"I'd give my right leg..."

“What's up with this?

Excerpt: "Inside, I feel my legs don't belong to me and shouldn't be there."”

“Yeah. That guys is freak. I didn't even have to go to your link to know what you were talking about. Um. I don't think I'd ever want to see that, much less PAY to see it.”

“It's the Detroit Free Press - no photos. Really.”

“Oh. I'm talking about the guy in a wheelchair whose legs were partially disfigured in an accident and apparently make it cumbersome for him to move. He's going to remove them himself with a guillotine, live, on the web, so he can be fitted with artificial limbs. Man, some people are strange.”

“null”

“both of those stories are NASTY! I should have never read this thread. EEEWWWWWW!”

“roseymonster, if there is a picture of an amputee from this disease out there, Violin with find it, LMAO.

This is so funny, I'm laughing and crying at the same time. What if people wanted their heads removed, would the doctors consider that too.”

“He's a super freak, super freak. He's super freaky. Owwwwwwww!”

“I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.”

“Amputation generally saves lives. I'm not grossed out by it. But the concept of willingly amputating a part of your body in a non-life threatening situation is pretty friggin' weird.

To keep this backpacking related, I saw a story on TV about this guy, out backpacking by himself. He's climbing a steep, rocky hillside which starts to crumble. A huge boulder comes loose, pinning his leg underneath up to the knee. There's no way he's moving this 3 ton boulder. He's in the middle of nowhere. No one knows he's there. He yells for a couple of hours, prays, tries digging his leg out, the whole nine yards. A day goes by. He's getting dehydrated and realizes what he has to do. Whips out his 3-inch blade swiss army knife and starts sawing away at the knee. He passes out a couple of times from the pain. Finally gets the sucker off and his leg tied off in a tourniquet. He hops/crawl up to his car at the top of the hill, hops in, drives into town and the ER. Passes out the front door. He lived. That is hard core, man.”

“"I'd give my right leg..." for my left leg that I lost in NAM”

“Owwwwwwwwwwwww!”

“I saw that one roseymonster. I wonder if I could do it if I had to.”

“TO be cliche: Desperate times call for desperate measures.”

“"It's about becoming whole, not becoming disabled," he said, adding that people with the obsession "feel there's an alien aspect of their body."

Yeah dude, I know what you mean, in a way. I've often felt we are missing a piece, like there should be something coming out the abdomen and hooking around between the shoulder blades.”

“I have an irrational fear of amputation.

Thanks Sunshine”

“You can't amputate what's not there.”

“In bacpac's case, would it be considered minor surgery?”

“You guys are a riot!

Calling Doctor Moe, Calling Doctor Larry, Calling Nurse Kratchet”

“In bacpac's case the surgery would be microscopic surgery and it would be performed by the world reknowned specialist..

Dr. Lorena Bobbit? perhaps you've heard of her new cutting edge technology in this area??”

“Did someone say Lorena Bobbit?”

“THE BALLAD OF THE BOBBIT HILLBILLIES

Sung to the tune of "The Beverly Hillbillies" (Substitute Bacpac for John)

Come and listen to my story of a man named John,
A poor ex-marine with a little fraction gone.
It seems one night after gettin' with his wife,
She lopped off his schlong with the swipe of a knife.

(Dick, that is)

(Clean cut, Missed his nuts)

Well, the next thing you know, there's a ginsu by his side,
And Lorena's in the car takin' Willie for a ride.
She soon got tired of her purple-headed friend,
And tossed him out the window as she came around the bend.

(Curve, that is)

(Pricker shrubs, Wheel hubs)

She went to the cops and confessed to the attack,
And they called out the hounds just to get his weanie back.
They sniffed and they barked and they pointed ``Over There,''
To John Wayne's Henry that was waving in the air.

(Found, that is)

(By a fence, Evidence)

Now Peter and John couldn't stay apart too long,
So the Dick Doc said, ``Hey, I can fix your Dong!''
``A needle and a thread is all you're gonna need.''
And the whole world waited 'til they heard that Johnny peed.

(Whizzed, that is)

(Even seam, Straight stream)

Well, he healed and he hardened and he took his case to court,
With a cock-eyed lawyer since his assets came up short.
They cleared her of assault and acquitted him of rape,
And his pecker was the only one they didn't show on tape.

(Video, that is)

(Unexposed, Case closed)”

“Here's a solution to the situation. The guy wants his legs amputated and NATO wants a mine field cleared. Instead of paying a doctor to do the job, fly the guy to Bosnia and tell him to go have a blast!”

“STEVE..ROFLMBO

Good one!! I think that's worth a Snicker's (r) bar or two or three..lol

I owe ya!”

“"I'd give my left leg.." for my right leg that I gave away earler in this thread.”

“CRASH VICTIM'S LEG FOUND 700 MILES AWAY

Thu Mar 28, 9:00 AM ET CHICAGO (Reuters) - The severed leg of a 69-year-old man killed with his wife when their van was struck by a freight train in Mississippi was found 700 miles away near Chicago, authorities said on Wednesday.

Max Twiner and his wife Virginia, 68, died on Monday when their van was crushed by a Canadian National Railroad train at a rail crossing near Yazoo City, Mississippi. Max's leg -- with the boot still on -- was discovered caught up in one of the train cars upon its arrival in Harvey, Ill., on Tuesday. "It is a catastrophic collision when a train hits a vehicle," railroad spokesman Ian Thomson said, explaining the dismemberment. The accident is under investigation, authorities said.

(Or you might say he completed one leg of the journey.)”

“Time to order longer crime scene tape!”

“I read a SF short story once about a man stranded on a desert island with a bunch of cocaine and no food. He ended up cutting his own limbs off and eating them. That was really a strange one. I don't remember who wrote it though.”

“I like the one about the semi-truck driver who thought he hit something one night and couldn't figure out what it was. At day-break, people were flashing their headlights at him. When he finally stopped, he found a guy plastered to the grill. Evidently, the man was drunk and sleeping on the highway. When he awoke, he sat up...... =80”

“ice, that was stephen king.

man, how about that woman in texas who nailed the guy in her car, drove back to her garage with the dude stuck in the windshield, then let him bleed to death over the next two days as she repeatedly went out to the garage to apologise. That's twisted!!”

“Even Stephen King couldn't have dreamed that one up.

Maybe since his run-in with the car he'll be doing some more thinking along those lines.

Remember "Christine"!”

“didn't the woman in *Misery* hit that poor dude with her car? and then try to chop his leg off...yummy.”

“yow.

Really makes you want to be a writer, eh?

Hmm... that 'leg in the train' thing might have the makings of a good ghost story, especially if you have a train in the distance... or you know when the train comes by and you can time it, <evil grin>.

You could tell the little campers that the leg is still looking for its owner... then hop around their tents on one leg after lights out...

heh heh heh heh heh ...”

“Lyra, that "poor dude" was played by James Caan. He got busted up in a car crash...the lonely (abit crazy) woman (Kathy Bates) saved him and tried to force him to write a book.

When he tried to escape, she broke both his ankles...I think she calls it "hobbling". Good book/movie.”

“That part in the movie was very cool.

His screem seemed very real!

8)”

“I winced when I watched that part.”

“It is all about the parking spaces for the disabled. When you only have one leg, you don't have to walk to far to get to the grocery store.

No offense to anyone intended.”

“My dad is a amputie!I know I spelled the word wrong but anyway he got hit by a drunk driver when he was 19 years old and he is 64 right now he gets around quite well!

I remember when I was little he threw his fake leg at me becuase I was doing something bad!!!!

Hhehehe I think about that now that was a long time ago!

8)”