Genesee beer - their cream ale was OK but the beer needed to be recycled before drinking - I would drink a Utica Club before even considering a Genny - UC was a bit funky tasting but drinkable.

Anyways you have caught me out - yes it is true - this old hog is went to college many long years ago in "upstate" NY - I guess this is enough to classify me as a damned yankee.

HOI

PS. y'all do know the difference between a yankee and a damned yankee ... right ???”

“I must be a wife--the first thing that ran through my mind when I read the title of this thread was "because you are a twit!"

Our daughter (eight months pregnant and sick) arrived at the front door this morning in tears. I did not ask specifics but about an hour and a phone call from hubby later she went on home.”

“A man once married has a life in half some say
what are you looking at, don`t look that way
much taller was the man before being married, after that you shrink
with the little woman riding your back and telling you what to think
once I had thoughts of my own, but that was in another life
now no longer can I think for myself, God, I miss my wife
no-where to strike out to and no one saying I can`t go
for to many years she made my decisions, I miss her so
now it`s my voice I hear answer and those are my thoughts I think
not used to my own voice yet, I still duck my head after and blink”

“Yeah HOI, I am one of those damn yankees too. I've also had my share of the not so fine. Lived in upstate NY for a couple of years. Grew up about 40 miles or so from the Finger Lakes (northern PA). I lived on an old farm with 5 other guys and it was mostly Genny light and Schmidts.”

“CHILLS, Big Foot.

I heard a story about a guy at a restaurant with his wife. The waiter told him what vegetables they had, and the guy turns to his wife and says, "I dunno... Honey? Do I like broccoli?"”

“My wife is not mad at me. She's asleep right now.”

“She doesn't dream?

I've had my wife get mad at me for something I did in her dream.

Amazing!”

“LOL Violin

A friend of mine got mad at her boyfriend cause he cheated on her in her dream

She said it must be real cause she was thinking about it subconciously”

“This friend also got mad cause he was looking at Victoria Secrets catalouges (she threw them all out)

I said--hey, what were you thinking? Victoria Secret's catalouges are free!”

“now he's going to go get a subscription to Maxim. Or worse, Hustler! Or OH MY GOD, sign up for a therapeutic massage



..some people don't know when they've got it good”

“I must be a husband--the first thing that ran through my mind when I read the title of this thread was "because she is a b!tch!"

No offence intended to Mrs. Hobbit, or any other wives here ;-)”

“The problem that us guys have with women is that they're either pre-menstrual, menstrual or post-menstrual. So what does that leave, like a week out out of the month when they're sane. Oh yeah and then during that week they ovulate.

To make matters worse, when your wife has her two days of sanity, you go to work or for a drive or whatever and you run into other women in one of the four phases. Sheesh, we're never gonna get a break until menopause.”